I came across this recipe earlier that my be ok to try, more calories but less carbs.
http://allrecipes.co.uk/recipe/17221/low-carb-hot-chocolate.aspx?o_is=LV
I did a diary partly for the same reason as you, I felt if I was writing everything down I would be more honest with myself and accountable.
I’ve not suffered from full blown eating disorders, but I have binged, and I have eaten in secret, disposing of the evidence. I too have felt shame. However I’m a work in progress but I’m coming to a place of empowerment and acceptance – I hope you are on your way here!
You have no need to feel guilt or shame for your past eating, nor for any slip ups you might have in the coming months.
For a start, suffering from a real eating disorder is a REAL THING. It isn’t something you chose. It isn’t something anyone can control easily. Suffering from carb addiction is also a REAL THING. It also isn’t something you chose, and controlling that is also difficult. I’m starting to realise that this is not something I should feel ashamed of. Knowing that is empowering and is helping me to be motivated to change my life, after many failed attempts at various regimes in the past. I’m on week 4 and I’m convinced now that I can do this, and so can you!
I’d love if you could feel the freedom of letting the guilt and shame go. You don’t deserve them. Best of luck to you!