Hello, all!
Wow, halfway through another 8 weeks – what a good reminder, Verano! It doesn’t seem like it has been 12 weeks, but time flies!
The last two weeks have been tough for me, work-wise, and last week I was out of town all week and sitting in meetings in a hotel all day, every day. Very little control over what I had to choose from in terms of food and almost no time (unless I sacrificed sleep) to walk/exercise, and I was really worried about what the scale would say when I returned. Oh, I should probably mention that I also drank more in that week than I have in the previous 12 combined – which is to say, less than my former life, but more than I should have done.
So I finally got on the scale this morning (I couldn’t face it yesterday after getting back late the night before) and was a little shocked to see that I’d gained less than half a pound. I was all set for bad news and self-recrimination, and my husband was standing about ten feet away saying, “Now, remember, even if you don’t like what you see, it is only temporary,” etc. because I’d confessed all my sins about food and drink and he knew I was anxious.
Weigh-in: Down a total of 8 lbs since the end of the first 8 weeks, 40 lbs overall on the diet, and 52.5 lbs since Jan. 1. 42.6 lbs to go!!! I really want to get to the “under 40 lbs to lose” stage!
What the last week taught me:
I am going to feel guilty if I am not exercising and I was almost paralyzed by not being able to control my meals, and that’s probably bad. It turns out I made ok choices, but I was far more worried about eating the wrong thing than the prospect of just not eating at all.
I think this means I need to make a few adjustments:
1. Most importantly, avoid these situations. I could have been very clear with the conference organizers about my food restrictions, but I hate to be a bother and figure it is my problem, not theirs. But I also could have gone to a local grocery store and made some purchases that would have helped me avoid the problem; and, I could have paid more attention to the conference schedule in advance so I was prepared to give up an hour of sleep in order to fit in exercise.
2. Give myself a break. I’m so afraid of backsliding that I’ve somehow convinced myself that any deviation from the plan is going to immediately result in a 50 lb gain or a slippery slope to it. I need to chill out. Of course, if moderation was my talent, I wouldn’t be in the position of trying to lose almost 100 lbs to begin with, right? 🙂
3. Be more open with people. I think, had I shared my situation with others, I could have counted on them to excuse me from some of the social things in order to take better care of myself. That’s not 100% true – one of my closest friends was there and there is a 1/1 correlation b/w being around her and my misbehaving! – but it’s largely true, and people understand and have generally been supportive when I have been honest.
I guess I just want to acknowledge that, even when things are going the right direction overall, food is still this scary presence in my life and, while I may have established the right habits now for eating and exercising, I may be a bit behind mentally and need to put some effort into normalizing my relationship with food and exercise!