Right everyone, I’m just checking in to let you know I am still alive.
Since I last posted life has not been easy. In short, I’m paddling very hard under the surface with my new company but it’s proving hard going (economy wobbly here with oil crisis/ Trump etc) and I’m not certain how much longer I can viably (financially) keep up self-employment. It seems it’s just the wrong time to do it. Even just yesterday I was warned that my client in Saudi, who wants to renew my contract, might not now be able to – and that contract is my largest and pays my rent. So my anxiety levels have soared, leading to comfort eating, insomnia, general miserable state etc and it’s been a real fight to keep going and face forward and not down.
On top of that, my brother has been diagnosed with a fairly rare cardiovascular condition (to do with blood lipids) that affects 1 in 10,000 people and raises dramatically his risk of early heart disease, stroke etc. That’s bad enough, except it’s genetic and both my little brother and I now have a 1 in 2 chance of having it too. I am having tests on Thursday which should confirm it either way; my little brother is refusing to get tested. The condition’s progress can be slowed down but it would mean a pill every day for the rest of my life if I have it and there’s consequences to that too. I don’t ‘do’ conventional medicine as a first preference. I am relatively comforted by the fact that a recent cholesterol test came back with excellent results (4), whereas my brother’s was 11-15 (which is how he was sent for more tests in the first place) but apparently this does not mean that I don’t have this condition. My little brother burying his head in the sand is a source of worry for us all. My affected brother’s doctor has not really given him any nutritional advice except to not drink alcohol daily (which he does not) and lower his intake of processed foods (which he lives on). I find this insubstantial and am sure there is more he could be doing.
Oh, and The Chef and I broke up. Not nastily, but I can’t build a relationship with someone I never get to see!
So I have regrouped and taken some decisions. Among these, I have started job-hunting (which might take me anywhere in the world), give up smoking (which I only started recently) and I am back on Fast800. It turns out that a combination of a low-fat Med diet with no meat or dairy, which is what I was originally doing last year, is the best nutritional plan for my brother’s health condition. He won’t follow it but, whether I have this condition or not, it is now going to be my life.
I’m hoping that my anxiety levels reduce too as more stable job options (hopefully) open up and that the effect of the BSD starts to help build back up my self-confidence levels which has taken a small recent hit.
So I’m still here in the background but am focused with my head down on resolving the current stresses and moving forward positively. I believe February will be much easier!
Love to everyone, congrats on the losses, commiserations on the disappointments and happy recent birthday PatC.
Sarah x