Great idea as usual, Verano, for this reflection thread, with some very thoughtful posts so far. I’ve taken some time before posting to be sure of what I want to “say”.
Firstly, I tracked back to the equivalent time last year and found we were just starting the “4 WEEK FIX … 27TH DECEMBER … WELCOMING 2017 WITH BSD GUSTO!” thread. I wanted to check my weight then and also any goals I’d stated.
12 months ago my weight was 63.7kg, this morning it was 62.5kg. So, essentially, I’ve lost 1kg in 12 months. Talk about spinning my wheels ……. during this time I’ve been as low as 61.3kg and up to 65.1kg.
My stated aims then were (copied here): knowing that I do better with behavioral goals rather than kg goals, my aims are:
1a. Be happy keeping cals under 900; carbs under 60gms
1b. Be sure cals & carbs are BSD friendly
2. Be meticulous abt fluid intake
3. Exercise has been a bit here and there lately, so will get back to regular gym and walking. I know I feel so much better when I do.
All quite reasonable as I had only a relatively small target loss i.e 8-10kgs over all, and did not/do not have, diabetes. My concern was for the steady upward weight trend and a worry about my increasing sugary/starchy carbs intake.
The behavioral goals were met sporadically over time, re-worded and re-set at different times during the year. I still have bouts of simple carb overdose …go for weeks without, feel great …. suddenly hit reverse, feel awful and have to go through the withdrawals again. Crazy.
In previous reflections I’ve talked about fear of success (rather than fear of failure) and still think that is a valid assessment, plus always was, still am, an emotional eater. E.g. I know I have osteo arthritis in the usual spots, and have a fairly high pain threshold, but just lately my fingers have been worrying me. So, saw GP today for xray results – pretty much bone on bone now in all joints of both hands plus marked deterioration in my wrists. Really just a confirmation of what I already knew but the graphic evidence threw me and I ate cake, ice cream, then fish and chips for the evening meal. Binge/eating my feelings. Old habits still dying hard. Now, bloated, unable to sleep at nearly 2 a.m., I am, as ever, regretting my thoughtless actions.
So, having reviewed and reflected on the last 12 months and, more immediately, yesterday, it’s time to renew. Time to be rid of simple carbs and see if I have the same reduction in arthritic pain that others have spoken of on this forum. Whether or not that happens, for my overall health, including cholesterol, ridding my system of simple carbs is now my main goal. All else is secondary.
A long post. Thank you for your indulgence. Amazing to have such deep feelings for people I’ve never met. xx Marilyn