Warning: miserable rant ahead.
I am feeling distinctly grumpy today. Fat, unattractive, resentful, low in self-confidence and grumpy. Hormone-related? Possibly. Work-stress? Possibly a bit too. But I think much of it because, having reapplied myself and started tracking again, I feel so limited in my choices and amount I can eat, and I am starving. It feels like the beginning all over again where the energy soar and the benefits haven’t kicked in yet and you just feel, well, rubbish.
I know I just have to stick with it and that I’ll feel better about myself again soon, as before. I find myself envious of everyone else’s successes but then I have been far too relaxed in month two to have generated the results so accept I could have been in the same boat if I had been more consistent. And I know that it works for me and if I don’t stick to it I don’t lose weight. But with just over four stone still go (assuming I haven’t gained any – too scared to check) to it seems like it’s going to be a never-ending battle and I’m so sick of this 25 year broken record.
So I’m just going to plough on in the knowledge that it will get easier again, like it did before. This time last month I felt great. I HAVE made lots of changes and I am eating differently to two months ago so there is much to celebrate to be fair. I guess that, at the core, I feel like I won’t be truly happy with myself until I crack this and this seems like a long way off, if at all ever.
I’ll feel better shortly, I know it. I just needed to let off some misery-steam. Thank you for listening x
PS: My brother has already given up (!) and has headed out for a burger…