Iโm 67 and up until I had my first child my clothes were size 12 to 14 (UK sizes). By the time I was 25 I weighed 14 stone and gradually my weight crept up until, at my heaviest, I weighed 18st 2 lbs. While I wasnโt happy with my weight, it didnโt make me miserable either โ I am normally blessed with a naturally happy disposition. Iโve been on nudist beaches, abseiling and even white water rafting โ and generally could outlast most of my friends on the dancefloor (though God knows what I looked like!) My downfall is chocolate, sweets, salty crisps and peanuts, those delicious Krispy Kreme doughnuts with their wonderful fillings, McDonaldโs chocolate muffins and desserts! Not puddings, but desserts โ meringue, cheesecake, mousse, chocolate fudge cake.
Then, six years ago I developed Type 2 diabetes. I immediately stopped taking THREE spoonfulโs of sugar in my tea, and for a couple of week didnโt eat anything sweet. Over time I managed to get my weight down to 16st 7lb, but carried on eating all the โgoodiesโ that I like once I realised that the medication kept my blood sugar down, as at the time I was told by my doctor that diabetes is irreversible.
Then in October 2016 I read The 800 Calorie Blood Sugar diet. I Googled this, did some research and realised it wasnโt just another fad but backed by some solid research and evidence. I couldnโt start the diet straight away as I had just had major surgery (total knee replacement), so I had from October until the beginning of January to prepare for this, both practically and emotionally.
I started the BSD on Monday 2nd January and found the first four weeks easy, eating different foods, weighing portions โ it was all new and had a certain element of excitement. I completed my eight weeks on Sunday 26th February and during that time I lost just over 28 lbs.
I decided to give myself a break for March, but still eat sensibly. Fortunately I like fish, shellfish, chicken and eggs, and thankfully I can take or leave alcohol and donโt care if I never eat bread, potatoes, rice and pasta again. So Iโve stuck to, more or less, the same eating plan, but havenโt been weighing everything and have indulged in the occasional โtreatโ. Unbelievably Iโve actually lost another 7lbs โ not a lot I know, but in the right direction.
Now hereโs the crunch, and the reason for this long email โ quite frankly, once the novelty of the first four weeks fell off Iโve been miserable. When I stand on the scales and see Iโve lost weight the euphoria last for a couple of minutes โ I then spend the rest of my waking time looking at the clock to see when I can eat again, or focusing on what I canโt eat instead of what I can eat.
And I have to ask myself โ is this the rest of my life? And if so, do I want it? Do I want to be slim, healthy and miserable and have a longer life? Or do I want to be fat, unfit but happy and shorten my life expectancy considerably?
I am aware that it all starts in the mind and practice mindfulness, and also relax for a few minutes every day and focus on the power of positive thinking โ but somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind, my subconscious is saying what it really wants is a bar of chocolate, and then another, and then another.
Sorry for such a long email, but Iโm also hoping that writing it down and posting it on the website may be therapeutic, and some of you might also have some helpful suggestions.