Hello Friends,
It’s 9:15am Monday morning here in Toronto and we’ve the cardiologist for Kev in a couple of hours. What I’ve really noticed about the BSD is that I’m mindful of what I’m eating. They’ve booked all manner of tests for Kev so we’ll be at the hospital most of the day–as such I’ve packed a small cooler of food to keep me going. Truthfully, when I had to call the ambulance a few days back I waited until they arrived then ran to the kitchen to toss together a quick to go pack. There I was slicing a tomato and peeling a cucumber but still responding to “does your husband have a history of heart disease” etc. They must have thought it odd but in fairness, I have always been a bit on the control freak side which is aiding my ‘stay the course’ approach to this diet.
I don’t actually refer to the BSD as a ‘diet’ just rather a new path I’m strolling down. The only thing I don’t like is taking my BS. (not bullshit–blood sugar). I’m a bit on the cheap side and the lances are frigging pricey so I use them about…..8-9 times before changing them but do wipe them with alcohol in between uses. On the first 1-6 pricks no biggie but by 7, as they are getting blunt, it’s click “MOTHERFUUUUUUUCKER”, read the screen.
I’m not sure if “Tuna Noodle Casserole” is a thing for my Aussie/UK peeps but it has always been my go too comfort food. It’s kind of a tuna, egg noodle, sauce concoction. Well, I found a low carb yummy substitute. It involves a pile of cabbage and it leaves you farting away your woes but by Christ it’s tasty. If anyone wants the recipe let me know. I know it’s a bit pedestrian but sometimes you just need yummy comfort food and it is just the trick.
What I have noticed about this whole process is that I am taking more notice of me. Beyond shopping for food specific to my needs I’ve had hair and nails done and I’ve made an appointment at the dentist for a cleaning. I’ve even booked a massage! I’m all about investing in me and I’m worth it.
I am truthfully staggered that I haven’t found my way back to the bottom of a bottle given all the stress/scare with Kev. I can’t say it hasn’t crossed my mind but I just walk my way back to the kettle, steadfastly remind myself of my course and cradle my warm comforting cup of tea taking strength from knowing I’ve made the right decision for me in that moment.
Friends, I fucking love the way this new life is making me feel. I sure hope each and every one of you is tapping into the greatness within you too. It’s there, it’s yours and it’s a wonderful treasure!
Much love, Liz

Hey Lee, How are you doing? Been worried about you. If you are about, let us know you’re okay. Much love, Liz and the gang.

Hey Chick, Well done you on restraint. If it helps, when you’re trying to stay the course but can’t muster the restraint, reach out and hold my hand. I seem to have tapped into a bank of resolve within me and it is powering me through temptation so just reach out and hold my hand. I’ll help you through the ‘fuck it’ moments. Trust me, I know all too well how hard it can be. Know that you aren’t alone on this planet facing trial and know that my hand it there and I’ll lead you to the kettle for a truly investing drink–a nice cup of tea….no sugar.
Yours, Liz

Hello Friends,
A totally exhausting day! Kev had all the tests but I’m crazy tired too! It was a “hurry up and wait” kind of day. I sure can’t fault our medical system as they are leaving no stone unturned. We were at the hospital most of the day and I packed a lunch to avoid the cafe and vending machines. When Kev was in having the ultrasound of his heart I was having my salad with a few bits of cold beef when a volunteer with a therapy dog came into the waiting room. The dog made a beeline to me and the chipper volunteer said, if you want to give him a little treat that’s fine. Grrrrrrrr. I had meticulously measured out 100g of beef and my inside voice was screaming “NOT A FUCKING CHANCE” but I’m a dog person and shared……It was one of those small shitzu things or a Maltese maybe and wanted up on my lap. It was a loveable little thing but it brought to light a reality that there isn’t much space on my “lap.” After the volunteer had moved on I finished my salad and, to pass the time and alleviate the stress I turned my efforts to writing a song of sorts….sing it in your head to a country western tune:

My Kev he used to love my tits when they were slung up high,
I’d bounce them ‘round the rodeo the boys ‘ud stare and sigh.
But something’s happened, don’t know quite what,
But my tits are out of air,
They hang on me like spaniel’s ears, they’re just a danglin’ pair.

My birthday’s ‘round the corner and my Kev makes such a fuss,
Said Liz do ya want a doggie? And I said no, I’d like a truss.
I’ll strap my titties back up high and hit the rodeo,
And once again my tits will win
Blue ribbon for Best in Show.

So don’t buy me no doggie– just a truss and some strong twine,
My titties they will thank you and they will look so fine!
As much as I love doggies, I’d love a perky pair,
But there’s no room for no lap dogs….
As my tits are resting there.
___________________________________

Hey, it helped pass the time. 🙂

Much love for you all and reach for the best of you tomorrow.

Lizzie Dangle Tits
xo

Good morning (Aus time) everyone!
Angela nice to “hear” your voice again and well done on 3 AFNs (alcohol free nights!) I’m learning that every one of them is a small triumph. Even while we all wish for your absolute forbearance Canadaliz!! (esp as you say, with all the stress you’ve had…and so glad to hear you have Kev home again!) all small steps are in the right direction

I’m starting week three and doing pretty well….what I’ve been thinking about is how we frequently self-sabotage, but also how other will encourage us to….. and how this forum has helped (for me at least) reduce this.
In the past I have rarely wanted to admit to going “on a diet” as we are made to feel that it’s vain and a social nuisance (which to some extent it is both…) BUT it’s also about taking back control…and as you say Liz, allowing some self care …..and yes, we are all worth it and deserving (without wanting to sound too new-age!!! aaagh)

For the first time in many years I feel comfortable telling people that I’m on a restricted eating (and drinking) plan for the time it takes and having this forum-family to share experiences so that I don’t bore the socks off family and face to face friends has been a godsend.

I’m also thinking of starting a (in my case wine) booze fund, and every night I don’t have a drink, putting in the equivalent money for a treat…say every 4-6 weeks
Massage is definitely on the list, but I also think I’m going to save to have my teeth whitened (though maybe I won’t need to after not drinking the red!!)…and some REALLY nice new underwear!!

thanks everyone…you’re all stars!!

Hahahaha… Tit gags can be funny, but Tit songs are hilarious, you made my morning Liz. Iain

Hello Peeps,
I DID IT…I know others have gone before me, but for me it was a mammoth undertaking. I didn’t drink alcohol last night! I have half a bottle in the fridge and all day kept thinking, I can just finish that tonight. Then when the time came, I had some fizzy water and that was it. No more wine. I went to bed in a self congratulatory mood. I did have trouble relaxing and dropping off, but I did relaxing breaths and was asleep before 12.

I awoke this morning, with a clear head, a clear conscience and a new resilience against the dreaded Vino.

Canadaliz, I loved your song….I think my tits would need a block and tackle and heavy duty scaffolding now though…and I also suffer from the missing lap. My grandson actually sits on the belly rather than the lap!

Anyway, thank you all for being such wonderful people.

Lots of love,
A sober Nonna

Hi Canadaliz, re your low BS (BTW well done), from my experience (in week 8 with meds halved at week 4 and no expert at all) it seems that the body has to take a while to adjust to the changes taking place in the body. I like to think of it as the pancreas and liver starting to work better than before as the visceral fat is eliminated. Your new waist?? That’s visceral fat going as well as the external stuff. At least, that’s what I think.

I had lots of lows (but not that low) before meds halved. Now starting to get back into the low 5s after jumping all over the place up to 7 last week (after a night out, first one since started diet and had a glass of wine).

I so admire you and all the others for whom alcohol is the devil. And it doesn’t matter if you fall off the wagon as long as it can be acknowledged and then the wagon rejoined with honesty. Only too easy to be a bit ‘Catholic’ and go forth and sin in the knowledge that you will be forgiven after confession and a bit of a penance!

As for the tit song, Wonderful. Mine are disappearing, which is a bit sad. The best thing about being overweight was a decent pair of ‘fun bags’ as an old boyfriend used to call them.

Stay well everyone. Keep on keeping on. The thing I’m most scared of is starting on the slippery slope after the 8 weeks end, nibbling at the thin edge of a wedge of cake! I know that the sugar devil would be right back raging every day. Even writing about it makes me want sugar, chocolate, something sweet.

Hugs to all on the journey

Crabbycams

So so funny Canadaliz. The eggplant episode had me in tears too. Good to know ‘your Kev’ is on the mend. And you’re getting there through thick and thin. Can’t wait for tomorrow’s installment!

Stillnotstarteddumpty!

Well I’m back….

Been a bit of a full blown week! Arrived at accident and emergency on Tuesday on doctors orders and was taken straight in. Electrolytes were still very low and I had so many blood test that I resembled a pin cushion. My veins began to quit under the pressure, actually moving away at one point. Go veins!

Full mot with ecg, chest x-ray and urine check. Finally released after 5 hours on a trolley and boy did my back ache!
I couldn’t stand for more than 20 minutes for the whole of the next day.

Had to go back on the Friday to have my levels checked and I was just about the lower level limit, which I was happy with.

Now for the bad news, they insisted that while I had done well on bsd in reducing my bs levels, they insisted I start metformin at 500mg twice a day. I’m resigned to it now for a while but long term I’m determined to get rid! They also want to scan my heart, pancreas and kidneys for any damage, so I’m waiting for that to come through!

I kept more or less to the principle of bsd throughout but was forced to up my calories for a week or so, but stuck to 1400 or less. I’m gradually reducing it now and it will hit 834 today. Despite all of this I have maintained at 10lbs down since I started, so I’m happy!

I’m off work this week with a planned “staycation” and have used the time to deep clean the house. I must be mad on this weather!! I have about 8 bags of stuff to go to the charity shop which they are collecting 1st weekend in July. I haven’t had this much energy in years!!

I’m also interspersing all this activity with some much needed “me” time with massages, facials and manicures all booked in and finishing up on Saturday with a hair cut and colour. I shall be a new woman when I return to work next Monday. (Indian head massage today. Bliss!!)

Also exciting as new shorts and vests arrived from next today. UK Size 14 no less!! Well chuffed with that!

Liz, so sorry to hear of your traumatic week with the lovely Kev and I’m so glad he’s on the road to recovery. I can’t tell you how excited I am for you that you got through it all without reaching for the bottle. That’s amazing.

So, that’s my update for now. Thanks for thinking of me. I’ve often thought of you all!

Lee xx

Lee…sorry you had such a shitty time in the hospital. Hope you get the results you want soon. xxx

Hello Fabulous Peeps,
I got my tits out in public!!! And Iain you would have been proud. Let me explain! Mindful of the crap week of worry I’ve just had, a dear girlfriend called this morning to announce she was picking me up for a treat and wasn’t taking no for an answer. She would only tell me we were going to a spa and meeting a couple of her friends there. Well, I packed my size 22 black swimsuit with the modesty skirt and tummy control, donned my black stretchy pants, black top and a suitably spa appropriate Thai meditation coat. (Never been to Thailand but got it in a charity shop—it has elephants and shit and gives a whole ‘Namaste” vibe which seemed appropriate.) On the drive down she mentioned that it was a clothing optional spa for women only prompting me to remember that I hadn’t shaved my legs…..in about a week…and a half….okay….maybe two. Fuck. Like it or not, my Zen vibe was rapidly being replaced by a hairy über Earth Mother/turbo feminist possible lezzer identity.

We arrived at a rather unassuming structure downtown and were greeted by friendly, fully clothed stick insects that gave us each towels, took our orders for herbal tea concoctions and showed us to the change rooms. So far, so good—no excess flesh in sight. Given the upscale vibe of the place I would have thought that individual cubicles would have been provided to change in but no such luck. Working through my mounting panic I pulled a Wonder Woman style move (remember how Linda Carter just had to spin about 4 times and poof, she was in her red gold and blue number?). Well, leaving on my fashionably earthy knee length meditation coat, I whipped my lower half off and wiggled my sensibly black costume over my generous frame, then, in a series of dazzlingly deft moves, I had my shirt and bra off and my wobblies safely ensconced with dignity still intact. Preparing to head to the pool deck I unfolded one of the crisp white towels to discover it was more suited to the girth of a praying mantis. Noting my angst, my friend gently offered the option of a plush robe. Thank you friend.

Despite my wholly discreet changing maneuvers I had attracted the attention of a gaggle of young Japanese girls who seemed to be fascinated by my height, and possibly girth, with one of their party making creepy use of a mirrored wall to observe me from an angle that provided more detail. Now, I’m not one to stereotype but, had it not been for the numerous USE OF CAMERAS OR CELLPHONES IN THE CHANGE ROOMS IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN signs, I believe I would soon be appearing in photo albums across the land of the rising sun under the caption “Enormous Furry Godzirra Sized Woman Spotted in Rady Spa, Toronto.” Bad Lizzie.

Well, summoning what courage I could harness, I headed into the ‘waters’ area. Wait, back up, one of our party met us at the change room wherein greetings were exchanged, superficial mention of the weather, lovely surroundings, what a good idea this was etc. Okay, so back on deck I lower myself into the first of a series of pools: The Dead Sea Pool and it was glorious! Not too hot, not too cool; just Goldilocks perfect. Not being the bravest of souls I had opted to place my glasses atop my head such that everything was in soft focus and truthfully I couldn’t really see if there was any nakedness in our midst but the arrival of the last member of our party deck side confirmed that niggling query. She appeared from behind me and in one swoosh settled beside me….naked as the day she was born. Startled, I offered an owl like “Helloooooooooooo” that reverberated from the rafters. I managed a further “well, this is nice” which is lame even for me after which she thankfully picked up the chat ball and ran with it.

After finally putting my glasses on I quickly noted that there were numerous ladies displaying various bits, and further that I was the only woman fully clad, so, under the safety of the roiling waters, I lowered my straps…..BOING, BOING!! Once released, and without warning, each of my overstuffed lady orbs popped to the surface and began dancing about like dumplings in a pot of simmering
stew. It would seem that Dead Sea Salts do in fact provide buoyancy!

I spent the better part of an hour soaking in the glorious pond often struggling to say beneath the surface as the saline saturation made it hard not to float to the surface. I went on to the Epsom Salt pool that was heated to 104F and it reached my soul–just glorious! But beginning to really feel the heat I moved on to the cold plunge pool which, after giving it a test flick with my fingers was, by even the most modest description, Santa’s Pole cold. Despite an ambitious and fully submerged naked Miss Ice Cone Tits giving me words of encouragement with ‘just do it’ (….fucking NIKE) I couldn’t– but as I was still feeling the heat in my entire head I opted for bending to submerge my face which saw my tits hit the water first which, in turn, prompted the release of a string of expletives that would shock even the most foul mouthed of sailors. Clearly not suited or brave enough for the cold plunge I retreated to a lounge chair with a cold cloth for my brow having delivered the nubile titsical princess a lesson on profanity she won’t soon forget.

I did consider having a sugar scrub and massage but upon learning that all treatments are conducted naked save for wearing a paper thong, and not sure if they meant her or me, I politely declined. But seriously? A paper thong?!! My first thought was a paper cut in the depths of the forbidden canyon or worse– the nearby hamlet of Fannyville. Happy with just having “taken the waters” and celebrating my brief dalliance with partial nudity, I left the spa and I felt amazing, energized, confident, refreshed and with my undercarriage intact.

After our spa treatment we returned to my house for a fabulous meal: 2 tbsp of hummus spread in the base of a rimmed pasta bowl, topped with shredded iceberg lettuce, 100g cooked ground lamb with Greek seasoning, thin sliced red onion, diced tomato, 6 black olives, 1 Tbsp crumbled feta, 2 tbsp of tzatziki and a drizzle of oil and red wine vinegar with a sprinkle of dried oregano. Even Kev enjoyed it!

Once my girlfriend had left Kev put the kettle on and purred “so tell me all about your day and spare no details.” Bless my pervy Kev.

For me, today was confidence building and fit beautifully with my “whole Liz” approach to this path I’m on. The BSD makes me feel just so good. My blood sugars are great, I’m losing the weight that has been strangling me and equally as important–I’m off the bottle. I can’t say that booze doesn’t cross my mind or the carrot cake at the bakery at the top of the road but when I feel a weak moment manifesting I get the kettle on and gaze at my app which is tracking my weight or put on music I like or just stand by the kitchen door and gather myself, reminding the strong me deep within about the path I want to stay true to. You’ll all get old urges but I promise they will pass and new habits will replace them. I really do promise.

I started this thread as a way to invite others to join me in my cyber kitchen on the way to work for a cup of tea, or on the way home from errands, a place to drop in and trade hopes, fears and stories of successful days and some not so great. I have a lovely kitchen here in Toronto with a huge fireplace, comfy chairs, a big farm kitchen table and plenty of tea. If you’re having a day that just seems like too much struggle to bear, picture yourself dropping by for a chat. I’ll put the kettle on and all of your friends here will listen and support you as we gather around the table for a chat. We’re in this together and together we can succeed!

Much love,
Lizzie Ice Tits
xo

Oh Lord Liz, I have to go RIGHT NOW! Please, please don’t change your mind about this posting – I shall be looking forward it all day.

Iain

Read it Liz and I want to send you a bag filled with hugs. I have a funny tale too re: Naked Bike but I can’t even attempt. I know it ain’t competition but you are so superlative at catching the wonderful sense of an incident – my eyes are still moist.

Over here, we old buzzards are dropping like flies as heatwave progresses. My first week on BSD, or that’s what I’ll pretend, I lost 4 lbs.

Best wishes and much encouragement to everyone. Iain

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Iain, Do you actually read through your posts before submitting them? Do you know everyone can see them?

You say fairly agreeable things, then with the last paragraph ruin any complimentary things you have said. I think I understand what you were trying to say, but I also think you really need to wonder if anyone could take offence. Or perhaps you don’t care?

I hope you understand why I have written this.

Mary

[post removed]

Ok, I may be wrong (I often am) but I’m not super offended by the comments made by Iain (with the exception of some of the early ones for which he has apologised)

Iain is fighting the same battles we all are and is using the forum to write down his musings, in the same way we all do.

We all adore Liz’s posts. They often make my day (and everyone else’s I imagine) and he appears to have enjoyed them so much that he wants to share them.

Anyhow, that’s my tuppence worth and I hope they are taken in the spirit they are meant.

Guys, you all keep me sane and I love you for it!

Lee xx

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Iain,

I must protest at your insinuations. I don’t care that you are male, or that you are Gay….I am not defending Liz, she does not need me to do that….I was pointing out to you, that your sentences can be offensive and derogatory. You presume you know my answers, but you do not know me. I presumed you were on this forum to discuss the life changes and the diet regime we are undertaking. I am not aware of anyone making this about your gender or preferences…..”‘then why are you here?’ I’m sorry, I didn’t realise it was a female preserve!” Liz indeed has a wonderful way with words and she will no doubt answer you herself. I thought you might be open to a little advice from someone who knows that the written word can be misunderstood and that is what I was trying to impress on you. I didn’t “Don’t exaggerate the written word”…and resent your saying so.

As for Liz not being a Goddess…she is! She has taken the road of self mockery and risen above snide remarks (not necessarily from you) and making something of her life. In the process of which she is helping others…Me for one. If you wish to twist this into a lesbian intrigue…go ahead I don’t care, lesbians are people too! I have been married for 40 years to a wonderful man, and he enjoys me reading Liz’s posts as he thinks she is fantastic….is that because he is heterosexual? Do we have to bring sex into this at all?

“I do appreciate your comment, I take it on board too.” Obviously you didn’t as the paragraph with reference to “getting your knickers off” etc. Is very offensive to me, not to mention unnecessarily coarse!

I am sorry that you are so angry with the women on this forum and that you do not understand us. Many men have spent centuries trying and they never will if they are as closed minded and bitter as you are. I will not be replying to anything you wish to post about me or anyone else. You are really not worth my time.

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Just as I defend you Iain you let yourself down. You truly don’t belong on this forum. Gay, straight, male or female if you knew this stuff 40 years ago, why didn’t you just do it?

We may fail. We may not. However, we really don’t need you like a knitter around the guillotine waiting around for failure and worse, gloating in it.

I’d pity you, but don’t have the energy to waste.

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Hi Esnecca, here here or is it hear hear

Here in the far south I have missed all the drama (again!!)…the things that happen while I sleep!!

Lee hope you’re travelling OK…and everyone else…and love the solidarity despite being in the dark (pun intended as I slept through it all!!)

Liz, I could so relate to your bathing experience!! We went on a fabulous holiday to Japan last year and it was SOOO confronting going in to the communal baths….not just the bathing part, where at least you can stay submerged until you almost explode with the heat….but you are expected prior to bathing to sit fully naked on a little stool (usually in front of a mirror!!) and thoroughly clean every bit of yourself…..generally next to all those nubile slender Japanese women! (a couple thankfully had walls between, but not the majority!)…and to add insult to injury, the first hotel we stayed in gave you traditional pants and top to wear down to the baths…and they of course were tiny!!!

One place we stayed in had a small outside tub which only accommodated one person…so I tried to nab that one as often as possible…with my face in the almost zero temp the hot water was blissful!

I plan to go back one day with my planned post BSD body and enjoy EVERY minute!!

Speaking of zero temperatures, its mid-winter here and the recent Dark Mofo festival has a nude swim on the winter solstice (another aim??)…anyhoo its great weather for brisk walking, so out I go

Wishing you all a gentle day
xxx

Hi! A quick note to remind everyone that we don’t allow personal attacks or misogynist or homophobic posts on the forums. All of our posting guidelines can be found here.

If there’s an issue — which, unfoturnately, sometimes there will be – please report the post using the “report this post” link and it will come to us and we’ll take a look as soon as we can. There’s not 24/7 coverage but we do try to respond to incidents quickly.

Thank you!

Canadaliz – hope Kev is still doing well. I loved your post about your special day at the spa. How lovely that your friend arranged the special treat. What a good friend she is.

Salted caramel cake. My absolute kryptonite….
It’s sat in the fridge following visitors at the weekend. It’s taunting me. I dished it up to my dad. Twice. Didn’t even lick my fingers!! That was so hard!! Go me!

So someone on here mentioned saving as a reward. Great idea and I’m going to adopt it! Bought a really lovely savings jar that you have to smash to get at! Have decided that for every day I don’t have a drink I shall put in £2.00. By my reckoning I have to put in £70 up to and including today! Going to get the coins today. Maybe I can use it to visit my hero Canada 🇨🇦 Liz next year!!

Have a great day everyone xx

Hi Lee,

I am so lucky that I don’t have a sweet tooth….I do however enjoy my wine. It’s a good idea to see a visual representation of your hard work, so let us know how you get on. I am having a bad day today so I am trying to imagine myself with Canada Liz in her kitchen drinking tea…. Fancy a cuppa?

Mary

Great idea Mary!
To be fair I haven’t missed the booze yet BUT I’m home to Galway for the weekend in two weeks and they won’t understand not drinking! When I was back for a funeral last year I was on really strong anti biotics and couldn’t drink. Their response? “Just have a wine then”

Hmmmm

HOLY FUCKBALLS KIDS!!! I go on a tour (with my job) of the Great White North and all hell breaks loose.
Okay, so, just know that I am a sales rep for a company that provides home health care stuff to pharmacies as in “Hey Running Horse, how are you off for adult diapers?” (mostly indigenous First Nations up there.) But most of you probably don’t know the north of Canada so get on the Google, and search Cochrane–that’s where I was–patchy WIFI.
Okay, so where to begin?….Okay, so most importantly, I no longer look like an eggplant and actually have sort of a maybe waist. Now that is confirmed, Iain, WTF? We are your friends. Now, I did get a chance to briefly glance, I mean literally, briefly glance at your first post that is now removed. I was in the parking lot of the McDonalds in Timmins and really just glanced and thought of lots of things I would like to address but have since forgotten. The only one I remember was your thought of how I felt about myself. Respectfully, Iain, never assume the thoughts of others–which I think is what is getting you in hot water with your friends at my table. Let us speak for ourselves. As for me and how I feel about myself–were it not for my doctor reading me the riot act and telling me I had to make a change for my health I’d still be carrying on my merry way. I finally had a frank chat with my Kev who said he loves me for me and has no issues with the extra cuddle. He joked that it was like having a threesome…..just before I punched the bastard in the throat.
But the reference to Iain’s mention of me not feeling good about myself (I think he did anyway) got me to thinking about when I actually started feeling “big.” It was in Georgia, USA and it came in the form of an epiphany.
Having never had an epiphany before I didn’t really know what to expect but, when it happened, it was a moment of clarity unlike any before and delivered by a woman of almighty proportions clutching an aerosol can of Redi-Whip whipped cream.

It was a dark and stormy night in Georgia…okay, it wasn’t, it was in the middle of a rather sunny afternoon, but it was in Georgia– it’s just that I think dramatic atmospheric effects offer greater literary appeal particularly when relating to the delivery of an epiphany. Anyway, about my epiphany….My Kev had pulled off I-95 (American highway running north) for gas only to find a BBQ shack adjacent to the gas station. Now I don’t know about you but Kev and I are BBQ shack aficionados and, before we knew it, gentle rings of hickory smoke had wrapped themselves around us, like seductive southern lassos, and were gently pulling us towards the cholesterol and salt laden feast that would ultimately produce my epiphany.

After perusing the chalkboard Kev placed our order at the window of the shack– he was to have the beef brisket, slaw and baked beans and mine was to be the pulled pork, pork ribs combo with potato salad and cucumber/onion slices in vinegar. After some minutes, we heard: ‘KAY-A-VIN (who knew there were three syllables in ‘Kevin’?)..…Y’ALL’S FOOD IS RAY-A-DEE’ (again…who knew?) called our hostess from the order-up window in her charming southern drawl. Kev was having a chat with a fella that raced tractors (as you do) so I approached the window to retrieve our food. “AM A-GUESSING Y’ALL ‘ER KAY-A-VIN’S WAAAF” (all caps are required as nothing is quiet in the south). “I am indeed”, I replied with typically northern reserve. And with the confirmation of my being Kay-a-vin’s waaaf I was handed one almighty tray of food. As we basked in the glory that is Southern Pit BBQ I couldn’t help but notice that we were under the watchful eye of yet another, shall we say, ‘generously proportioned’ woman whose form I could make out toiling away in the shadows of the shack. Gnawing blissfully on the last succulent hickory smoked rib, our peace was shattered by the reappearance of our florid cheeked hostess at the order window. With her hair clinging to her sweaty face, teeth the colour of honey and with arms resting on the ledge beside a sign that read “I like pig butts and cannot lie” (I shit you not) she belted out to her customers scattered about on wooden benches before the shack “WE’VE JUST PULLED SOME PECAN PIES FROM THE OVEN—WHO ALL WANTS A SLAB?

In my defense, I initially declined, but pecan pie is my Kev’s kryptonite and he eagerly ordered up two ‘slabs’ as he’s not good at sharing and even parting with one bite would reduce him to the disposition of a petulant two year old. ‘YA’LL WANT WHIPPED CREAM ON YO’ PIE?” Again, I protested that I really shouldn’t…….and that’s when my epiphany was delivered.

Cutting through the hot, sweet, smoke laden humidity of the southern Georgia air came a voice from the shadows of the shack (who turned out to be the sister of the honey teeth chick): “OF COURSE SHE BE WANTIN’ WHIPPED CREAM CHILD! WE BIG WOMEN SHOULDN’T HOLD NO SHAME OF LIKIN’ CREAM ON OUR PIE! MAY THE LORD STRIKE US DOWN IF LIKIN’ CREAM’S A SIN (then looking to me–SISTA, THERE’S JUST MORE OF US FOR THE LORD TO LOVE.” (Hang on, did she just say ‘we big women’?!) And with that the gargantuan angel of truth, ambassador of my epiphany, rushed forth, an aerosol can of Redi-Whip whipped cream clutched in her ham like fist, and sprayed my pie with an unholy sized ball of Satan’s little helper, and there it was…….I was initiated into the Sisterhood of We Big Women…..and I was okay with that.

At the moment of my epiphany I actually felt my own shame, related to years of failed diets, leave my soul; Hell be damned! I was cleansed of guilt! I wanted to embrace the fleshy archangel and unite us in one humungous ball of guiltless wobbly flesh (with a combined weight of near 650lbs) but being of the north, and not given to overt public displays of affection, I offered her a smile and a delicate lift of my chin(s) to signal that I had received her celestial message. Truthfully, for a fleeting moment I celebrated my initiation into the Sisterhood of We Big Women. For years I had taken comfort and confidence in friends’ assurances that I carried my excess weight well or that I was just big boned but here it was, laid bare in the flesh so to speak—I was officially a big woman.

My Kev and I ate the pie and complimented the girls on their recipe as it truly was divine. Having returned to the highway, and some miles later, my Kev offered: “Liz…..now don’t get me wrong……and you know I love you……but when a big woman, as in ‘American big’, includes you in her definition of big women, you know you’re big.”

I know Kev was concerned about my health and was probably suffering road fatigue as we’d had 12 hours under our belt on the road and another 12 ahead but when we got to the motel that night I wasn’t sure whether to love him or punch him in the throat. He is supporting me so well through this journey and we read each and every one of your posts. Joe’s Nona Mary, take my hand, come to my kitchen and have a chat. Between us we can fight the demons, be it food or booze, and we will fight and succeed, over gallons of tea we’ll laugh, cry and pee but we’ll get to the us we want to be. Just take my hand and I’ll take each of yours. I get so much strength and inspiration from you chicks. I am so blessed to know you. And Lee–you save up those coins and you come to my home!! I extend this invitation to you all–I live in Toronto and have a cottage about 2 hours north near Parry Sound. I’ll show you a Canada you can’t even imagine! If you want the cottage it’s July/August or snow and shit weather the balance of the calendar but much love every single month for you all
Lee, Esnecca, EC, Krysia, Angela, fuck….I am so blessed. You give me strength and please accept my strength in your weak moments.
Largely Yours,
Big Lizzie

How much have I missed your posts, Liz! ‘You have a way with words’ – that phrase could have been invented for you! Love your life stories and the laughter they bring. Your lastest had me laughing out loud again – with tears streaming down my face! It’s like actually being there. Very very funny!

Congratulations on demise of eggplant and emergence of waist. Much as you liked being in the sisterhood of ‘We big Women’ I sense that is a membership you will no doubt cease membership of pretty soon.

Can I give you a bit of background on myself? In a nutshell – I did well last year – lost nearly 4 stones – then life took over. Have gained some but I have not had the motivation to to do anything about it. My motivation is finally here, all thanks to you, Liz. Tomorrow is the day! Goodbye eggplant – hello waistline (hopefully)!

Hello to everybody else too – enjoying reading all your trials and tribulations and successes too and your support for each other. This is a feel good group – only way is up! Or should I say down!

Starting tomorrowdumpty

Oh dear lord. As you all know, I have been on a staycation this week and indulging in “beautiful me” treats. Yesterday it was a 90 minute facial and today it was a manicure and my nails are now adorned with a polish called Gumdrop.(Basically an aqua blue but what a job to have? Thinking up daft names for varnish colours?!! What about eggplant purple, Big woman blue, hot bsd pink, waist not want not gin fizz??!! I think I may have found a new career…)

Anyhow, I digress. My hairdresser has been a friend of 20 years plus (he even commented on my fab legs today as I bravely wore skinny cropped leggings) I digress again!! Well I’m in for my cut and colour tomorrow and he’s only sodding remembered that it’s my birthday. I know he says, let’s have cake and prosecco when you are in tomorrow. 2.30pm is the perfect time for a sort of champagne afternoon tea. My heart ❤️ sank to my boots (well my very sparkly fit flops anyhow) Its such a lovely thought but I thought I should politely decline which I did stating that I was watching my sugar levels. Nonsense he says, it’s your birthday and you are looking fab and absolutely deserve a treat. Arrrgghh!!!

So, wish me luck ladies. Is my 21st (again) going to be my nemesis? 😱😳🎂🥂

L xxx

Oh, £66 pounds into my 🇨🇦 fund today…..

Dumptynomore,
Hello and hey, you’ve got this!!! Join us, hold my hand and we’ll do this together. We’ll have up days and down but we’ll be in this together. Well done you for investing in yourself. That’s what I’m doing! I’m really being mindful of the moments–what is the decision that I can make now that will create my tomorrow–the tomorrow that I want. Dumptynomore, invest in you–you are worth it–I am too.
Much love and support,
Liz

Hey Lee,
A birthday is the best day to value yourself–as such–DON’T POUR POISON INTO YOUR BODY—you are worth investment. You are part of a process that values “self-investing”. Every new friend you have here wants you to succeed and we’ve got your back as you’ve had mine. Ask for a sparkling water and know that you have made the best decision for you in that moment. You’ve got this Lee. Life is a journey and you are not alone. You have an army of power that is supporting you–be mindful of the now. Make decisions for you in the now.
If it helps, reach out and visualize taking my hand. I will be there and I will give you the strength you need in the moment as I am fighting the same battle. The BSD has empowered me and I am armoured with the ability to fight. Lee, together we can do this. I know this sounds like the paddling of a douche canoe (forgive me, I’m Canadian) but fuck Lee, you’ve got us–the whole gang and we’ve got you. So balls on the table–you’ll face that moment of decision–decide what’s best for you investing in your future–and decide what you can do to be the person you want to be.
Yours, Liz

Happy weekend everyone!! …and happy birthday Lee!….Liz is right…we deserve, not cake but the knowledge to be our very very best….that said, I slipped (again) last night and had a couple of glasses of wine….took me well over my 800..bugger!!

Back on track today. Woke to Kunanyi (Mt Wellington) beautifully snow capped down to about 700 metres… SO pretty looking out my window. Walk this morning was brisk to say the least! I know that those of you in the UK have been having a heat wave, so must be odd to hear me speak of snow (and thankfully walking without sweating…a pet hate!)

I’m planning to continue most of the winter in my amorphous woollies and hopefully emerge like a chrysalis in Springtime with my newly honed figure (one can hope….things are certainly getting looser).
and yes, the savings (sans last night) on wine are mounting….but aim to spend some on a massage next week

I hope you all have the best day while I’m in nod tonight!!
xxx
Erin

Forgive me bsders, for I have sinned…. went to my husbands work dinner at a fancy hotel and decided to allow myself two red wines. About 5 bottles later…! Well, that’s what it felt like this morning. 😩It was one of those events where the waiter materialises every 5 seconds and tops up your glass, disaster!! On the plus side I did pretty well st the buffet…😐
Have been desperate to get back on track, have slipped up a few times but my OH is going away for two weeks and that will let me focus without the constant temptations he strews in my path!! I feel this is my big chance to reset myself.
If it’s ok Liz I’d love to pull up a chair at your table and get that cup of tea….!

Oh, and happy birthday Lee! Wishing you strength to avoid those temptations but have a great day!

Welcome back Liz…so good to hear you again. I did enjoy my cuppa yesterday and will definitely be taking your hand.
Lee have a lovely birthday. I have taken to telling people I have found out I am allergic to alcohol and don’t have my Epi-pen with me. It may work for you.

Welcome Dumptynomore, great to meet you. Fancy getting together for a cuppa at Liz’s place?

EC…what a lovely picture you paint of Mount Wellington. I visited North Island in 2002 and fell in love with everything I saw and everyone I met. The Bay of Islands was a particular favourite of mine.

Does anyone know if we can ‘like’ a post as often there are several posts after the one we want to comment on?

Anyway, keep the faith. I have not had a very good week and have still managed to lose a pound, hey it’s one less, so I am taking it.

Love to all….Mary

Hi Inka13,

You are forgiven your “sins” and welcome to drink tea with me any time. xx

Thanks Joes Nonna, but “my” Mount Wellington is in Hobart, Tasmania….southernmost Island of Australia…so across the Tasman from the other Wellington!! (both colonial outposts with lots of sheep, but slightly different accents!) Tasmania, unlike most of Australia has a lot in common with both NZ and also Ireland….it’s a beautiful part of the world to live in (a little hard to find sufficient employment in some industries, but improving) …..and if you’re not all in Canada, there’s a big house with lots of room here for fellow BSDers now that the 5 boys have flown the coop!

…We also visited the north Island of NZ about six years ago and loved it too….in fact, that was the last time I managed to lose weight….we walked the Tongariro crossing and mistimed the bus back and literally ran (well ran/walked and stumbled!) the last 6km (fortunately downhill!!!) ….my face was beetroot red when I alighted the bus and I couldn’t speak for at least ten minutes! A couple of days later my charming OH looked at me and said “you’ve lost your bum!!”…we did get a few strange looks from passers-by who overheard!

Pretty good day for me today….onwards and upwards ….and after each transgression (not just you, Inka…believe me!) we dust ourselves off and start allover again!
love and a far southern wintry goodnight to all

Hi Liz – holding your hand and investing in me – that’ll be my mantra as of today! Can I join you (and all the other lovely ladies) for a cuppa in that gorgeous kitchen of yours? At least once a day but probably more – get the teabags in! I’ll bring the hummus and carrot sticks! I know! Not quite the same as a slice of lemon drizzle cake. Hey- ho – as you say to Lee – ‘the best way to value yourself is not to pour poison into your body’ – another great mantra. You must be a very strong person – Trying to lose weight is hard enough but you are meeting the drink thing head on too. Kudos to you, girl.

You know – the thing that comes across loud and clear from these posts and also my personal experience is this. I can ‘stick to a diet’ and make good choices – if only I could be locked in a room for the duration I would be skinny in no time. OTHER PEOPLE ARE THE PROBLEM!
Lee – You will do what is the right thing for you to do, but I know if I was in that situation it would only be the start of the slippery slope for me. When I lost weight before I got sick of people telling me I didn’t look well, don’t lose any more, a little won’t hurt…….on and on a on……. sabotage! Only indulge if you want to , not because your you are being coerced. Great advice from Liz. Either way , have a great day.

Inka13 – OH’s have a lot to answer for – mine whinges about my weight all the time then expects me to eat the junk he buys in the reduced price section – can I send him away with yours for 2 weeks while I get into the groove having ‘started’ approximately 1 hour ago! See you for that cuppa at Liz’s.

Mary – thanks for the welcome! – Loving your posts too! – See you at Liz’s every morning about 10ish for a cuppa and a blether – might have to miss the blether sometimes due to work commitments, though

EC – hoping you had a nice restful sleep and raring to go at it again when you waken!

Have a great day everyone – Liz -looking forward to the next chapter in ‘Life as per Liz’ – Actually – is anyone up for suggestions for naming Liz’s stories – which could be used as a title for her book when it is published!

Finallystarteddumpty – bring it on!

Thank you Joes Nonna! I look forward to it! Xx

Dumptynomore, I look forward to that cuppa with you too! I so agree about ‘other people’! While the onus is on us for sure, it doesn’t help to have temptation waved under our noses! As for the OH’s yes let’s pack them off and get in the groove together! Today is day one without wine (although probably not strictly true as I’m sure some of last nights massive amount is still sloshing around in there) and I’ve decided to do Dry July, starting a week early. Maybe this will help with my no ‘off’ button!😉
See you all at Liz’s xxx

Sorry EC,

Please forgive me my ignorance of Tasmanian mountains….I am pretty ignorant about a lot of the world, but I do try. We are all the same under the skin and I love that so many people from all over the world are able to share with us. Enjoy your sleep and see you tomorrow.

Mary xxxx

Hello everyone, My friend Merry sent me this article. I found it interesting; you might or might not, but it is an interesting take on how we view ourselves.
https://www.lionsroar.com/body-and-me-july-2013/?utm_source=Lion%27s+Roar+Newsletter&utm_campaign=0fb60a7f46-WR-Jun-23-2017&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_1988ee44b2-0fb60a7f46-21579877&goal=0_1988ee44b2-0fb60a7f46-21579877&mc_cid=0fb60a7f46&mc_eid=fca435fade

Hi EC, I bet you enjoyed your morning walk even though it was brisk. Up here in Orange it is also brisk but alas, no snow. Last winter it didn’t stop raining. This winter it is dry, dry, dry.

The fortnight before I started the BSD was spent in Tasmania scoping out places to retire. Can’t afford much but will keep looking for my forever home. Will certainly visit next time I’m in the vicinity. More likely to be Tasmania than Canada to meet up with other lovely BSD’ers.

Tomorrow, Sunday, I need to work, but will walk there and back, starting the next 8 weeks as I mean to go on: more exercise and, when necessary, more calories in the form of protein, pulses or veg.

Stay well and enjoy the mountain.

Hi Crabbycams,

That was an interesting piece about Body. A very powerful writer.
xx

I meant ‘Life as seen through Liz’s eyes’ from a previous post.

Hi Crabbycams – I read that article you posted. Very poignant and very true. Thank you for posting it.

Good Morning!! (well, for me anyway.) It’s Saturday morning just shy of 9am. My Kev is off at work so we were up at 5am (he works 7am-7pm), he showered/dressed then we had breakfast–thick slice of tomato topped with a thin slice of ham, grated cheese and a poached egg with a side of broccoli and a vat of tea–it being Saturday I pushed the boat out and made up a packet of Hollandaise sauce and we each had a tablespoon over our egg–fucking lush!!! After Kev left for work I went back to the pot and scarfed down another spoonful. Fearing that it would continue calling my name throughout the day I have poured it into an ice cube tray and put it in the freezer so I can just use a cube when necessary. Now, old drunk Lizzie would have been eating Hollandaise popsicles but sober Lizzie knows better…….I hope.
Anyway, just before he left he sat back down to adjust his boot. I queried “too tight?”, “nope, the lace is too long and you don’t want it on the ground as it gets into blood and stuff.” bless my superhero paramedic guy.
So there were at the table in the kitchen and I was sitting with my eyes closed. Kev said “Liz–share?” “I’m in Tasmania and I’m gazing at a snow capped mountain….” “well okay then Liz.” I shared Erin’s post and we both sat for a moment and dreamed of such a paradise. The kettle started to whistle for his thermos that he takes to work and shocked me back to reality….after filling his thermos I stood by the kitchen door while our beloved Rosie (13 year old terrier poodle mix maybe–we got her at the pound so don’t really know) had a sniff about the garden and noticed that a squirrel had shit on one of the cushions that Kev had just put out on the garden furniture. That was my morning view. Squirrel shit. Bastard needs to be shot. Squirrel not Kev.
Best wishes and much love for a grand successful day living on our terms.
Liz