Morning my lovelies ๐
well according to my scales this morning I’ve gained 1lb ๐
However I could be pre-menstrual so that could be the cause. I can’t remember when my last one was and I’m too lazy to read back lol. I was hoping to lose 2 to get to my 10% this week but I doubt it now. I still have 48 hours and I fully expect the shown gain to disappear but I doubt I’ll lose much, but there is always next week ๐ I refuse to be low about it. I have other stuff to worry about. Which reminds me that stress releases cortisol which can be damaging to those of us trying to lose weight. It will level and settle.
Last night I had a revisit from my anxiety. Worrying again about things that happened 18 months ago when my husband was ill with severe depression, suddenly feeling fearful and insecure and generally anxious. Feeling like nothing is fair (but hey nothing is really, in life fairness isn’t really a *thing*) My husband comforted me as best he could but when I feel like that nothing really works. I’m still taking my medication and trying my best to look after myself and regain my health but it still jumps up and bites me in the ass.
I still feel a bit low this morning and had a relapse of tiredness. My husband woke me getting up this morning at 0845 (not deliberately) when I looked up he said our son was up and told me the time. I asked him if he minded if I slept on and he said no and hugged me. I went back to sleep having strange dreams and woke up at 11. This is how I was at the beginning of the year, I’m not quite as low or tired as I was then but I hope it is temporary. I thought I was recovering well from my own depression but I guess I’m not quite there.
Some may think I am too open about that side of me but I think we need to talk more about these things in order to reduce the stigma that sufferers feel. I want my children to grow up knowing that depression is not weakness or failure but an illness. It can be treated and a person can recover. There needs be no fear in admitting we have it.
So back to the food and stuff. Yesterday I had two baking experiments… I made these…
https://elanaspantry.com/carrot-muffins/
I didn’t like them they were very eggy. Maybe the yacon would have helped them I don’t know I substitute some sweetner.
So, obsessed with a desire for carrot cake I then made this…
https://elanaspantry.com/carrot-cake/
It turned out great but I don’t think the rest of the family will eat any so if I try it again I will reduce it in size as unfortunately due to calorie counting much of this will end up in the bin which is a real shame ๐ I will see how well it lasts. I may try making small individual ones. or see if it freezes…Yes I think I will slice some into calorie counted portions and freeze. I do like my little experiments!
I also used this to coat our chicken for dinner.
http://lowcarbyum.com/gluten-free-coconut-flour-chicken-tenders-baked-paleo-recipe/
I made it basic without all the optional ingredients and it was nice definitely something to use again.
Thinking ahead I have only 9 days left of my 8 weeks. It sounded like a long time at the beginning but as soon as I started I could see it was going to pass quickly and it has. I was thinking of my future options. Do I want to stay on 800? in some ways yes. I know it is the fastest way to achieve. However do I want the freedom to eat a little more… yes I do. Do I want to slow my already slowish weight loss? no! I’ve loosely settled on a kind of compromise plan. I think if I can stick to 800 5 days, and allow myself 2 (or even 1) day per week when I can eat more but still staying low carb I think that could feel good to me. I may play around with it in week 9 and just see. I think even just one day per week would actually be enough. hmmm.