Thanks KrysiaD. I dont think I have your strength and determination. I tend to stick to 800c and never eat ‘bad’ carbs, I also never eat ‘good’ starchy carbs like quinoa or brown this or that. However, I dont think I go much below 40g and hardly ever above 50g. I know I should be hitting it hard and bringing the carbs right down but it is hard enough being 800c and 50g everyday of my life when most people can have a little treat. How long did you have to be really strict to get rid of the insulin. I know I can do it, I have been doing this for 3 years in June so maybe it is time to make an all out effort and see if that will help me even more. I also need a good run at it, some time without distractions like holidays. I go away in 6 weeks time so I am going to limit my carbs to 20g starting on Monday and see how that goes. I did try 20g before but found it hard to eat enough calories – any thoughts on that. It seems strange to have been doing this for 3 years and still needing help. I got my numbers right down to normal (still with some meds) and was so happy with that, but it is time to go to the next level and crack this once and for all. Thanks for your time and your kind thoughts.

Can any of you wise BSD owls help please?
After reading on here that a breathalyser can detect ketones, I bought the cheap one from Amazon as advised. I will give it a try as I could never see pink let alone purple on ketostix and I always find trying something new stimulates my enthusiasm to keep on fighting the steroids and weight gain/loss!
My questions are
What is the best time of day to blow?
What numbers should I be seeing to confirm ketosis, or is anything above o.o. a result?
Will any type of even the smallest amount of carbohydrate take me out of ketosis, eg. Chickpeas or root veg., or is there a lower level I could get away with? Always the optimist!
I have just had a 0.02 result so presume that’s a start?
Many thanks
X B

Hi Busybee,
The great thing for me about the cheap breathalyser is that you can test as often as you like during the day. – You don’t have to limit yourself to testing at a specific time, you can test at regular intervals throughout the day if you want to see patterns. Just remember to get your technique sorted so you are getting consistent results. – I tend to take in a deep breath at the start of the count down, hold it until the count down gets to 30, and then start counting down out loud so that I get the last of my breath into the machine.
It depends how deeply you are in ketosis as to how much effect any carbs have, they may simply lower how deep in ketosis you are. Also it will depend on what type of carbs they are. – Something that is going to have a rapid hit on insulin levels such as sugar is going to have more of an impact than carbs incorporated in high fibre veg which are digested slowly.
Any reading means you are in ketosis, which means your insulin levels are low, but its fun to aim for higher readings.

JGwen, thank you so much for your quick reply.
The machine I have counts down to 10, so I will take the breath and start to blow at the beginning of the count and see what happens.
At least if I am counting and testing, it will keep me from thinking of food!
X B

Hi everyone,
I’ve had a good week 3, after a down/up bounce in week 2, so I’ve now discarded 4.4 pounds this week, making my total 10.8 in three weeks, which I’m pleased with overall.
I have already learned a lot about how this WOE works with my body, and the most useful practical thing is that I now don’t have low blood sugar in the afternoons anymore, and I don’t have to worry about finding a snack at break or after school to keep me going.
Seeing old adverts like “go to work on an egg” reminds me of a very vintage diet book I skimmed through in a shop years ago – it was from the 50s I think – and it recommended reducing the amount of potatoes and bread in meals. This seemed a bit odd to me at the time because my poor impressionable mind had also embedded a picture from a health article in a magazine in the very early 00’s of a skinny model proclaiming “piles of pasta – filling not fattening” ! Seems have a lifetime of conflicting advice to discard along with the pounds.
Thanks for the reassuring comments about ketosis JGwen, it is good to know it is not as binary as I first thought, I’m only keeping an eye on it using ketostix at the moment, but the breathalyser seems an interesting piece of kit.

Hi Squizzel,
The pee sticks are not a reliable way of testing. Your body only generates excess ketones which it gets rid of in the urine in the early days of starting low carb. – After a while your body will become more efficient and not generate surplus ketones. Using a breathalyser to record the by products of ketosis is a method that you can use long term.

This is the title of the breathalyser I bought from Amazon “GREENWON Alcohol Tester, Professional Breathalyzer with Semi-conductor Sensor and LCD Display Digital Breath Alcohol Tester with 5 Mouthpieces” its an AT6000. It was less than £9 from amazon and takes 3 AAA batteries which are not supplied.

I have seen a podcast where someone compared the results from a cheap breathalyser and the expensive ketosis breath tester and the results were consistent between the two, just a big difference in price.

Thanks JGwen, off to have a look now!

Hi everyone!
Just to say we are awaiting our return flight to (hopefully ) sunny Toulouse !We have had a fabulous week in Naples and travelling to the islands . Our favourite was Procida and it’s beautiful pastel hues and wild scenery. ..no designer boutiques ! I will catch up with the thread. Have another week of school holiday left ..yippeeee !
All the very best and stay focused and positive …I understand the diabetes challenges are frustrating and admire you for your resilience and determination xx

Hello everyone. I don’t post but read everyday and so encouraged by everyone’s results. I would normally weigh in tomorrow morning but couldn’t wait. I have lost 2.1kg in 2 weeks and 1 kg before I started the bsd properly. It’s a little less than I had hoped but still beaming as I have lost 6cm on my stomach. whoo hoo. I actually measured a couple of times incase I had made a mistake. Thanks to all the experienced bsd who post such helpful information.

Hi Everyone
I’m currently conducting a study on how 5:2 diets and Very low calorie diets (less than 800kcals a day) make people feel about their lives as part of my University dissertation. If you are on one of these diets I would be extremely grateful if you could fill in the below survey – it’s really quick! Thank you
https://loughboroughssehs.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0JNDYtn1q0Zi2Pz

Looks like we have been hijacked. padegoke you would have to tell us a lot more about yourself and what and why you are interested in our thoughts about our lives.

I am exactly the same again with my weight although I am not counting that I have lost something since last Tuesday and I am going on a cruise in 6 weeks and, of course, I am vain and would like to look better in my evening dresses – plus we have a flapper’s evening – so a few pounds off would be great. As far as my weight goes I am not doing anything different, just not had any alcohol over the weekend. It is only 6 weeks away and I can easily lose 2kg. I will be looking to do my weekly menu later today and will concentrate on getting the carbs right down. First thing to go will be my evening Ryvita, although only 3.7g carbs it is still a carb and my one downfall. From now on my evening snack will be wrapped in a baby gem lettuce leaf. I dont even think I need that snack, it is more habit now (to prevent the Dawn Phenomenen cant spell), which might no longer exist as my body should be used to the low calories and it really only happens when you first go on low cal and your body doesn’t like it and pumps out glycogen during the night. I should be passed that stage. Have a good rest of your weekend, I am going for a walk now. Keep on keeping on….

I would still like some advice on how to lower my carbs without going under 800 or substituting lots of protein. I think I am back to the lettuce leaves.

Do you like avocado, Sunshine?

Hi Allie ! I will be back on the thread very soon!xx

Yes allie, but in moderation so when I do a lunch with avocado I give half to my husband. Unfortunately I usually leave them too long and, like on Friday, I cut into it and it was brown mush. My daily carbs are coming from veg sources and I have half an apple (on the Ploughmans) once a week. I am going to type everything into Sparkpeople (the resource I use) and see what is causing me to reach 50g. I have no problem getting down to 20g but, as I said, I then find I have not had enough to eat and you know what happens then – crash.

I know, sunshine! I thou9ht of avocados because they are calorie dense, and then of course the healthy fats!
I never realized that these hold up well in the refri9 when they approach bein9 ripe. I hate waste, too 🙂
If anythin9 else comes to mind, I’ll pass it alon9 to you. So much respect for what our diabetics must
contend with each day…

Allie I have a shed load of respect for you for losing so much weight and keeping it off. I wasn’t sure if you were a remission diabetic like KrysiaD and Verano, but I guess not. I think I am going to call you Ali G from now on, what is going on with your keyboard. 🙂
I have done my weekly menu with a goal of keeping to around 20g of carbs and, oh boy was it difficult. Day one 58g because I will be having Spanish chorizo and chickpea soup – guess where the carbs are from. It is in the freezer so using it up. Every other day is between 20g and 25g with another day at 48g when I have chicken, chorizo and beans – again, something that is in the freezer and needs to be used up. I was shocked when I decided to have a pork and ginger stir fry. Dr M shows the calories but not the carbs so I was inputting from scratch and the recipe says 270 calories. Input 125g of pork tenderloin – 250 calories. My total came to just under 400, not exactly a small difference. However, not many carbs so it gave me those extra calories I have been looking for, but what a shock – it could have taken me well over the 800. Most days I will be on 750 cals which means I can have a small snack if my BG goes too low. Lets see how this goes. I want my BG to go down overall so I can reduce the insulin but I dont want to have any crashes.

SG – your diet looks good and so are your carb levels.

If you would be very unhappy on 20g carbs I wouldn’t go that low. I happen to absolutely love the food I am eating so 20g carbs really works for me. My special treats are the 85% chocolate, cream in my coffee, organic raw cacao mixed with full fat greek yoghurt and sweetened with some inulin, stilton and roquefort cheeses (excuse my spelling), nuts, organic ground flaxseeds, asparagus cooked in butter, macqui berry powder mixed with my kefir with a little inulin to sweeten it and nut butters (organic) I could go on and on but it is making me hungry. So what people think of as treats are not treats for me anymore – for me they are horrible, too sweet and tasteless.

Actually these are not strictly speaking treats because they are what I eat as well as the eggs, meat, veggies etc. but as I love them so much my food is a joy.

I did the 20g carbs originally to reverse the diabetic macular oedema and retinopathy and neuropathy in my feet – not to come off the insulin (that just happened). I had done all the ‘ground work’ and lost almost all the weight with 50g carbs so when I dropped to 20g carbs the eye and foot problems were reversed and so did the need for insulin injections.

Because I had undiagnosed diabetes for a long time (probably 20 years plus) it looks that 20g carbs is my maximum. Maybe that will change. Maybe it won’t. Maybe my body will be able to tolerate more carbs in the future – I really don’t have a clue but will be happy either way.

My only worry is that my cholesterol levels will fall as it rather looks like that higher cholesterol is protective from all cause mortality as we grow older.

The lovely early Spring weather in London has reverted to type for the time of year, but I am wearing with ease my wraparound skirt. Last worn two years ago; a size 16 so not the end game – I wish I had discovered this WoE years ago. I think just a few weeks ago I posted I was nudging just to the right of the 3 in 13 on my scales, now it is the 2 in 12. So hopefully sure but steady – but we are all ourselves and as for so many on here, on many levels, this is simply working. And not feeling hungry or “deprived” in the least; and still the occasional red wine. But with roasted broccoli and salmon (with fresh pesto). I may be posting about the 1 in 11 at some point, but I just feel so much better. And tulips coming up!

You all seem to be just on the cusp of Sprin9. How lovely that must be to see spots of color appearin9 in
your 9ardens! I’m expectin9 8-9 inches of new snow overni9ht, sixturkeys. The snow shovel still remains
in the front hallway! Really 9ood to hear that this woe is provin9 to be so successful for you 🙂 It looks like
there will be quite a closetful of new clothes needed, very soon!

Thank you for the compliment, sunshine! I’ve never been diabetic, but I’m sure that that is only the result
of a family 9ene pool that has no history in it. I certainly should have been! Refer to me anytime as Ali 9..
I like it! I think you have really been makin9 pro9ress pullin9 the carbs down. We would all be overjoyed to
see the day when insulin will be a thin9 of the past for you..Your poor tummy! Ouch!!!

Hi everyone, hope you had a successful weekend. My BG is down to 5.8 today so the 25 units of insulin are starting to even out. I will be trying to go lower on carbs and done a menu for the week. This morning I was supposed to have a poached egg with grilled mushrooms at only 3g carb but noticed the strawberries in the fridge were starting to get a bit furry so had a yoghurt with strawberries and a sprinkle of chia seed. Because I have blown the carbs already for today with a Spanish chickpea and chorizo soup for lunch thought the strawberries and yoghurt wouldn’t make much of a difference. In fact they come to 10g carbs, which if you are on 20g you have used up half your allowance. I did work out that the recipe for the soup came out at 37g carbs but I always split the portions into 3 servings instead of 2 as I find it is quite a filling lunch, so probably around 25g carbs – still over the 20g allowance. I am going to give this a go for one week to see if there are any changes to my BG and I might be able to drop another unit of insulin.
Good news from my daughter, she has just started on the Fast 800. She is doing the 5:2 but the other way round as 2:5 and has lost 2.5kg in week one. The important thing is she is finding other foods to replace the pasta and potatoes SO….. I might get a meal I can eat next time I visit her (in April). When we were there she served stew and dumplings with mashed potatoes and told me it wouldn’t hurt me. All I would have asked for was a few ‘real’ veg, even out of a can or the freezer. Bless her, she had run down all her stocks and was waiting for a big delivery from Mr Tesco the next day, so I just had to grin and bear it but I only ate the meat and boiled myself an egg for later. Will be logging in again tomorrow for the weigh in – or in my case, report on whether I have kept to my weekly goals. Thanks for the help KrysiaD and AliG. Hey, we have some poetry here. All we need now is SunnyB. Dont mind me, I have a weird brain.

Doing this as a separate post. Can those who seriously count carbs tell me the difference between carbs and total carbs. For example, I looked at a tinned food that had 12.7g carbs of which 7.5 were fibre and 5.2 sugars etc. So if I ate 100g of that tin would I just count the bad carbs i.e. the 5.2 of sugars or do I count the 12.7g. I have been counting total carbs but thinking I might actually be on less than I thought.

Hi SG — regarding carb counts, you want to count “net carbs” so take the carbohydrate count for the portion you are eating and deduct the fiber count for that portion.
It is my understanding that the UK already deducts the fiber (??) but I do not know about France. Here in the US, the fiber is listed separately and you must deduct it from the carbohydrates to reach net carbs.
You do not need to do anything about the sugars — they fall into place automatically with control of the carbohydrates.
I found that once I started to go to net carbs, I wasn’t quite so desperate — I could (and do) eat plenty of above ground veg, olives, artichoke hearts (we can buy wonderful tiny marinated ones), avocado, lettuce, cabbages, parsley, cilantro, arugula, sprouts, nuts and seeds plus eggs, meats and all kinds of fats (my favorite is heavy cream in my coffee) and cheeses.
I limit yogurt because it makes me hungry and ground veg like beets, carrots and onions, although I do eat those in moderation.
Do you have a copy of Gary Taubes book “Why We Get Fat and What To Do About It”? I use the diet from that book to guide me in my low carb choices — it has been extremely useful and it parallels the BSD perfectly. I highly recommend it if you haven’t yet bought it — it is the perfect “companion volume” for the BSD.

Oh no! I just had a post disappear — I was answering your question SG! I will repost in a few minutes.

Yes – I absolutely agree with Californiagirl. In the UK the fibre is deducted so you are looking at net carbs and you ignore the sugars.

Almonds would be 22 total carbs in US so the 12.5g fibre would need to be deducted. In the UK the net carbs would be approx 9.5 as it is already minus the fibre. The packet says that of this 9.5 net carbs 4g are sugars – which you totally ignore because the sugars are included in the net carbs total of 9.5. Unfortunately I couldn’t find any info on how carbs are labelled in france.

Hi SG — you want to count “net carbs” — which might mean different things in France, UK and the US.
Here in the US, total carbohydrates are listed on the labels separately from fiber. So here we take the carbohydrates per potion and subtract the fiber per portion to get net carbs.
It is my understanding in the U.K. carbs are already listed “net” (i.e. the fiber has already been subtracted) on packaged foods, but I am not totally sure if that is the case — no doubt a UK person will let us know! An un-packaged food will still need to be adjusted for fiber.
I’m not sure about France, where you are located.
Once you get the carbohydrates sorted, the sugars automatically fall into place so just ignore the sugars.
I find that at 20-30 net carbs per day I can happily eat a full diet of fats, cream, butter, meats, fish, eggs, cheeses, almost any above ground veg, lettuces, parsley, cilantro, any greens, cabbages, cucumbers, radishes, olives, artichokes, arugula, herbs, lemons, sprouted lentils and other sprouts, garlic, nuts and seeds.
I limit carrots, onions and beets — and I don’t eat much yogurt because it makes me hungry — so just a bit now and then.
I only have fruit, usually citrus, about once a week but if I want to eat more carbs, I eat more citrus as I love oranges and mandarins.
Do you have a copy of Gary Taubes book, “Why We Get Fat and What To Do About It”? I use the food suggestions from that book as my perfect companion to the BSD — I also use Dr. Perlmutters book “Grain Brain” and I love his cookbook “Grain Brain Cookbook” too.
One thing I have noticed, as I have been on the low carb way of living now for 3 years, my body acts/feels differently on low carb and higher carb. I DO have days where I eat quite a lot of carbs (birthdays, parties, traveling) but I always go back ASAP to about 30-40 carbs per day and it is always a relief to do so.
You will quickly adjust to very low carb — it really isn’t hard once you get used to it. I know you have to be careful about blood sugar levels — it will be interesting to hear how your body responds.

Hi Californiagirl I’m just wondering are you in ”maintenance’ now and if so do you still count Cals or just carbs. I’m only a month in and quite a way to go before I can even think about maintenance but I’m very interested!
I’m halfway through Taube’s book, its fascinating, thanks for the cook book recommendation too 😊

Hello, my lovelies! Wendy has returned from holiday, but asked me to set up the new weekly thread to be9in
tomorrow. I’m happy to do so, unless someone else would like to take a turn around the dance floor?

Thank you Krysia and California. My food is all French. I am quite relieved that I dont have to count the fibre as carbs as I have been counting total and wondering why I cannot get it down further. I usually eat fresh food so as an example tonight I am having a lasagne made with beef, half an onion, 1 clove garlic, (I’ve just realised I have forgotten to put canned tomatoes in oops) anyway, half a can of tomatoes, half a red pepper, about 6 medium mushrooms and then flavourings like basil, lea & Perrins, some Marmite and that is about it except I am layering it with cabbage tonight – sometimes I use aubergine. So it is all fresh and homemade (except for the toms). My cans in France list the carbs as follows:- can of chickpeas (pois chiches) carbs per 100g – 15g of which 0.6g are sugar, 6.5g are fibre. That doesn’t add up to 15g but I guess I deduct the fibre from the 15g which leaves me with a total carb of 8.5g and not the 15g I have been using. That means I have been eating a lot less carbs than I thought. Just considering the carb count in the BSD cook book, I dont know if she is counting total carbs or just sugars. All very confusing but I know a bit more now. I have always just counted calories and then looked at the carbs after and on 800 cals i am usually under 50g although now maybe even lower.

Thanks.

Hi SG,
If you use the fat secret app on your mobile phone it works out out the final figure for carbs for you, where as the myfitnesspal app doesn’t. – Makes life much simpler using the app.

Hi Shellbob, yes I am in maintenance and I have been for over two years — I forgot to post this week, but it is the 3 year anniversary of my being on the BSD (wow time flies!!).
I still count carbs but it is so automatic now that I just eat my usual diet and they stay within a narrow range of carb counts without my paying much attention.
I, like so many here who have followed very low carb for a while, have just lost the desire to eat breads and sugars — it REALLY DOES happen, so so weird for a carb monster like I used to be — I had read about that happening in Gary Taubes book (cited above) but I didn’t really believe it would happen to me but it absolutely did and when that happens, staying low carb is
totally simple because your food choices just switch. I think it happened around the one year mark for me. Taubes talks about how some people lose the carb focus “overnight” and instantly but mine was sort of gradual until one day I just didn’t want them.
Now I walk through the grocery store and wonder why they have so much “non-food” in there — I mean really, aisles and aisles of stuff that doesn’t look like food — just bright packages of…hmmm, what?
I don’t track calories much as I have found that if I am low carb, I can eat to the point where I feel full and my weight stays the same. I am probably eating 2000 calories average per day. I still fast some days for 24 hours if I feel overfed and I like to go 18-20 hours IF between meals because it feels good to be empty and looking forward to the next meal.

Hi everyone ! Wendleg the wanderer has returned ! I am still in holiday mode and certainly not thinking about school 😉 Stocked up on provisions today and Lidl had a few Italiamo products (olive oïl, parmesan and O/H’s favourite gorgonzola) which cheered us ! I also picked up a dress for 7€.99 !! It’s surprisingly comfortable in a soft ,slightly stretchy fabric , not at all the cheapo quality you might expect and I feel quite smart in it ! . I also felt quite uplifted to fit into a Lidl size L which they say is equivalent to a Uk14/16 🙂 I would never have dared buy clothes from Lidl before but then …if it’s good enough for Heidi Klum …….
So I am grinning here !
Thanks Allie for setting up a new weekly thread. You can be sure that I will be supporting you and watching out for everyone. I have been reading the thread. I haven’t seen Verano ? Hope you are ok , V ?

Looking forward to catching up with you all xx

Well done on your 3 year anniversary California girl, that’s a great achievement 🙌
I feel my carb seeking is quite minimal already, which I am astounded at as I was a savoury carb-monster. The thing that I’m struggling most with is only drinking water for cold drinks 😪 however I have seen the positive effect it has on my weight loss so I’m sticking with it. Xxxx

The time has just flown, hasn’t it, julia? (california9irl) I just realized that I’m 3 months from my start date of
of June 2016, too! Two years in maintenance as of April 15, 2017…Did my email find it’s way to your inbox?

Hi again, forgot to say, Californiagirl, I have the Gary Taubes book but cannot get through it. Are there recipes, I will take a look tomorrow. JGwen, I am afraid I am a dinosaur, I dont have a mobile phone. I have tried using FatSecret on the computer but it doesn’t recognise many of the foods I put in so I have to input manually and that means it is my judgement or clicked on google to find the carbs. I use Sparkpeople but it gives total carbs. I am going to take it one day / week at a time and will check every food on the internet for the fibre to deduct but I am more confident that I am probably already doing around 30g carbs, just need to check.

Thanks again.

Since tomorrow starts a new thread, I’ll post about my past week here, that way all sadness and suffering is forgotten in the past as I move on to better times…

For the past seven days… It perhaps more like ten…. I haven’t been on plan. I haven’t exercised. I have just been lounging in my house, eating whatever is offered, and feeling wholeheartedly depressed. My husband and I, we have gotten to the point where we are openly talking about separation and that fast has really worn me out every time I think about it.

But last night, I was lying in bed thinking about my life and what I want, and it suddenly hit me that’s I’m dealing with this situation poorly. I can honestly say I have done nothing wrong and these issues are completely caused by my husband’s skewed thoughts on life and marriage…. So why am I allowing my happiness, my motivation, and my momentum to be chased away by him? The only thing I can do it firmly grip my desires in my hand and run after the joy that is escaping me.

So here I am, starting again. 8 weeks in bsd and an eight week fitness blender program to join with it. My goal for the next two months of to focus on me. Thank you for the encouragement Wendy and Allie. I promise to be back to my steady self soon.

Hi Amz,
I am so glad you changed your name on the forum, I think its a sign that you are beginning to value yourself and your life, which is such an important change.

I believe that a lot of us can relate to the learned coping mechanism of keeping our emotions in control when we are in a stressful situation by turning to carbs. – I do think that there is a whole aspect of self medicating with a sugar / carb rush when we are feeling down / in a bad place in our lives, which is driving the obesity crisis that maybe isn’t talked about as openly as it should be.

I know I started on this journey with the focus on loosing weight, but its been like peeling an onion. As I started to put the carb monster in the box I have realised more and more how strongly linked stress was with my eating patterns. Its like a spiral, every time you encounter an occasion where you would have turned to carbs to cheer yourself up, you now have to stop and face the fact you feel down, and with that comes an exploration of what parts of your life bring joy and sadness, and you take another step away from the sadness to the joy. It can lead to exploring alternative ways of resolving issues, but it can lead to walking away from toxic situations. – Strangely over time, if you do give in to the carb desire they don’t give you the same lift that they used to do providing its a short step off the waggon, so that’s another lock added to the box I have pushed my carb monster into.

As I have discarded my weight, I have certainly started to think about what I want to do with my life and build plans that I would have laughed at as hopeless dreaming 2 years ago because my weight was holding me back. I know that others from the forum who have had a lot to discard are also going through the same process in their own ways.

There is a tradition on the forum of joining together to dance around our kitchens to an appropriate track. – This is my anthem that I put on my car stereo on top volume and sing my heart out to when I need to. Bon Jovi, Its MY life. I could just type in the lyrics, but its the emphasis with which its song that gives the power, so I found the video for you, but I find the video distracting, I just want to listen to the music rather than watching. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vx2u5uUu3DE

AMZ !!!!! I am going to be direct again and if I am out of order just tell me .I believe you are coming to the realisation that YOUR happiness dépends on YOU and noone else. You are absolutely right to focus on your desires and not what someone else wants or expects of you. That is manipulative and damaging. I am loathe to comment on your marital situation but I do know from my own experience that life is too precious to waste on being unhappy. Remember that your husband’s behaviour says a lot about him, he is projecting his malaise onto you and it’s so much easier to blame someone else than face one’s own responsibility. That is my honest opinion.
Take the time to really consider what you want from your life Amz. Stay strong whatever you decide ( and you have showed us that you can do that) You have nothing to fear despite any perceived upheavals.

I doubt you will get back to your steady self until your mind is clear and you have faced all the scary demons but you will get there. We are always here to hold your hand and help you through. Allie will be along soon to offer her unwavering support too. At least try to write down your eating plan so you don’t turn to food for comfort. Food hasn’t got super powers remember and it can’t help for very long . You have the power to take back control over that . See you on the March thread beautiful Amz ! xx

That is a brilliant post from JGwen as usual and I am sure it will help Amz immensely. Thank you JGwen.

I LOVE that Bon Jovi track too and I am going to find it right now !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s My Life
Bon Jovi
This ain’t a song for the broken-hearted
No silent prayer for the faith-departed
I ain’t gonna be just a face in the crowd
You’re gonna hear my voice
When I shout it out loud
It’s my life
It’s now or never
I ain’t gonna live forever
I just want to live while I’m alive
(It’s my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I’m alive
It’s my life
This is for the ones who stood their ground
It’s for Tommy and Gina who never backed down
Tomorrow’s getting harder, make no mistake
Luck ain’t enough
You’ve got to make your own breaks
It’s my life
And it’s now or never
I ain’t gonna live forever
I just want to live while I’m alive
(It’s my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just…

Oh Amz I’m so sorry to read your post. I know a bit about what you’re going through and can relate very much to the comfort eating. My husband left me 3 days after our 21st wedding anniversary. It was definitely the worst time of my life. I thought I’d never be happy again and my life was over. I started drinking and all I ate was chocolate! I literally had chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner and in between too lol. I was diagnosed diabetic the following year.
It will be 9 years ago in June since he left and I’m now in a much better place,. I’ve been in a relationship for 4 and a half years now with a really lovely man. My self confidence was so low at the time that I thought no one would ever want me! But I can honestly say that I’ve never been happier than I am now.
Whatever happens Amz it will be hard on you. There’s no denying it. But you will get through it. Life will get better. Just don’t be hard on yourself and do whatever you have to do to get through it. Thinking of you x

JGwen Thank you for that song . . .AMZ . . . I havent found your posting yet but may I add something which may help right now . . . because we NEVER know who we may touch with our sharing/s 🙂 My anthem is I Will Survive – played and played while I was going through my marriage breakup 35years ago . . .(and my Family Tree website reminded me that on the 2nd MArch Ida been married 53 years! My goodness . . . Thank goodness I havent been. My lofe has been SO BLESSED and rewarded for my willingness to grab what opportunities have presented . . . made them work somehow!!!! However the eerie bit is . . . that song is one of SEVERAL which have turned up in odd ways in past days . . . ALL pointing in the one direction . . . so I MUST pay attention to the message action which seem to be needing to be played/learned/executed by me! I can relate to the dancing . . . Pom Pom practice! Today I was humming/ then singing/ had toes tapping in a shop while they played ABBA . . .(Does your mumma know your out!!! – sung in the movie by the older woman teasing the younger guy but being herself . . . 🙂 Memories of going to Canada several years ago and living on a farm for 6 months with a younger guy. That was one of my life’s highlights – I WAS ME – a carefree farmgirl – 80 miles from “town” . . . growing, preserving and preparing for the long winter.) Then later, randomly on the radio . . ? This is Me!!! – the song from the Greatest Showman! – performed by all the misfits on the circus . . . and one of the songs chosen for my grand-daughters choir at school concert just before Christmas . . . when I was at a low ebb. And then A Million Dreams . . .wow tears flowed . . . as I opened my emails after two days away rm home . . . . one arrived with a recommended listening . . . and as my Youtube is on autoplay! (I didnt realise!!!) Ive been astounded at the “appropriate” songs which have followed that. Then came a flood of memories with American Pie, (playing and I sang along to while I was in the Red Dog Saloon in Juneau Alaska where I had travelled ALONE!!!!!!! ), The Sloop John B – yes Beach Boys version BUT I was fortunate enough to be (with a travelling companion/dear friend) in a pub in Carlisle (UK) where a Welsh male choir was staying enroute to an Eisteddford. They had a few , . . and before long, gave an impromptu “concert” for those fortunate enough to still be up and awake! . . . Ive sung my heart out tonight bopped and enjoyed every memory of times when I was away from comfort zones, experiencing unique things with a gusto, unrestrained curiosity and exhuberance. All on the way to where I now find myself . . . with another personal lesson on the horizon. I needed to be reminded of the strength Ive previously mustered to get out there and “DO” – just “DO” – NOT TRY . . .to be the best I can be 🙂 FOR ME!!! Time to take time for you dear AMZ. Many friends/sisters are here for you 🙂

Dearest AmzTheBeautiful! Your post oozes positivity, and personal strength and growth. Discarding the original title . . . has own the growth and belief on yourself. The BSD plan has shown great strength and what you can do for yourself . . . . you have righted the ship, proven you can be human by a sliht diversion . . . BUT have the “return ticket” to use when re-boarding the train. Be proud AGAIN of who you are – we are all unique and walk to the beat of our drum. Im being presented with/being reminded of this life’s lesson right now . . .tested to see if I have remembered/learned properly how to deal with this corner of my life’s path 🙂 While at times it is bewildering, anxious, exciting, enlightening . . . it can also be empowering as every piece of our puzzle is discovered and out into place. Regrets, reproaching and punishment have no place . . . forgiveness, gratefulness for the experience and strength regained by the lesson DO. Taking charge of our own path . . not trying to fit on someone else is like a real footpath . . . it is isnt wide enough . . one must step aside and say THIS IS ME . . . Im Whom Im Meant to be . . . this is me. Not the person you thought I was, nor want/ed me to be an did your best to break and mold me to conform to you unreasonable and selfish purposes. 🙂 Ive been there 🙂 and when I gave myself my wings . . . it was exhilarating. God Bless and keep you positive Amz and informed to make the best decisions for yourself 🙂 Load of sisters and brothers are here to travel with you any time you need a companion 🙂 Quack Quack!

Hello everyone, Amz so sorry to hear of your troubles. I can totally empathise as I went through something similar around August Sept last year. Our family were visiting and all my husband and I did was bicker and my daughter said she was never coming to visit us again and I should leave him. It is mainly down to my husband’s behaviour but he would see it different so I wont push the point but we have been in a sexless marriage now for 12 years and it is because he says he cant be bothered, its not for him, he’s too old, the excuses go on. He wasn’t too old 12 years ago. Daughter said I should leave him and go stay with her until I got myself settled – notice I wasn’t invited to live with her. Anyway, after a lot of soul searching and talking things through – and he doesn’t like to talk about things so I had to get him somewhere he couldn’t escape like out on a walk. I put it to him that I could leave him and we could both be lonely and poor apart or we could try to be civilised and more considerate of each other and continue having our quite privileged life that we have worked so hard to get. It works by us not trying to cause an argument or pushing a point that is not that important, we try to say please and thank you for the things you automatically expect, like he makes me a coffee after lunch and I thank him. Just little things but it seems to be working. My daughter had me joining a dating site and getting myself out there and appreciated – well I doesn’t work like that when you are my age (66). She thought I was being too lenient with him but I explained that I would be 70 in 4 years and would she come and visit me in my little flat (all I could afford), would the grandsons be out shopping with or for me. Would they be looking after me if I was ill – a likely scenario for the future. No. It is working for us for now although we do have the occasional spat but life is much more peaceful. I have accepted the sex situation and he is now 74 so no chance of changing that. I am not settling, I am being realistic. We all thing everyone else is having a wonderful life but there is a lot goes on behind closed doors.

Amz, you dont say how it is panning out but I am sure you will look after yourself in all this. You have got lots of love and support here and you have your own strength of character. Take care and stay with us.

Well here is my report for today and this week. I have, without really trying, lost 1.1 lbs this week. That is a total of just a smidge under 5 lbs since 8th Jan. Slowly, slowly…. Today my BG is down to 5.2 which is perfect. Going to leave it to settle for a couple of days, also the lower carbs might bring it down further, then I will reduce the insulin a bit more. Realised that my carb intake is probably around 25g to 30g per day as I have been counting total carbs and coming up with 50g most days. If is assume I have counted 25% too much then you can count that down to 38g. Still exercising and kept up with an average of 40 mins per day. Today 30 mins aerobics (HipHopAbs with Shaun T) – and a 30 min walk with hubby – 60 mins. See you all on the next thread.

That was a very personal post, sunshine girl, and very moving. You’re right……no one knows what goes on behind closed doors.
I must say it’s admirable how you’ve tackled it and managed to save your marriage. And had all the added stress of your diabetes and insulin not to mention trying to stick to a new way of eating. I would have given up with the BSD long ago. I think I’m only managing to stick with it as I’m in a good place with my life right now so hats off to you!
And I’m sure your post will be very helpful to Amz and let her see she has different paths and options. The main thing is to do what suits you best and makes you happy. Yes by all means listen to other people’s advice but only take on board what YOU want to. You are the most important person in your life. Everyone including my mum has commented on how much I’ve changed since separation and divorce. I’m a totally different person now. But in my opinion I had no option but to change if I wanted to move on and find happiness again. Now I’m working on changing my physical appearance lol.
Good luck to both Amz and sunshine girl. You are both going through so much. Hope it all works out for you both

It is so personal for everyone. I never felt as lonely as I did than when I was still living with my ex-husband before we separated – I was completely thrown by the rejection (I also went down to a size 6…). Amz, as others have said, you need to be true to yourself, and whichever way you go, it may take time to find out exactly who “you” are, and what you want and need. I think you also have young children. It can’t be ignored that they need lots of TLC (but NOT you feeling “guilty”) – they will know their mummy is unhappy. I hope you can find a way to bring you all contentment.

Amz – like others, I empathise with your situation, with not being a stranger to destructive relationships myself, but I so admire your recognising what is happening and taking a positive stance and formulating a way forward. Thank you to both yourself and others who have shared their experiences so openly, providing great inspiration to us all. Welcome back on board Amz – I’m sure you will make great strides in the next eight weeks.

I’m rounding out the week one pound up on last Tuesday, which given I had a very social w/e including alcohol and higher than usual carbs, I have to say I’m heartened it was only one pound. Still just a smidge under target weight and happy to be there, so it’s back to the routine and hopefully a better result next Tuesday. Will look forward to seeing everyone on the new weekly thread.

Confess I haven’t read all the posts closely, but to those reporting a discard, well done and a pat on the back and to those staying the same or gaining, commiserations – but let’s make this coming week count.

I can truly feel the support for Amz and Sunshine pouring from the screen. Sending much love to everyone from one who has walked that road too. I too can say being true to yourself is the only way. Things have a way of working out 💖