New life choice for determined alcoholic

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  • posted by Joes Nonna
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    Hi Alli. Basically there are more Germans than Brits. The signs are written first in German, then Spanish then English. I am not typical of many English speaking people who expect other countries to speak English first. I have a smattering of German, Spanish and French and enjoy using them. Also, the Germans demand a higher standard of service, which they get. I enjoy meeting people of all nations and have always found the Germans to be very friendly and welcoming.

    See you when I get back. Take care.

    Love
    Nonna Mary
    xxx

  • posted by alliecat
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    Thank you, Mary! I enjoy using my limited French, Spanish and Italian when I’m out of the country too. At least
    I can always feed myself 🙂 Best to you and Jovis. Have the time of your lives! I look forward to hearing of
    your adventures when you return. Safe passage!

    Allie

  • posted by Leeleecheechee
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    Hey girls.
    Just thought I’d say hello after getting back from Ireland. How is everyone?
    I’m getting ready to do another cycle of BSD. Think I need the reboot most definitely! Can’t decide whether to give up breakfast or keep 3 meals and have smaller ones. I used to be able to fast easily but now find I get very hungry if I don’t have sustenance in the morning. Also wondering if I will be able to keep up my exercise….
    First world dilemmas eh?

    L x

  • posted by Joes Nonna
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    HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIZZIE.

    Please let us know how you are….also Hello66….how are you now?

    Miss you both.

    Sending lots of love.
    Nonna Mary

  • posted by alliecat
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    Kazzi and I miss you out on forums, Nonna Mary! We had a 2 1/2hr. skype marathon on sat., and we both
    commented on it. How are you doing, post holiday?

    xx
    Allie

    love to Leelee, too!

  • posted by Joes Nonna
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    Fine and dandy thank you for asking Allie. I just lurk on the forum now. Stay well.

    Nonna Mary
    xxx

  • posted by alliecat
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    Good to know that you are still with us in spirit, Mary, even if you’re taking a break from posting. I’m delighted
    to hear that you’re well, too! Are you keeping up with the yoga, or is it just too hot? Best to Jovis, as well 🙂

  • posted by Hello 66
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    Nonna Mary Hello66 saying Hello , and thank you for wondering about me , I’m still upright , have had some difficult months not only with my health issues , but my ‘ better half ‘ .
    Diagnosed with AAA , abdominal aortic ANEURISMS , 2 of which at risk of rupture , no chance of survival if that occurred , very challenging op. , a warning from Vascular surgeon , operating may also prove fatal …..
    A 6 hour operation to repair was successful , a few days ICU , high fevers , cardiac arrhythmias etc .etc., home to recuperate a week later feeling very grateful to the Surgeon / Anaesthetist & top class Nursing Staff !
    He is still battling the pain of intermittent claudication after a very distance walking , and abdominal discomfort after sitting for any length of time , hope these will abate with time !
    You also wondered about Canada Liz Mary , I do also , and hope & Pray she is doing o.k. on her Cancer journey !
    It’s a shock to the system to be given this diagnosis I have to admit , especially when you are told by the Oncolgist on more than one occasion that when the cancer returns , it will be terminal !
    That being said , as far as I’m concerned I will do the best I can to enjoy what I can with my precious hubby , family and friends until that happens !
    Do hope this finds you and Jovis and your little Grandies well , and you are happy with your weight Nonna Mary ..
    Just thinking of Allie , hope all is well in her part of the World , can’t think of any other names at this moment .
    Love and hugs ,
    Hello66 ❤️

  • posted by Joes Nonna
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    Hello66,

    Thank you so much for letting me know how you are. OH EM EFFING GEE you have really been through it this last year. As if you didn’t have enough to worry about, your other half goes and gets ill too! You have had enough tragedy in your life and I am praying and sending love and best wishes for a change in your circumstances FOR THE BETTER.

    Having good family and friends is important for a good life. As you know I am blessed with mine and I give thanks every day (usually more than once). My lovely boy started school yesterday…he is 4 years and 7 days old. Yet so grown up! I used to babysit my lovely Noodle every Thursday and Friday morning so her mother can work. However, two weeks ago I felt rough. By the time her mum picked her up I felt very sick. By 6 pm I was in hospital with a suspected heart attack. After numerous investigations I was diagnosed with Takotsubo Cardio Myopathy. Frivolously called “broken heart syndrome.” There may be lasting damage, but we have to wait to see. In any case it is nothing compared to what you and yours have gone through!

    I know Lizzie has been very sick as I badger her with emails every few weeks. It is not for me to tell everyone the details, but she is quite ill, but still fighting. I wish I had her strength.

    My weight is still coming off slowly. I had got to 13 stone 8 pounds before my attack, but the only food in hospital was carb laden and the sitting around (resting) has meant I have gained 4 pounds. However, I am back on intermittent fasting, so hoping to lose that soon.

    I am so thankful for everyone and everything including you for remembering me. I lurk on the forums now rather than posting a lot.

    Lots of love and healing cuddles to you and all you treasure.

    Love
    Nonna Mary
    xxxx

  • posted by alliecat
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    Oh Hello66, my heart skipped a beat when I noticed your post earlier this morning! You’ve been through
    the almost unimaginable this past year, and it’s so very good to hear from you 🙂 I’ve sent silent prayers
    to you so often…Are you recovered? VERY sorry to hear about your husband’s health status, too. I live
    with the same sort of ticking time bomb, so every day we spend together is a gift! I get so much strength
    from the friends that I’ve met on the forum. This thread gets little traffic, but KazzUK and I are very active
    on others. I would love to see you over on “Positive Thoughts Thread Anyone?” You made such an
    impression on me last Summer when I joined the community, and it would be wonderful to have you
    back with us, if you’re feeling up to it! xoxo

    Allie

  • posted by Hello 66
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    My dear Nonna Mary , so this is why you have come to mind in recent weeks , & I was feeling the need to come over and make contact , it was because you were indeed ailing too !
    I do hope and pray there’s no lasting damage to your heart from the sudden episode of this Syndrome ,very frightening until an acute heart attack was ruled out !
    I guess you will just have to take things quietly for another week or two , and then perhaps have an echo to ensure your heart has returned to normal , and is pumping properly once again , & you’re not left with any ongoing cardiac issues . 🙏🙏🙏
    Have they ascertained what the trigger was that may have caused this syndrome ?
    So many possible causes !
    I know what you mean about Hospital food , my darling is Type 2 diet controller Diabetic , breakfast choices fruit juice , fruit yoghurt , TINNED fruit , & boxes of cereal and toast and jam , and honey , no eggs for a low carb choose , all high carb ., and that was just breakfast . Pies with pastry , pasta dishes , dishes with white rice were common place most other meals , I wondered how it would be if he was a Type 1 trying to work out carb . portions and Insulin doses , hopeless !
    Glad to hear that you’ve done so well with your weight loss , those few pounds gained will soon disappear as you become more active again 😊
    So sorry to hear our Lizzie has her health issues and is quite unwell , tell her I send my love and prayers and know she will still be battling on whatever challenges she is facing , because she’s got that bit of inner grit , she’s certainly not one to give up the fight !
    Let’s link arms , and take it slowly , and go have a cup of tea with Lizzie , do hope we cheer her up ❣️
    Lovely to hear from you Nonna Mary , I will have to ‘ lurk ‘ again soon to check on your well being .
    Until then love and blessings , Hello66 ❤️❌🤗

  • posted by Hello 66
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    Dear Allie , so good to hear from you today as well , thank you for your silent prayers , certainly some have been answered since this cancer journey began , and yes it’s been a long hard road to travel over this past nine months or so but who’s counting ?! You ask if I’ve recovered , well I have from my 2 big operations , but I’m left with horrid ongoing bowel issues due to damage from the chemo , bouts of dreadful abdo pain , and a persistent hacking cough just to mention a few … glad to say my hair has started to grow quite well , I must say I didn’t enjoy the bald look .
    I’m still having ongoing physio for balance , but I’ve ditched the 4 wheel walker , and getting around quite well now , and so grateful I’ve well enough to support my darling pre and post op .
    We certainly have to make the most of time shared together Allie , we never know when it may be taken from us do we ?
    My future is uncertain as the stinkin cancer had spread to lymph nodes as I think I mentioned before , and because my Oncologist pulled the plug on my having more chemo due to my life threatening reactions , he has assured me that when the cancer returns it will be terminal !
    Not if , when !
    Thanks for mentioning the other forum you and Kaz are on Allie , a positive thoughts forum sounds good , has not always been easy to have positive thoughts in recent months I must admit , my IPad battery is out , this iPhone is about to go flat too , 5% charge only left .
    I’ll try and drop in and check out the other forum in the next day or two Allie , until then love and Blessings , it’s 💤💤💤💤💤land for me , it’s past my bedtime , 1:10 a.m. so it’s Goodnight from Hello66 ❣️🤗❌

  • posted by KazzUK
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    Hello66 and Nonna Mary – you pair have given me a fright!

    Hello66 – I am really sorry to read about what you and your husband have been through over the last few months. It is quite upsetting and sobering and I really hope that your treatment will have kicked the C into touch. I will also say a few prayers for you. Allie and I skype regularly and we often wonder how our old friends are keeping – friends from this thread, our “home” thread where we first met just over a year ago. I wish I could tell you that in the last 12 months, I’d lost 10 stone, but it would be a lie. I’ve faffed around all this year so far gaining and losing the same 5 lbs. I’m currently around 15 stone 11 lbs and the urge and desperation is spurring me on for a good push to the end of the year, so I won’t have wasted ALL of it! So, stay out of hospital seems to be the thing to aim for, cos if nothing else, the diet will see you off! Nightmare! So lovely to hear from you, Hello66, and I truly hope you and your darling husband enjoy life to the full once you both have your strength back. Sending you cyber hugs ((((((()))))))), xxx

    Nonna Mary – you too, I really hope this is just one of life’s unexplained blips and doesn’t turn in to anything else! You’ve come such a long way and that is fantastic, to have reached 13.8! I remember early this year we were both around the weight that I still am! You put me to shame! But seriously, I am very relieved to read that you are on the mend. I hope Jovis is well and the rest of your family? How’s the son in law? Behaving himself I hope! 🙂 Love to you too, Mary, and take care of yourself and let other take care of you too! xxxxxx
    Kazzeexx

  • posted by Violinist
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    To CanadaLiz,
    I so hope you get this message. I have been reading your replies and just love the way you write. I haven’t laughed and cried that much in forever. Please tell us you are doing okay and that Kev is okay.

    Catherine

  • posted by alliecat
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    Oh Cat! You’ve stumbled onto a thread that hasn’t seen any activity in over a year. Both Canadaliz and Hello66 have
    very serious health problems, and we’d like to know how they are doing, too. Nothing at all wrong with reading and
    enjoying old threads, though 🙂

  • posted by Violinist
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    Hi Allie, yes, I know it is old. She made me laugh so much I just had to try to see if she is still out there. So tragic

  • posted by Canadaliz
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    Hey All, Canadaliz here.
    Well, what a crazy journey it’s been. First in January 2018 it was breast cancer then August 2018 I had liver failure from the treatment for the cancer. On the plus side I”ve lost 100lbs….the hard way. And now to top it all off Mum died this morning. She was 88 and it was time but you are never ready to lose your Mum. I am an only child and it was just me and Mum at the end. My Kev has just had a hip replacement and was home. When she passed I felt a sudden panic and overwhelming sadness. The nurse came and pronounced her. An hour later the undertakers came for her and I wanted to follow her down the hall and to the car but my legs were so weak. I instantly drew on the strength of the good friends I met here recalling how, in my weak moments, I would envision linking arms with you all marking strong, supporting each other. Sitting in that room, having just lost my Mum, overwhelmed with fear and heartbreak, I called out to you here on this site where my journey began and you rallied with me. You were there for me. We linked arms and you supported me as I followed my Mum slowly down the hall. You all stood with reverence supporting me as they put her in the car and you stood with me as I was left alone in the parking lot wondering what to do.
    I am going to take a few days to catch my breath and heal. I will grieve and I will cry but I’ll be back as it is time to rebuild. I’ll see you all soon.
    Much love to my sisters in arms, Liz

  • posted by alliecat
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    So great to hear from you, Liz. You have been fighting the good fight. 🙂 Losing 100lbs, the hard way is quite spectacular!
    You must feel like a completely different person! I’m confused though. You wrote on Aug 22, 2017 that you buried your
    Mum that morning. What have I missed?

    Allie

  • posted by Canadaliz
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    Hey Friends, I should apologize for making an excuse to eat. I said I was power eating my way through today as I’ve lost Mum. I shouldn’t. I should face what has been a long trial. I am still not drinking and should not make any excuses for over eating. I don’t want to get back to the weight I was. I am now focusing on rebuilding from the bottom up. I’ve just turned 56, no more parents, two healthy adult sons, a wonderful husband with a new hip, three great dogs, a beautiful home and a new lease on life having had breast cancer that had not spread. The liver failure was a kick in the gut but I am holding my own. Worst comes to worst both sons are a match for a live liver transplant but we pray it doesn’t come to that. I cannot drink and have to maintain a healthy weight–it is serious now. I don’t have a choice. I pray you learn from me as I went into breast cancer obese. Technically grade 3 obese. More an more women are going into BC treatment obese and some of the treatments, including Tamoxifen are hepatotoxic and can both cause and/or exacerbate a fatty liver. I had a mildly fatty liver and the drugs just rushed me to stage 4 cirrhosis. Don’t be me. while you have a choice lose weight and be the boss of your health. No excuses. I have just lost a woman that loved me like her own but can’t make grief an excuse to eat. I’m sorry I posted that I did. I could edit it out but I’d rather address it with you and apologize.
    Let’s get and stay healthy together.
    Tomorrow is another day. I’m aiming for lovely crunchy red pepper and some hummus, maybe some shrimp on a bed of shredded lettuce, and gallons of cucumber water.
    I can’t believe the last few years. I used to laugh at my greatest challenge which was losing weight. I’ve endured cancer, loss, near death, more loss, we’ve sold our house and are moving to another town north of Toronto on the 26th of July. I hope that’s it for me. Life, go pick on someone else.
    Cheers, Liz

  • posted by Canadaliz
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    Mum and stepmom. Both loved, adored and cherished.

  • posted by Canadaliz
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    I’m on a mission now. Okay, I’m an alcoholic which increases my risk for breast cancer. I was obese, which raised my risk for breast cancer. My cancer was what’s called ER PR + which means it feeds off of estrogen and progestogen but primarily estrogen. I now take Letrozole which shuts down my estrogen and theoretically starves the cancer and reduces the risk of recurrence. Now, at my age–56 and post menopausal, most of the estrogen in my body is stored in fat cells. When I initially went on the BSD I would have flooded my system with estrogen as I burned fat. There is a theory that radical dieting can feed a dormant cancer. I in no way want to scare you or discourage you from continuing your quest for a healthy weight but I would encourage you to have a mammogram AND and ultrasound just to get a baseline of your breast tissue if you are losing a significant amount of weight in a condensed period of time. Because my tumour was a fast growing one and the fact that I have dense breast tissue, my 2.5cm tumour did not show up on the mammogram but lit up the ultrasound.
    I know a number of women that have also had gallbladder issues with rapid weight loss. On that I would suggest that you get a liver ultrasound to check for fatty liver. The number one cause of cirrhosis of the liver is now NAFLD–Non-alcoholic fatty liver disease.
    We are amazing as we have all decided to take control of our health but that control extends to health monitoring. I should have had a mammogram at 50 and didn’t. I waited until I was 54 and Kev found a lump as we were tucking into bed. If I’d gone earlier we may have caught it ‘in situ’ meaning before it ruptured beyond the duct.
    Please, don’t be Liz. Stay on top of your health.
    I’ve had a couple of years of repeated kicks to the lady balls. From disease to death to a couple of heartbreaks to a major move but I’m still not drinking. I’m not going to make grief an excuse to eat. As I said in the post above I’m going to be the boss of my future. I don’t know what my future holds for me but I’m going to make sure I face it as the healthiest Liz I can manage. I went into breast cancer obese and with a fatty liver. No more. I may well face cancer again but this time I’m going to do it stronger from the start.
    It’s funny, I went into my closet to dig out my black dress for the funeral and it is a size 22 and I am now a 12. I’m not going to buy new so I’ll wear a navy outfit that is just fine for the occasion, the skirt of which is elastic so it will just be a bit fuller.
    Right chick army. We’ve got this. We are in control. The future may dish up out some shit but we’ll dish it right back as we will be in the best shape possible.
    Much love, Liz

  • posted by deleted_account
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    Much love back at you, Liz.

    From early childhood we should be taught to value our health and nurture our amazing bodies, yet so many of us take them for granted and abuse them until something awful happens, the needle scratches off the record, in the silence that follows you have time to reflect.

    I’ve been relatively lucky with only infertility and advanced gum disease; onwards and upwards I march with my gorgeous adopted child and (slightly horsey) porcelain teeth, but without my bad habits and poor choices and a good few stones. I treat us all now to the healthful nutrition and active lifestyle I should perhaps always have followed.

    Still, may we all carefully treasure our wonderful bodies and love our wonderful selves and fight on. You’ve been a great inspiration to me, Liz, your strength is astonishing. Your army continues to fight.

  • posted by caronl
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    Lovely to see you posting, Liz. And fantastic to see your courage and attitude are undimmed. Very best wishes to you for your house move. So that means no more meetings at the lake???

  • posted by alliecat
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    What a gift in your life, Liz, to have 2 Mum’s! My Mother died 5 weeks after a massive stroke too, and I’m sure that
    I shared the story with you at the time, but I can’t recall if you responded. I know it’s a traumatic event in our lives.
    You will find your way through the grief, because we really have no choice…it’s what our mum’s would want us to do 🙂

    Allie

  • posted by Violinist
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    Hi Liz,
    I am a new user last year of this forum. I was searching for comments on alcohol the other day and ran across your very funny, old comments. That is when I came looking for you. Thank you so much for your sense of humor in giving up alcohol and especially for the comment “I have future plans for myself and they don’t include you, alcohol!” hahahaha

    Cat

  • posted by Canadaliz
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    Hello! Our new home is a house nestled in 60 acres of forest with a lovely pool and two ponds so there will be lots of nature bathing!
    Cheers, Liz

  • posted by alliecat
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    Caron, how ARE you, Cutie? You fly around from thread to thread as I do, so I never know where I will find you! We are
    bonded in our appreciation of nature and art, so I always enjoy your posts. I’ve recently been receiving a lot of photos
    from Duckie in Australia. The cockatoos and parrots in her garden are spellbinding! I’ve only seen these things in an
    aviary…Not to mention kangaroos and marsupials in all sizes from 1 ft tall, to 6 feet! Hoping to see a koala bear soon,
    too! I hope that you are having an amazing summer 🙂

  • posted by Canadaliz
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    Cat, I gave up alcohol and feel amazing. I can’t say it’s easy and it is often a daily choice but now my decision is a matter of life and death. As I went through the transplant clinic for evaluation I met some tragic folk who just couldn’t stop drinking. Many are so affected by the disease of addiction that they just can’t stop and ultimately die. The stat on alcohol and transplant is 61% of alcoholic liver recipients go back to drinking within 6 months of transplant. I have been able to stop but the support I received on this forum was a massive part of my success. Knowing there are others out there in a similar boat was so helpful. On the 18th I fly to Vancouver to attend an engagement party for my son and his fiancé. Now, you know I was obese and an alcoholic and the tendency on both fronts is still a part of the new thin me. That being said the hostess, who is the fiancé’s step-mum is Greek……my nemesis. In the presence of Greek food I morph into a giant vacuum. Feta SWIIIIIIISH. Lamb kabob SWIIIIIIIISH. Grilled pita bread dipped in tzatziki SWIIIIIIIISH. Hummus SWIIIIIIIISH. Let to my own devices I would have the buffet table cleared within minutes. Don’t even start me on the desserts. On top of that it is an open bar. And there will be stress…..it is hosted by the step mum but the mum will be there, both step and natural grandparents who loathe each other, and the father who is a fall down alcoholic. They want me to ‘sort of try and support him and get him not to drink too much.” Really?……asshats. If you like I can breathe clear air and fart rainbows too.
    So sure, I’m walking into a test but I can do it. I’ll call upon the brave women I’ve met here and talk to them in my head. I can face this but it they break out the baklava I’m fucked. Hey, I’m only human. 🙂
    Much love, Opa! Liz

  • posted by sixturkeys
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    Liz, I too am a recent-ish joiner on here (from January) and it was reading your posts which spurred me on to join! I have roared with laughter, and think I described you in a very early post as as funny as James Thurber. The trip to the beautician; the purchase of ladies’ perquisites at the petrol station; the power walking; the spa/swimming pool. I also saw the later posts, which saddened me, but it is a real fillip to see you back! And more inspiration! All best to you!

  • posted by alliecat
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    Nonna Mary, are you still reading along on this thread that has gone quiet for ages? I know that you are a member in
    good standing of Liz’s army, and it would be wonderful to hear from you! I’m still hanging about, 2 years into maintenance,
    and the 140lbs. I discarded are still GONE. I met Kazz 2 years ago, when I met yo!. The exciting news is that she has secured
    a passport, and is crossing the pond to spend a week with us in October!. I’m so excited 🙂 🙂 🙂

  • posted by Violinist
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    Liz, I hope you stay a while on this forum as you are such a wonderful writer and do inspire me so much! My story is that hubby and I met 24 years ago thru wining and dining – very romantic. I never had alcohol accept at weddings and some family get togethers. Hubby and I both worked and only had wine (which we made at home by the gallons) Friday and Saturday nights – a bottle. Then about 2010 we started having a bourbon or wine, not both most every night. Our jobs were very stressful and coming home to a before dinner drink was nice. Anyway, now it has morphed to a manhattan before dinner and wine at dinner. I am truly stopping my part in this and saying things to him like “I will be the good example and when you see my 5’4” frame go from 170 to 130 and sleeping well, you will want to follow”. But it is hard, for sure. I can say we never had more than that any night and hardly any less. Neither one of us have any severe medical issues but I am guessing my blood pressure and cholesteral could improve, of course I am 63 and he is 73.

    You inspire me, thank you

    Cat!

  • posted by Canadaliz
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    Cat, You’re the boss of the choice you make. Now, on the surface it sounds trite but man oh man I find that so massive in where I find motivation. I get such a rush knowing that I am making a choice and following through. I see urges and cravings as interlopers, enemies even and I crush them with choice. Going through everything I’ve faced in the last while has been hard but I’ve done it without booze so it can be done. As I speak Kev is working his way through a bottle of wine as he now fears losing his parents, both in their eighties. I pointed out that we can all find excuses–grief, boredom, stress, like the taste, want a buzz, anxiety–fuck, we’d be here all day if I listed the reasons I could find to drink but ultimately it comes down to choice. I like the power that choice gives me. We can’t control everything that happens in our lives but we sure can control the choices we make on diet and booze. Even friendships are a matter of choice. Surround yourself with only those that enrich you in some way or compliment your personality and dump the drainers. I’ve done a good amount of housekeeping and am better for it. I could never make the choice to have one drink–it was a bottle or nothing. Everyone is different. I put effort into flavoured waters like cucumber, strawberry etc. and visualized them washing away the stress of the day. Hey, whatever works right?
    Yours, Power hungry Liz

  • posted by caronl
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    Hi Allie, Thank you for the message – and being called Cutie. It always makes me smile. Yes I am still here, “thread surfing” as usual. All is well. Still in my healthy BMI, though I am having to work hard to regain wriggle room. So I suppose Judicious July is my spiritual home at the moment. We are looking forward to a lovely summer at home – guests now and again – and (gulp!) a labrador pup that arrives a week today. We are now preparing the house/rugs/garden/electrical wiring/shoe rack….. for a canine flurry/explosion. Hope you have a lovely summer too. X

  • posted by Anonymous
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    Oh liz, you star, how wonderful to read your words again…you have been sorely missed

    Life has been giving you a hammering but true north liz has hammered right back and is here stronger, sadder, wiser. Mums dying, cancer and house clearing..further unwelcome steps in joining the grown ups..but you are right, the strong band of women are right there with you, holding tight and having your back just as you have held ours.

    It may not have been the easiest way to join the 100 club..but you are there and deserve a club seat with your name on it. Good luck with all the ceremonials of the circuit of life coming your way..and a small square of feta, with a kebab and some hummus arent the worst choices you could make…your boss choice is still keeping off the alcohol..you done great girl!
    Thinking of kev too..and hip hop com8ng his way (physio!)
    Atb and thinking of you
    T57

  • posted by Luvtcook
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    Liz, that post is worth printing off securing with a magnet to the front of the frig. You have sucked the power right out of temptation and used it to enhance yours. And you are so right about the choices we make in friends. Some strengthen us and some erode us. Choose strength. Associate with those that make us better. Wonderful post. Thank you.

  • posted by Violinist
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    Liz, thank you!

  • posted by Joes Nonna
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    I am writing on here to resurrect this thread. I have been reading through the posts and it seems clear that many people are in need of support to stop using Satan’s piss as a crutch.

    My heart attack last year has left a little damage but it is being monitored so all I can do is live my life as well as I can. Having said that…I have been imbibing far more recently. I have also allowed the dreaded carbs back too much into my life. I have gained 2 stone (28 pounds) since my heart attack…most of it since February. Gather around and I will tell you a story…

    As some of you know…wicked people marry good people. They then try to bend them to their evil ways. Such was my son in law. A well spoken but ignorant bastard who was never grateful for anything done for him, jealous of his own children, belittling of my daughter and just an out and out ARSE! My daughter finally saw the light after two incidents…the first happened one Saturday when said Arse was taking my lovely grandson to swimming lessons. Grandson didn’t want to go….his father stripped him naked whilst he cried and begged him not too! When my lovely boy challenged his father and asked why he did it…he replied that he didn’t and walked off. GASLIGHTING it is called. Two weeks later, my lovely boy (who is an early riser and was four and a half at the time), wanted to get up. The ARSE picked him up and shook him then threw him on the bed like a rag doll. That day my boy told me what happened and I threatened my daughter that she had to do something. She did. She told him it was over and that he had to leave and that if he didn’t she would. He could live with his dad (just around the corner) and come back daily to see the kids. He agreed. Then two days later sent an aggressive email saying he was coming back as it was “his” house. She came to stay with me, bringing the children with her. And here they still are. He didn’t try to find out where she was or ask about the children for 3 weeks. Even then he didn’t ask about the kids. The divorce is going through. He has a Court Order against him which means he sees the kids for 2 hours at a special centre. He is suing for joint custody….has changed the locks on the house…emptied the children’s saving accounts, is playing mind games with the kids…promising them things then not following through. But always with the proviso…they can have it when they go back to the family home. Part of the court order is that he doesn’t discuss adult things with the kids. He still does by talking about trying to get custody and that he is so lonely without them.
    We are waiting for an investigation by Children’s services into his fitness to see the children or indeed get custody. You can imagine the stress I am under. My house was ready for sale and now has small handprints everywhere, it is never tidy or quiet. On top of that neither child stays asleep all night, so I am often woken several times. Having said all of the above (and trust me there is more) I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HAVING MY GRANDIES LIVING WITH ME AND CO-PARENT WITH MY DAUGHTER. They are stable and love being here with me…my lovely boy had no present from his sperm donor, but the girl got an empty Pinata…A BLOODY EMPTY PINATA FOR A 3 YEAR OLD!!

    That’s enough for now. I will release more details if/when something crops up. Like the fact he cancelled his meeting with the kids saying he was going on a parenting course. We checked…there was no parenting course and anyway, if you only saw your kids for 2 hours a week would you do a course instead? We are pretty sure he was at the Tour of Britain road race final. He had cancelled previously when the Tour de France was on.

    Whilst on holiday in May, my lovely Jovis had another memory loss. He is awaiting an MRI to see if there is any damage or dementia showing. Doctor is confident it was a virus though. Fingers crossed. My other lovely daughter gave birth to another girl in April this year. So Noodle has a sister. They are still in dire financial straits. A good thing is we have reduced our mortgage really well by paying more than we need to. It will still take 2 more years to pay it off though.

    So any of the old gang who feels like saying hello, please do. I will be posting on here, hopefully quite often. Does anyone know how Happykangaroo is? Hello66 and all the others I hope to hear from you soon.

    Sorry for the rant but believe me I have shortened the story.

    That’s all for now. Take care everyone and remember to keep smiling!

  • posted by EC
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    oh my goodness….how did I miss the posts on this thread earlier in the year!!!

    SO good to “hear” your voices, Mary and Liz!! -I actually decided to rejoin the forum a few months ago (after watching a fair bit of weight creep back) and couldn’t find this thread, so joined a weekly one-another bunch of gorgeous people, but I’ve never stopped wondering how, in particular, you two (and many other great women-including Allie and Luvtcook I remember from the past) are getting on !!

    Mary , so sorry to hear about your CVA and also the dramas with THAT SIL….I still remember all your earlier anxieties and frustrations about him, so glad that hopefully some resolution may be coming.=so hard to beleive that some men can be so cruel and selfish (esp when we are lucky enough to know some good ones) Thank goodness that they have your support!!
    Love to you and all your lucky (to have you) family-hopefully Jovis’ prognosis is OK and that your lovely family continues to grow

    Liz…I’m sorry that your liver has also jacked up on you, but very glad that the BC is in remission(I actually remembered that you’d given us your email years ago and started to write….but was anxious about invading your privacy when you’d been so unwell…)
    ….and would you believe-I’m leaving for Canada tomorrow for three weeks!!
    Only to the maritimes (PEI and Nova Scotia/CBI) so unless you’re planning a trip east…..
    So glad that you also have a brilliant family and Kev on your side…may your health keep up with your good self!-mind you I see that you haven’t posted since July, so maybe I’ll have to send that email anyway! 🙂

    Otherwise….we are still in beautiful Tasmania-early Spring here and the ornamental cherry is in full blossom…and (maybe) the last of the snow has melted. Spring veg planted and all the fruit trees showing promise of a good harvest (possums permitting!)

    family are all fine-eldest granddaughter has just started piano lessons from her dad’s old teacher…so full circle there!! (I’m typing here while she’s at her lesson!)
    Go well good friends….I will be checking back in from the other hemisphere soon!!
    go well!
    xxx
    Erin

  • posted by Joes Nonna
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    Erin, Just a quickie….have a lovely time and don’t work too hard. I am so jealous as Canada is one of the few places I would love to see.

    Safe and comfortable journey.

    Love Mary
    xxx

  • posted by Joes Nonna
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    For those of you who don’t know me. I began this way of life in October 2017. I weighed around 20 stone (280 pounds)…I say around because I was frightened to look down as the scales creaked and groaned under my heft. I lost weight incredibly slowly. I mean….I N C R E D I B L Y….SLOWLY!!! Many people lost 2 pounds a week and I lost 2 pounds every 6 weeks…I rarely had a whoosh (I think I may have had one) and there were times when I actually gained weight whilst doing nothing wrong at all. I began eating one meal a day and the losses (or discards a much better phrase, thank you whoever thought it up) began to happen. I believe you when you say “I am being doing everything right, why am I not losing.” It happened to me! The only thing I can say is…keep going. Eventually something has to happen. I lost weight by mixing it up. One day just one meal, another 2 meals and a third a 24 hour fast. It worked for me.
    It goes without saying that at that time I wasn’t drinking. Al K Hole will just scupper your good work and on top of that it’s empty calories!
    Having said that…I reach out my left hand and pick up a glass of fizzy white wine. I haven’t started yet so I am still indulging. I need to work off the carbs first. Having two kids in the house means that biscuits, crisps (potato chips), bread and cakes are here. Not to mention fries and pizza. Plus they love pasta. I know I shouldn’t eat them and at first resisted. I HATE WASTE…and these kids waste loads. So my excuse is that I had to finish the stuff they leave so it isn’t wasted. Who comes out the worst. ME! I have to overcome my annoyance at throwing food away and give myself permission to do so. I may just force feed their mother the leftovers so I don’t eat them (although to be fair she is like a Hoover around such goodies and never gains a pound! B*tch lol).

    So here endeth the sermon for today. I am hoping to begin weighing, calculating and recording as I did before, very soon. I actually miss the discipline it gave me. I was in control of my life and I will be again.

    Thanks for listening. In the style of Arnold Schwarzenegger “I’ll be back!”

    Nonna Mary

  • posted by sunshine-girl
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    Hi Nonna, I have not posted on this thread before but you are so my kind of woman.

  • posted by Leeleecheechee
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    So delighted to hear a few old friends are back. What a rollercoaster we have all been on. Mary and I have stayed in touch via fb but I was quite emotional to see the lovely Liz back. Fighting the good fight despite the knocks. A true inspiration.

    So for those of you that may remember, I too had health issues. I had my benign adrenal tumour removed in February. It was a monster at 7.5cm. I had hoped that it would resolve all my issues. It didn’t. I still have acute fatigue, but I manage it. I plan activity around rest days. If I’m honest, I need 1 day per week in bed to re-charge. It’s not ideal at 45 but there are others way worse of than me (and if I’m honest, a binge worthy box set day is a guilty pleasure as much as a necessity!)

    I’ve stayed low carb (other than the two months post surgery when I did let bread back into my life!) I did gain about 20lbs but I’m shifting again, using all I learned here and virtually back to a healthy BMI. This forum without doubt saved me. I very rarely imbibe now (just the inevitable Ireland trips about 4 times per year!) and I don’t miss it. Genuinely.

    Love to you all. Chin up. My life has been blessed by you all and I love that this forum continues to inspire

    L xx

  • posted by heiding
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    Hello – I’m Heidi from Australia and I was bordering on being an alcoholic. Definitely alcohol dependent, desperate to stop but didn’t know how.
    I found this thread while looking for ideas, and read it from start to finish over a few days. @canadaliz I can’t tell you how much you have inspired me! I want to thank you – because of your humour and your wonderful and practical ideas (telling the booze to fuck off out loud! I have done that more than once 🙂 ) it has helped me to not take one drink in over a month. I feel so much stronger and happier – I can do stuff on the weekends ! IN THE MORNINGS!! I ‘only’ drank on the weekends, but couldn’t wait for that first one on a Friday.
    I’ve also found my friends to be extremely supportive, if not somewhat bemused – and amused ! Turns out I am just as silly sober as I am drunk (I’ve written this before somewhere!).
    Anyway, I’ll stop repeating myself and send a heartfelt thanks to you. I hope your health improves and I’m so sorry for the hard couple of years you’ve been having, especially with the passing of your mum and your illnesses. Take care.
    I also love Nonna Mary’s posts and Leelee you make me laugh with your cougar stories in Ireland 🙂 Many other posters too, thank you for the inspiration! I hope this thread continues xx

  • posted by Searchingrockpools
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    Hey gang
    I see many life changes, trials tribulations, losses and life lessons learnt out of hard times. My admiration and thoughts of and for you all remain. I lost my way, tried for a long time to avoid the carbs, and messed up everything about April. I gave myself excuses for unhealthy eating, carbs sugar, and then the wine, and more, and more and now, its time to fess up. Front up, show up and be accountable. My BMI is back to overweight but I was down to upper end of healthy. I was also exercising regularly and eating well, in this way of life. Chucked it all out with my self love, self respect, and health and wellness. Brought in self pity, self loathing and booze, which led to carb craving. Well today, I take in the experiences and life altering changes you have been managing, coping with and make the choice for me. It will be 1 day at a time, and this is day 2. I’m going back to writing Liz, in pen on my hand, so I don’t forget what Liz’s posts taught me in my beginning days of this space of humanity, humility and homeliness…. this band of life soldiers with arms outstretched and linking each other so no one falls behind, they are lifted up by each others grace and courage. I got lost, got embarrassed as I was feeling I was going so well. I’m ashamed of who I have become. Now I take up where I left off and get my ass back to accountability, and into health. May you all have success and small but abundant joy in your days. I’ll be back soon. Much love and thanks.

  • posted by Searchingrockpools
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    A strong day 1 back on this way of eating, day 3 of no booze. I was visualizing Liz’s cucumber water, and how I need to get a great vat like jug to keep it chilled and delish. Calorically higher than 800 I’m guessing, but no refined carbs. High protein, small amount of fats, and not nearly enough water. Well off to bed, down this way. Well wishes to all. I’m feeling strong. Thanks for being there.

  • posted by alliecat
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    Oh my goodness, searchingrockpools!!! Of course I remember you, and Kazz will, too! How is your son? You can get back
    on track, honey…It’s never too late 🙂 Back in april I reached 2 full years of maintenance, but I’ve been away from the forums
    for @ 2 months. In fact, I just started reading posts again today! Seeing your name brought back memories, so I had to
    stop and say hi 🙂 If you remember the 2 of us, you will probably be delighted to hear that Kazz just recently traveled to the
    USA to spend a week with me for my birthday. Lots can happen in 2 1/2 years! Wishing you every success with your reboot.
    You can do it! 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Allie

  • posted by Jennie10
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    Hi Searchingrockpools,
    I just wanted to wish you all the best. I only started posting on this forum in 2018, but started doing BSD in 2016 and used to regularly visit these forums. I always read this thread. Sometimes I laughed and sometimes I found it very moving.
    Sounds like a good Day 1 and Day 3 and it’s great to hear you are feeling strong.
    Jennie xx
    Edited: Allie, lovely to see you posting again too

  • posted by alliecat
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    Thank you, Jennie! It’s good to know that you’re still here too! 🙂

  • posted by Leeleecheechee
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    Ahhh searchingrockpools. Your post brought a tear to my eyes. Your courage inspires me and I wish you all the strength you need to get through. Congratulations on making day 3! Keep us posted. I’m still quietly here x

    Allie. Nice to see you too! When can I come visit?! Hope you and Kazz had a lovely time xx

  • posted by alliecat
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    Leelee! This feels like a reunion! I’m so sorry that the surgery didn’t reverse your fatigue problems. I know what they
    feel like, and they really do alter your life. From one (ex) red head to another, don’t give up hope, ever! I hope “Dad”
    is holding his own. My OH is stable at the moment, and has remained out of hospital and fully employed as a professor.Each day is a gift. Keep wowing your admirers in Ireland, you cougar 🙂

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