Oh dear Allie , so sorry to hear that your injury is worse than I imagined , I had hoped you’d be much improved by now , please take care , do rest and don’t hesitate to seek Medicsl attention if your headache worsens !
Dearest love , H 66 😘😘

My lovely pals

Just dropping in quickly in my lunch hour.

Esnecca – delish cheesy recipes, thanks so much – I’m a cheese freak so I will try those for sure.

I’ve had a good week and as I’m coming to the end of week 5, I’m hoping for good news on the scales tomorrow.

Well done FFBB – 3 lbs off is superb!

Allie – sorry to hear you have hurt yourself. Have your been checked by the doc or A&E regarding concussion? One of the guys I work with was recently at a seminar and he was due to speak. As he made his way to the room, he walked smack into a glass wall. Ended up in A&E with a broken nose and black eyes. Then had to fly back to the UK. It’s easy done. Take care of yourself.

To everyone else – hugs and best wishes xxx

See you tomorrow
Kxxxxx

KazzUK + H66. Thank you so much! Your both are so sweet. Thank you for the excellent medical
advice, too. If I become sleepy or the nausea turns into vomiting, I will head off to have
my “head examined” to make sure there’s nothing much going on up there, as usual. 🙂
Stupid part is this is the second black eye in 15 years, same side, too. I must lead from
the right! The first one was an unfortunate close encounter with a flight of stairs. I’m
just going to have to accept that I’m a clumsy b***ch.

much love from Allie in racoon alley!

Hello All, and welcome Bluebell50,
Well done FFBB, the lacky band idea is a good one. I love the pinging across the shop image too!
Sorry to hear of your OH Alliecat and your walking wounded status. Actually there are a few on here in varying states of that, aren’t there. In that, I wish you all a painfree, dizzy free, weight gain free weekend!
Proudly I am day 13 without the evil Devils piss passing my lips!

I am easily doing fast from 7pm-0930am, but then I need a coffee! Some days I have been running late, and not got a coffee until closer to 11am, then I can delay or even miss lunch.
I’ve been busy this week, mostly stuck to the 800.

Big blow out this arv though, a 135g packet of Sweet potato crisps, sea salt.
As pathetic as it is I did check the labels, and got the pkt with no sugar or additives other than salt.

Not sure if it was the salt I was craving, or if it was the emotional eating kicking in after a big emotional shock about child today, nothing like a number of calls to work from school saying ring and attend urgently, or the fact that I’m day 2 tonsillitus, and feel miserable. oh I’ve worked it out… I’m dehydrated… hard swallowing water, not had anywhere near enough. Last 2 days. The saltiness forced me to drink water. Still no where near enough.

Not going to beat myself up too much. I DID not reach for the bottles of wine! after today, and it was only a packet of crisps, had I checked in earlier, I would have had the crisps dredged in dirt, drain hair gloop, and dog poo. Like BB50’s cheese sanga!
Nonna Mary I went and bought some new scales, so I expect a slight gain on them tomorrow! Since starting I have now lost 3.9kg or 8.5lbs.
The bloatedness of my face and abdomen, has reduced a bit. I’m seeing slow change on the scales, and slow to zero on the tape measure. But my boobs, are smaller, and I almost have 2 boobs not four (not fitting) in my bra now.
Anyone know if my skin breakout, is dietary related? my face is currently looking like I’m a crack whore… any ideas?

I’m reading all your journeys, and wow you guys really do rock!

You all have great stories, and a collective life here is commonly shared, with joy, comisseration, laughter, and sorry Nonna toilet humour, farts, ablution reports and complaints.
Some rules are made to be challenged!
Taking tea drinking to a new level here.
I’m wondering how the Northern hemisphere people that have not long left you Summer behind, how did you go over summer with the entertaining season? Or even fellow Aussies, if you have done BSD during a summer?
Tips for staying away from the devils piss (drinking) which if an Olympic sport, Australia would excel at… Talking national stereotypes, hoping this doesn’t get me in trouble referring to my fellow countryfolk…
Well fellow travellers, hauling my sorry arse off to bed.

Wishing you all a glorious Saturday/ weekend when it comes around.
Searching(scabby) rockpools xxoo

Searchingrockpools – I am so f’ing proud of you!!!! Thirteen days is an accomplishment,
and represents a savings in calories of far more than that available in a packet of chips! 🙂
I hope you soon recover from the toncillitus. We are somewhat of a motley crew at
the moment, but we WILL persevere! The scales are moving in the right direction, so
be proud of yourself.

Hugs,

Allie

Searchingrockpools – Having almost 2 boobs instead of 4 is great! I have none at all
anymore, and have had to resort to a mastectomy type bra. I feel like a 12 year old!
So, it’s all good 🙂 🙂 🙂

Searchingrockpools….one packet of crisps does not a sinner make! Hell, it’s fine. You didn’t drink! However, I don’t understand the fasting and you say you have coffee. That is allowed! Unless you have loads of sugar? You can have that too as long as you count it in your allowances. The guidelines are 800 calories. If you can get the carbs down, so much the better. I think you are doing brilliantly. 3.9 kg is a fantastic result. I would be thrilled for that. As for the crack whores face….apart from needing plenty of water/coffee/tea…all are fluids…the only reason I no longer drink lots of tea is because I have to have sugar in it. So I drink black sugarless coffee and water (not my favourite drink). I have found that the increase in fluids has made a difference to many of my problems (and created some…up all night having to empty the bladder), but the psoriasis on my face is just as bad as ever!

It’s so cold today that I am thinking we have well and truly seen the back of summer. I haven’t had a problem with entertaining, but then again I don’t do a lot of that anyway lol.

Allie, please be careful..I don’t like people hurting my friends even if it is self inflicted. Make sure you rest properly and get some sleep (I remember you have had problems). Have you tried the ‘Mindfullness’ that MM mentions in the book? I am going on a course soon to see if it will help reduce my stress. It always amazes me that I suffer from stress….I am retired and don’t have much to get stressed about!

Well that is probably it for this Friday…tomorrow I have my DD here to cook batches of food for her freezer whilst I look after my baby granddaughter. How honoured am I?

Take care everyone and have a good Friday night/Saturday.

Lots of love
Nonna Mary
xxxx

Gorgeous Earth Mother Mary – Thank you! I AM taking care of myself. Re stress:
Sometimes I think the manner in which we handle it (or in our case, don’t) is largely
determined by our emotional make-up. I’m really interested in your upcoming stress
management course, so I hope you will report back with whatever you learn. One of
my sisters (the “normal” one ) has been taking 3 months of a very intense meditation
course to help her manage reflexive sympathetic dystrophy symptoms. Any stress
causes her intense pain. It’s designed to retrain the brain in managing stress. I’ll
look into the mindfulness thing. Several years ago I started to practice “gratitude”
as a means to that end. Basically, the recommendation was to take some time out
of one’s day to focus on things that we are grateful for, and write them down in a
journal. None of this came naturally to me, and I felt awkward doing it. I no longer
need to write it down, it has just become automatic to me. All of you frequently feature
in my thoughts, and it has been a big asset to me in letting go of obsessive thoughts
and people I can’t do anything about. (there she goes, being philosophical again 🙂 )
Have a wonderful day tomorrow with DD and baby granddaughter!

Racoon Allie

Searchingrockpools , wow to you , you are doing so well after such a short time , so cheers to you ( water only of course !) , do hope your concern with one of your children is all over , such a worry !
Do hope your tonsillitis abates quickly , a salt and water gargle a few times a day is always beneficial , but a Betadine gargle is better if you have a Pharnacy near by , to kill all those rotten bugs , and yes we seem to be a bit of a motley crew at the moment ,skin wise and body wise , but we will all come up TRUMPS I’m sure ! ( oops excuse me , just a pun I swear , I won’t go there , Politically incorrect no doubt !! )
Nonna Mary enjoy your day with your sweet babe , and your daughter , & dear Allie do hope you are ok .
Lovely sunny day here , so hope OH will take me for a walk later . ( isn’t it hilarious having to have someone to take me for a walk ??😂😂😂😂)
We must soldier on fellow troops , have a great weekend all , wherever you are 🌎🌏 love H 66 xx

Good morning all, and hope you’re having a pleasant Saturday, wherever you are!

Nonna Mary, I’m slow in replying to your kind query but thank you for checking in. Oh, what a tale of woe – I’m afraid I didn’t stick to my saintly plans :/ I shall spare you all the details but I’d had a big row with someone just before I was due to head out, and bad habits kicked in with a sense of ‘screw the world’ … not my finest or most grown-up hour! We did come second in the quiz, so that’s something to be proud of.

It’s been a really tricky week, with some work related challenges and bad news about my poorly family member, who is going to need major surgery very soon. I’m fretful and anxious but need to avoid a downward spiral of bad eating/drinking making all the other stresses worse. So, I’ve done my shopping for the week online and planned my meals, and let’s see how I get on.

I do love this time of year, so I’m trying to get outside and enjoy it as much as possible but it’s bittersweet when I’ve got so much going round my head that it’s hard to relax.

Well, that’s my grim saga for the week – thank you for listening. I actually feel better for having come and ‘fessed up. Tomorrow is another day, eh?

Asecondautumn – I’m so sorry that you’ve had a miserable week. Your job sounds
extremely stressful. Add to that the worry about a loved one’s health, and you
are simply on overload! If you can, just try to put a line through it, and try your
best this upcoming week. The road forward seldom is in a straight line, so
please don’t be too hard on yourself. I’ve had a very trying year with respect to
my husband’s health, a diagnosis of heart failure, followed 8 months later with
colorectal surgery. Even when he was recovering, I simply couldn’t stop worrying
about the future. Then I joined this group of amazing women and regained my
spirit and perspective, as a result. I want this for you, too. We’ve all made similar
choices under trying circumstances…That’s why we’re here! Trust the process.
We are here for you. And keep posting!

Love and hugs,

Allie

Hi all, just popping in to try and keep myself accountable… Off to an 80s night at a pub with some ladies from work. Dancing equals exercise yay, but… and a big but… it usually takes a few drinks before I pluck up the courage to hit the dance floor!
So here is my game plan. I’m driving myself there.

Can’t drink and drive. Can only have 2 drinks over the evening. I will eat a great big bowl of minestrone before I go, so I don’t feel like drinking. Soda water and lime. Maybe a wine or cider. Still feeling a little rough, but not going is not an option. Thats what I would have done 2 months ago… and stayed at home with wine and the tv, so I didnt have to haul my large frame, and even larger arse out in public…
Don’t want to activate my wine gland…it causes logical brain function over ride. Anyway all, gotta go get my glad rags on…
Nonna make sure you get some cuddles in for us all.
Allie, Nonna, H66 Hello, FFBB et al thanks for your cheers and encouragement. Enjoy your weekend xxoo
Searching ( for somewhere inconspicuous)rockpools

Good day peoples!

Didn’t check in yesterday (not that there are any rules about having to do it every day, but since I am sitting at home it seems like a good thing to do!) I felt a bit under the weather and feared that this WOE was having some kind of adverse effect. However I have realised that it is just hormonal, which often leads me to feeling headachy and a bit shaky. Went to bed last night at 10.30, fell asleep quickly, didn’t wake till 5 when the OH was up because of nightmares, then went back to bed and slept till 9.30am! Under normal circumstances this would be miraculous but since I broke my leg I never have any more than about two hours normally without waking so this was nothing short of earth shattering! Definitely felt the better for it this morning and attribute a lot of it to not having to digest rubbish food so definitely feel a lot more comfortable.

Yesterday was an odd day food wise- I had my usual yoghurt and fruit breakfast at midday and planned soup for lunch at around 4. However our friend brought her two French bulldogs pups over for me to babysit while she and the OH ran an errand. So the soup went out of my mind. They decided on a take away for dinner around 8pm and it was then that I realised I had forgotten to eat lunch! That may be the first time in my whole life I have ever missed a meal! The chips etc (fries for our international friends!) that they were having smelled so good but I held strong and dug a meal out of the freezer (kitchen reno one week in, about three to go- I hope!) and ate that, so kept in line. At the end of the day I thought I had overdone it, but on calculating realised the only extra thing I had consumed was a small handful of nuts! My mind kept telling me I had had a bad food day and I think I may have ended up a few calories over- but considering in the past I would have blown 4000 a day easily I don’t feel bad at all!

Allie thanks for the food suggestions- almonds are definitely a go to of mine. Hate avocado sadly, it would be such a friend on this eating plan. I just need to check out carb contents before eating and plan a bit better I think.

Esnecca your veg cheesy sauce thing sounds divine! As soon as I have an oven again I’m making that! I also have the BSD recipe book so keen to try those out too.

Searchingrockpools- you are doing great! You can’t be all good all the time. Hope the 80s night didn’t lead to too much falling off the wagon but I think the secret is probably just getting back on it again. I have a wedding coming up in November and the various hen nights that go with, so I’m trying to decide how to deal with that. But I will probably not stick to the plan 100% and then just deal with it afterwards. But in the long term you are still doing amazing so don’t forget that.

Allie- your injury sounds terrible! I hope you feel much better soon. We do seem to be a bit of a motley crew at the moment. Hopefully it won’t be long till we are all back to more or less normal (whatever that is!) H66 hope you are feeling better soon also- but ladies, if we can do it through these challenging times we can do it anytime!

Mary and Bluebell and Kazz and everyone else- hope its all going well and going downwards! Its chilly here today and the OH is off out so I’m settling in having lit a fire and enjoyed scrambled eggs- movie and tea it is.

Oh a couple of resources I’ve come across- websites called ditch the carbs, fat sick and nearly dead ( not all carb friendly but lots of good recipes) and vegan richa- some good recipes and she also does some alternatives to bread. Might be worth a look.

Happy weekend all!

Heather

Hello66 – That’s so interesting about betadine for gargling! I’ve seen it used for surgical
site prep, but I’ve never heard of this. Makes sense, though. I hope you got out for your
walk today. Are there leash laws in Aus.? If your O/H has a proper leash for you, I
can try to design a collar! What kind of gemstones do you like? Or should I
go for something a little more Boho (bohemian)? 🙂 I’m doing fine, I think…I wish we
could post pictures here. This is one impressive black eye. Some of the swelling has
gone down, but still a black walnut sitting at the hairline! I wish I could blame Al K. Hole
for this ridiculous outcome, but alas, it’s just me!

Nighty night!

Allie

H66 – Oh, I forgot to add that it’s kind of a Quasimodo look that I have going on 🙂

Just a quick note, my dear friends – I just heard on the news that you have had another
terror incident on the tube in London. How horrible! This is the 5th one in 2017? I
feel for you, how frightening. Do any of you need to use the Tube to get to work??
We all need to remain alert to what is happening around us today, I guess. I think
I’m too old for this fast changing, dangerous world we now live in. I’m thinking of you!

Allie

Hello, I’d like to tell you a story. I have ummed and ahhed as to whether this is appropriate, but heck, they can’t hang me. Please don’t think of it as a tale of hardship or woe, just a life experience;
Background – My darling Granny and Grandpa both had a wretched childhood. They married when she was nine months pregnant ( abhorrent in the 1930’s ) and they went on to have 3 more children. Then he went to war. He was held in a P.O.W. camp and returned home to a wife and children he hardly knew and no job. They re-located from a tenament in Scotland to Luton, where there was work going at Vauxhall Motors. Lord only knows what went on in the P.O.W.camp, and what he endured, as he would never speak of it, but his attitude made the lives of my granny and their children hell. Both grandpa and granny drank heavily probably because they couldn’t stand the sight of each other. The two eldest, both boys became heavy drinkers and it ultimately cost them their lives. The eldest daughter married a lovely man, but they both went out several times a week drinking. They had twins, one of whom died 4 years ago due to alcoholism. The second daughter was my mum. She married a man who was very much like grandpa – bad childhood and traumatised. Affection wasn’t an inherant factor in either of them.
Mum had her eldest child, a my brother, nine months after their wedding when she was eighteen. Alcohol killed him at the age of 58.
Both my mum and dad drank heavily.He became diabetic and it culminated in his death. I remember him being brought home blind drunk from work by his BUS DRIVER colleagues and having to collect a blind drunk mum from a hairdressers chair. Growing up, I really was no better. I joined a profession which at the time encouraged hard work and equally hard play and matched the lads pint for pint, shot for shot.
I married a wonderful man who enjoyed a decent pint of Real Ale but knew when to stop, and it had a stabilising influence on me. We had a darling daughter, but sadly, when I was 29 and my little girl was two, my lovely husband died.
I cannot begin to describe the shame I feel when I hit the bottle big time afterwards.
I had a beautiful home and functioned well.
My daughter excelled at school ( not because, but inspite of me ) and went in to retail management at a tender age. Then something happened to pull me up sharp. I started to discover Vodka bottles, Cider bottles and many other alcohol types in her bedroom. She had a massive breakdown, and lost everything – but me. For years we have been pussyfooting around each other, but I have kept her safe, although as she is an adult she has the right to do as she pleases.
However – and this is the best bit, since I have started on this plan, she has seen the change in me. For her, more sneaking off to buy some bottles and losing another four or five days at a time of her life. She enjoys our really long walks instead of being holed up in her room, and she is making better choices about what she eats. So ( and I take nothing for granted ) life is good.
I shall add, and you can dismiss this final chapter, but I have nothing to gain from being untruthful.
Having been a Spiritualist for many years, two weeks ago I changed Churches as I recently moved. The Medium was one I hadn’t seen before. Long story short. She came to me and said, ” Your Mum is still here on the earth plane,( true ) but I have a father figure. He isn’t coming close, because he never did when he was here. He wants to tell me that he is proud of you, because you have broken the pattern.’ ” I hope I have.

Hello, I wrote a post, well thought out, and hopefully helpful. Newest post choice states I was the lastest post but it ain’t here! Did I do wrong?

I’m sure you didn’t bluebelle – The site has been all over the place with the
time stamp. – I think there must be a technical problem of some sort.
Sorry you lost the post, however. I was all set to read your story, then poof!
Annoying, isn’t it?

Good afternoon/morning/evening I think that might cover all time zones…
Well wagon falling i did, but not anything like I would have in my previous life!
There was lots of dancing, lots of laughter, and singing, i had 3 x 120ml glasses of wine, a pint of bulmers cider, and a pint of low alc beer. So not so bad, considering I actually stopped, and interspersed with water. Former unaccountable life, I would not actually recall how much, or what I drank. I would mostly have big blanks of the evening too.
i am fairly seedy today, self inflicted! Determined though that I’m back on the straight and narrow. The scales are still going down so that is a plus.

Thanks for the encouragement gang! Go Heather what determination, no chips/fries!

Allie i hope your quasimodo raccoon look doesn’t linger for much longer. I love the imagery.
I remember when I was a young whipper snapper, I had turned up to work complete;y oblivious that the hit I had copped to the head the night before at basketball by mid morning had become a hideous purple black/red shiner!
So I’m sitting at the desk on kids ward wondering why colleagues and staff had all been acting oddly towards me… I was working as a hospital social worker.
So this awkward registrar had copped the short straw to ask me if I’m ok?.

I’m oblivious to the reason for the question. I thought it a bit odd, he couldn’t keep eye contact with me, in fact most people couldn’t. It went out of my head, and eventually I paid a visit to the bathroom, saw my eye in the mirror and then it dawned on me! My colleagues thought I was subject to domestic abuse. I sought them out told them it was a sports injury, (apparently just one too many on their watch it seemed) and at the time I was horrified of the thought, but years down the track, I;m grateful that they were concerned and raised it with me. Way off track but early 90s DV was not spoken about.

Heather/ Nonna Mary/ Kazz/FFBB/Hello/ Allie/BB50/EC and everyone else I found a website called “Eat this much”, you can choose how many calories you want to consume in a day, in how many meals, what kind of diet. I chose 800 cal mediteranean over two meals. You can also add in how many grams carbs, fat, protein etc you want for your daily limits. I haven’t signed up yet, I just use the recipe section it is quite nifty. I have got some good ideas from the site.
Feeling quite gross now from my indulgences last night on a fairly empty stomach… that was not going to end well!
Having a nana nap before I take the dogs walking, and give them a wash to spruce them up, so someone around here feels good!

Happy Sunday all, big hugs to the walking wounded, non walking wounded, and those struggling with inner demons. Big hugs all round. May any more falls only be in weight, no injuries!
Searching (gingerly and green gilled) rockpools
XXoo
I second what Allie said about the UK folk on here too. Stay safe, stay alert. 🙂

Bluebell, I don’t know what happened to your post on here, but I was sent a copy to my email. If you want me to I can copy and paste it back to here.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I was very moved. I am also overjoyed that you and your Darling Daughter are benefitting from this way of life. Our glorious leader Liz also had the same problem as you and I pray she is well and strong.

I will be back later.

Lots of love
Nonna Mary
xxx

Joes Nonna

As you have read it, if you think others may find it interesting, then yes please,

Good morning friends

Bluebell, I also read your post as it came to my email on my phone. But I have logged on to my laptap and it isn’t here. How odd. I wonder if it was removed but there was no reason for it to be. I was very moved to read about your family history with alcohol starting with your grandparents. I am so glad you have found this site and that this way of eating is slowly transforming things for you, as it certainly is for me. And the knock on effect on your daughter is also very positive. One day at a time is my mantra.

I lost my close friendship with my best friend of 25 years about 3 years ago now to alcohol. 12 years ago she lost her unborn baby of 38 weeks. Understandably she fell into the bottle. But then after about a year she stopped as she was determined to have another baby and after a year, she did succeed. As soon as her baby was born, she went back to drinking. As a stay at home mum, she just got worse. Terrible rows with her husband, not turning up at school to collect her boys as she was passed out, becoming psychotic and imagining slights against her, losing grip on reality, arguing with the neighbours. I’d receive calls from her from the police station where she’d been taken to sober up and she’d want to come and stay with me rather than go home. After 12 years of trying to help her, she eventually fell out with me. Said I constantly let her down, wasn’t there for her, blah blah blah. By this time I’d researched how to deal with an alcoholic. How no to enable. Difficult to put into practice though. However, the last phone call asking me to collect her from the police station at 1am on weekday night, i said no to her. I felt so guilty. I had abusive phone messages and texts for about a year after that on and off and she’d contact other friends and tell lies about me. Thankfully they didn’t believe her. Her estranged father was an alcoholic, so was her brother. I miss my old friend still and she knows I’ll be here for her when she decides to try and get help.

Well, I weighed in yesterday and am now 17.9. I started at 18.6. So that’s 11 lbs lost at the end of week 5. BUT, the way I feel is so much more important than what it says on the scales. And, my winter coat I mentioned in an earlier post, now zips up comfortably. It’s still tight when I sit in it though, like a sausage skin, but nevertheless, a non scale victory!

Thank you for your wishes about the attempted terror attack… I live in the Midlands so am a long way from London. I am so relieved that the device failed! My heart goes out to my London pals and I am just so grateful it was no worse.

Have a good Sunday to you all.

Kazzzz xxxx

This is Bluebells post that got lost.

bluebell50 wrote on New life choice for determined alcoholic:

Hello, I’d like to tell you a story. I have ummed and ahhed as to whether this is appropriate, but heck, they can’t hang me. Please don’t think of it as a tale of hardship or woe, just a life experience;
Background – My darling Granny and Grandpa both had a wretched childhood. They married when she was nine months pregnant ( abhorrent in the 1930’s ) and they went on to have 3 more children. Then he went to war. He was held in a P.O.W. camp and returned home to a wife and children he hardly knew and no job. They re-located from a tenament in Scotland to Luton, where there was work going at Vauxhall Motors. Lord only knows what went on in the P.O.W.camp, and what he endured, as he would never speak of it, but his attitude made the lives of my granny and their children hell. Both grandpa and granny drank heavily probably because they couldn’t stand the sight of each other. The two eldest, both boys became heavy drinkers and it ultimately cost them their lives. The eldest daughter married a lovely man, but they both went out several times a week drinking. They had twins, one of whom died 4 years ago due to alcoholism. The second daughter was my mum. She married a man who was very much like grandpa – bad childhood and traumatised. Affection wasn’t an inherant factor in either of them.
Mum had her eldest child, a my brother, nine months after their wedding when she was eighteen. Alcohol killed him at the age of 58.
Both my mum and dad drank heavily.He became diabetic and it culminated in his death. I remember him being brought home blind drunk from work by his BUS DRIVER colleagues and having to collect a blind drunk mum from a hairdressers chair. Growing up, I really was no better. I joined a profession which at the time encouraged hard work and equally hard play and matched the lads pint for pint, shot for shot.
I married a wonderful man who enjoyed a decent pint of Real Ale but knew when to stop, and it had a stabilising influence on me. We had a darling daughter, but sadly, when I was 29 and my little girl was two, my lovely husband died.
I cannot begin to describe the shame I feel when I hit the bottle big time afterwards.
I had a beautiful home and functioned well.
My daughter excelled at school ( not because, but inspite of me ) and went in to retail management at a tender age. Then something happened to pull me up sharp. I started to discover Vodka bottles, Cider bottles and many other alcohol types in her bedroom. She had a massive breakdown, and lost everything – but me. For years we have been pussyfooting around each other, but I have kept her safe, although as she is an adult she has the right to do as she pleases.
However – and this is the best bit, since I have started on this plan, she has seen the change in me. For her, more sneaking off to buy some bottles and losing another four or five days at a time of her life. She enjoys our really long walks instead of being holed up in her room, and she is making better choices about what she eats. So ( and I take nothing for granted ) life is good.
I shall add, and you can dismiss this final chapter, but I have nothing to gain from being untruthful.
Having been a Spiritualist for many years, two weeks ago I changed Churches as I recently moved. The Medium was one I hadn’t seen before. Long story short. She came to me and said, ” Your Mum is still here on the earth plane,( true ) but I have a father figure. He isn’t coming close, because he never did when he was here. He wants to tell me that he is proud of you, because you have broken the pattern.’ ” I hope I have.

Not easy to break a pattern like that, Bluebell. Congratulations. Best wishes and hugs to you and your daughter.

Wow Bluebell you are so heading in the right direction go you! Your story is very touching, I wish you strength, you are doing great. So much more I thought to say, but really just Go bluebell you are awesome! I’m proud of you being able to put all that into words. Big hugs
Searching Rockpools

Bluebelle50:
thank you for sharing this very moving story. You are overcoming multi-generational
trauma, and this is a message of hope to all. I’m happy for both you and your daughter!
Many more read this thread than post here, and your story will undoubtedly affect others
thinking about making changes in their lives. Carry on with the good work!

hugs,

Allie

Thank you, Joes Nonna for reposting, and thank you all for your lovely messages. We are off for our daily walk along the beach into town as the weather is clearing up after heavy downpours here in Suffolk. I shall be thinking of you all x

Bluebell you definitely posted, I definitely saw it and read it and its definitely disappeared! How very odd. However I read it all twice and found myself nodding in places. It does not replicate exactly my own experiences but most of it resonated with me and I suspect with a great many others too. We are all products of our experience- not saying victims or taking responsibility away from us- but the end product is down to what we have seen felt and experienced in our lives. The change is up to us. And it sounds like you are living proof of that. Well done and bravo bravo bravo. Enjoy the walk!

I live in Scotland so well away from London but it always feels personal. Poor old London has been the place of terrorism for years which I suppose makes sense since its the base for significant parlimentary activity and so on. But it must be tough to live there. I have family there (all well thank goodness) which always makes it just a bit more anxiety provoking when these horrible things happen.

Hope everyone is well on this Sunday xxx

Oh and PS- I haven’t weighted myself yet, I decided to do it just once a week. I know me and if the scales showed a gain I would be hitting the chocolate and wine before you could say calories. So first weigh in will be tomorrow. But this morning I dressed in a jumper that normally fits me VERY well if you catch my drift. Today its extremely comfortable- and possibly even a bit loose!!!!

Soooo folks just weighted myself for the first time. 91/2 lbs off (4.3kgs!!!!!!) It’s working!!!

Brilliant loss, Heather 44. Congratulations!

Well done Heather 44.

Heather – that’s awsome! Keep up the good work 🙂 Very pleased for you.

Heather, I’m sending up a big cheer for you! Very proud of you 🙂 Now I’m going
off to dance a jig to celebrate your success!
Back later…
Allie

Heather you are our STAR OF THE WEEK….that is a wonderful loss. Bloody well effing done!

Now I have to confess. I had a drink on Friday. We had a ‘date night’ which included a lovely meal, so wine just had to go with it, then we watched a film. The wine just kept going down. Ok…you might say, put it behind you its just one day!….but no….no excuses….I drank again Saturday and again yesterday! I fell off the wagon with my mouth open and drowned in wine. I am thoroughly ashamed of myself….and also very very angry at my lapse. I have gone through stress and been strong, but then given in at the easiest time! I have let myself down, and let all of you down too!

I am now resolved again and will be pulling my socks up and climbing back on the wagon. The only good thing to come out of this is….I have someone to talk to here…I am only human and obviously an addict so your support is very very important to me. Thanks for listening.

Lots of love
Nonna Mary
xxx

Oh Mary. Try not to be too hard on yourself ( but I know that can be tough. I’m bad for that too) You can’t be all perfect all the time and lapses are part of life ( and recovery!!) You know it happened and you are taking a deep breath and starting again. That takes more courage than just allowing the demon drink back in and drowning for another few days or months or weeks. Well done for refreshing your resolve! You have this nailed. I agree about all the support- no way I could do this without all of you either. Much love xxxx

Darling Mary, I have so much I want to say to you right now. I’m still feeling somewhat
“cognitively impaired” from my head injury, so I hope this makes sense to you! I’m troubled
that you’re being so hard on yourself over the “lost weekend”. It’s behind you now. If the
evidence is still around, i.e., the “empties”, get out a black marker and draw a skull and
cross bones on them, and dump them in the trash! You’ve let no one down. I know I’ve
said it before, but it is true that “true” sobriety takes at least a year to accomplish. Try to
remember that regardless of how we choose to define ourselves, be it addict or binge
drinker, it is a DISEASE, and we seem to constantly need to remind ourselves that we are
“powerless” over it. In the words of Albert Einstein, “Insanity is doing the same thing
over and over, and expecting a different result”. But, there is some good news. We
know how to treat it by coming here and sharing our lessons learned with our friends.
I have every confidence that you will be back on track very soon, so please forgive
yourself.
Much love,

Allie

Where to start ???
Firstly Allie , yes I was taken for a walk OFF LEAD as I’m not considered a dangerous breed , most places that’s ok where we live , but the idea of a designer collar had me wishing I wasn’t just your old mixed breed , Heinz variety , harmless B…. !
Glad you’re doing fine , that Quasimodo R . look whilst it may be quite striking , don’t know whether it quite suits those leggings , one thing to mix n match but !
Yes betadine is available here as a gargle , stronger version , dose 10 drops in a ml .of water , for a very quick and effective gargle , or a version also available , diluted ready to go , we r never without the drops here in this h.hold .
And yes Betadine is used widely as a pre op surgical prep here in Oz as well .
We’ve been babysitting today , and whilst still a little unsteady bending up and down , playing , changing games frequently with Miss 3 , no untoward incidents to report , just a day filled with much fun , joy & laughter . 😊💗
I’ve managed to stay fairly close to BSD , & a tiny bit disappointed that no weight loss or looser clothes past few days !
Searchingrockpools you fell off the old wagon , but sounds like you got straight back on , probably a good thing you felt a little seedy , scales still going down so no damage done 👍
Will check out that website “Eat this much ” , sounds good .
Kazzzz pleased to hear you have a couple of victories to report , 11 pounds down week 5 is fantastic , and the coat zipping up is another bonus , be proud of yourself , as we all are 👏👏👏
Bluebell50 ., I read your post , felt quite emotional actually , but all I can say is stand tall and be very proud of yourself , that you are improving your own health , as well as supporting your daughter to improve hers as well , you have been able to break a very destructive pattern , all praise to you , your daughter already sees the difference in you , and will benefit hugely from making better choices about what she eats , all the very best to you both , as you both move forward together , big hugs . 😘😘
Heather44 : You rock girl , what an awesome weight loss , it’s working no doubt about it !
Nonna Mary , now stop that at once , whipping yourself for being human is inexcusable !!!
Shame and anger won’t prove anything as you well know , just the understanding that you’re only human is enough !
You’ve been strong over and over again as you’ve got through some of these stresses that have challenged you , and that’s exactly why it was easy to succumb , you thought you were through it , relaxed with your darling Jovis , let down your guard , and bingo it got you !!
But you know we all fall , but it’s getting back up , and ‘ soldiering on ‘ , that is the important bit , & you’re the first to help any one of us back up on the wagon if we need an extra hand , so remember we have those extra hands , and lots of them , so here we go , up you come , we are here for you 100 % , and remember if it was easy to kick these habits , there wouldn’t be a problem .
By the way we won’t be slapping you around with the wet fish , you’ve done that already dear Mary .
Extra strength and love coming your way from Hello66 😘😘

You guys are effing amazing and I love you all dearly xxxx

Nonna Mary
xxx

KazzUK – What a sad story about your best friend. However, it does demonstrate
what a dear, loyal friend you are, a personality trait I very much admire. Like
you, I hope that she realizes how ill she is and seeks out some form of help before
any damage to her brain becomes permanent. You are doing well with your 5 week
loss. Congratulations 🙂

Hello66 – Once again, your post has put a smile on my face 🙂 If you change your
mind about the collar, I’m ready yo get to work 🙂 I have to disagree with your
characterization of mixed breed, however. In my judgement, you are destined to
emerge “best in show” everytime! The incongruity of python print leggings in
conjunction with the multi-shaded grey bob that I presently wear, probably couldn’t
handle the extra accessory of a black eye. ( I’m keeping a low profile at home, hoping
to spare any judgemental looks coming O/H’s way.) Now, as long as I don’t suddenly
take up doing cartwheels in the streets, I’m probably reasonable sure that the “nutter
squad” won’t be picking me and hauling me off for some kind of “rest cure”. But I
will try and stay alert! HaHa
So glad that you had a day of joy with the little one !

Love & Hugs,

Allie

Wow heather well done you!

Bluebell- really want to salute you. Alcoholism is a horrible disease and genetics play a part- to swim against the tide and break free – for yourself and your child- is a huge huge huge deal x

Morning all.

Well the good news is I have lost 2 pounds this week! I am amazed and very happy.

The bad news…I fell over yesterday, almost onto my granddaughter who I managed to put to one side and fall the other! I landed very heavily on my right knee, my left leg dropped onto my trainer which really hurt. It wasn’t until I went to bed that I realised I must have twisted my back also. So a bit achey today…but I will live!

So along with Allie, Hello66 and others…we are now linked arms and supporting each other in an injured army…I wonder what Liz would think!

Thank you all for your kind comments yesterday…I am human, but you have made me strong…thank you!

Kazzuk, I had a similar thing with a friend, but she wasn’t an alcoholic, just an emotional vampire. She moved away from me without telling me where she was going and then contacted me after 28 years to ask how her Goddaughter (my eldest) was. I ignored her and will continue to do so. Sometimes, you have to let go of people who take and never give. You obviously have a huge heart.

I think that is all for now.
See you later peeps…stay well.

Lots of Love
Nonna Mary
xxxx

Well done Mary for the weight loss! And for picking up dusting down and carrying on. I really hope you haven’t hurt yourself seriously. What are we all like??!!!! If its very bad get it checked out- I know from personal experience how easy it is to damage yourself from a wee slip! Actually funny story I’ve just been reminded of- I simply slipped on the dance floor at a wedding and broke my ankle in three places and ruptured the ligament in my knee. I’ve been at the fracture clinic in the hospital for months but was just discharged a couple of weeks ago. The consultant who discharged me had never met me before (my own consultant was off that day) He was very confused how I managed to do so much damage by falling and asked “what height did you fall from?!” My reply of “5 feet 1 confused him even more! Fortunately he was a man with a sense of humour!! Anyway what I am saying is mind how you go!

Thanks everyone for the congrats. I have no illusions that it will always be this easy to keep going- but I know you are all here to cheer me on when I blunder 🙂

Hope everyone is having a good week- y’all make me laugh and smile 🙂

Onwards and downwards!

H x

Congrats on the loss Mary, and take care of yourself. XX

A very good day/evening to you all!

Mary, I’m so happy that you’ve had such an encouraging result on the scales for
the week. Well done! I’ve wanted to drop by and give that thing a good swift kick
for you, but then that would be “violence”, wouldn’t it? Please take care of that
knee and your wrenched back. We “ain’t” as young as we used to be 🙂

A few thoughts on our Army: For those who may remember, and for our
newbies that may not know, I’m an artist (watercolorist). I can’t help imagining us
in anything other than a visual way, so here is the artwork I see in my imagination…
I’ve rendered our Army in a pen and ink, cartoon style. The only color I’ve used is in
a magnificent dawn sky. We are coming up a hill, linking arms, some of us looking
skyward for inspiration, others looking downward, picking our way through the rocky,
hazardous terrain. Leading us is a magnificent 6′ tall woman named CanadaLiz.
In the color guard there are many flags, and some of them have a decided lurch to
the left or right. I carry one that has a huge bottle of wine on it, with a decidedly
pronounced skull and cross bones drawn upon it. We of course have numerous
injuries to contend with, but we carry on. Immediately behind us are a few “support
vehicles”, among them a canteen on wheels which contains huge vats of water and
a lifetime supply of cauliflower and other BSD friendly provisions. We also have need
of a medic, who appears to be rather overworked at the moment! 🙂 Finally, I’ve rendered
the rear guard in a light grey wash. These are our “camp followers” who have yet to
reveal themselves to us but I hope will be along shortly. Thanks in advance for
indulging my fantasies, and Everyone, have a wonderful day!!!

Love,

Allie

Nonna Mary – 2 lbs off is superb! Well done! Don’t beat yourself up – it’s how we deal with it and getting back on the wagon. I hope you enjoyed it at the time! and I hope your aches are on the mend?

Bluebell – your original lost post has now shown up on this thread!

Enjoy the rest of your day my friends.

Kazzzzxx

Allie – I really visualised your painting! I also saw us starting out slowly and as we gradually made our way up the huge mountain, we became lighter and quicker! You must paint that for all of us and somehow post it so we can print it and put it on our fridges! What do you mean by the colour guard and the rear guard? Intrigued! 🙂 Thanks 🙂

Kazz xx

Allie bloody love that painting! Kazz is right we need some way of having it in reality as well as in our minds. Also an artist- how cool! I’m just a boring social worker- your job is waaaaay more exciting!

Allie oh Allie….you don’t only paint with water colours…I could so see your picture and it is almost exactly as I see it too! Just one request, could you put a knight on a white charger bringing up the rear guard..that is how I see my lovely Jovis lol.

I have just finished a 24 hour fast. It wasn’t intentional. I usually don’t eat until 12 if I have nothing to do…and today I got an SOS from my lovely eldest who had two very grumpy toddlers because they had been up all night. She had a meeting this afternoon so I said I would be over asap. Unfortunately, just as I got there my lovely little Joe fell into the stair gate and made rather a mess of his face! He was understandably upset and then refused to go to bed. He did eventually and slept for 2 hours. By this time it was after 3. So I decided to wait until 7 and complete a 24 hour fast. Go me!

Funny thing is….I am really not very hungry at all. Never the less, I am going to eat my chicken and vegetables as soon as it is cooked. By the way…I have tried the Miso soup and I am not in the least bit impressed. Far too salty for my tastes. I will use it in stews, which we love in the winter.

Heather my darling, did they check your bone density? It must have been a hell of a fall. Honestly I shudder when I think of it. The pain must have been excrutiating. You are so brave.

Right…off for a shower and then my dinner. Love to all..

Nonna Mary
xxxx