Flash, it strikes me that you’re being very hard on yourself. Only a few people will have managed to stay on-diet over the last week or so, even the whole of December, which is just one big round of parties and other events. I live in Spain, and here the festivities continue till Epiphany (6 January). This is not an easy time. I think you just have to accept that. I expected to put weight back on and, no surprises, I have.
One thing’s for sure: beating yourself up about the past doesn’t really help unless you look back at it with an eye to devising a strategy for the future. And it looks to me like you’re doing just that already, so that’s a good start. These are just my views below. Others will have different views and strategies. I offer them as my perspective. Nothing more than that and I’m sorry for going on so long.
As far as the exercise is concerned, I know exactly what you mean. I could never see the point of ‘games’ at school. They were the point in themselves, I suppose, but I never got that and I certainly didn’t get the competitive thing.
Things are different now for me for two main reasons. We have dogs and I have a vegetable patch. OH does most of the dog walking, but I do go out with them several times a week. The vegetable patch is my main source of exercise. It’s been in abeyance recently, but I’ve started doing the digging for the coming season. Not huge amounts each day, but enough for me to notice the benefit. I love growing veg and this to me makes sense as a form of exercise.
And I think this is the key to exercise. Finding something that makes sense to you, either for it’s own sake (that might be possible for you if not for me) or because the end result gives you satisfaction. It could be anything. Even ballroom dancing because you want to whirl around the floor at the next wedding you go to.
As for the diet side of things, I do have an end goal but it’s so far from where I am now that, as a number, it’s pretty well irrelevant. I’ve also spotted that it’s still about 16 kg above the bottom of my healthy range according to the NHS and 15 kg above a ‘right’ weight for me according to an American calculator. And that target is just impossible, as far as I’m concerned, as I probably haven’t weighed that since I was seven. So I’ve set aside the notion of an end weight target and a deadline by which I want to achieve it. Fortunately for me, I’m not diabetic, so I don’t have to worry about fasting BG and all those figures either, and nor do I have to worry about the consequences of not getting the disease under control. All I want to do is feel well and to be well as long as possible into old age. And that is a good target. It’s one that makes sense to me in the same way that my chosen form of exercise makes sense to me.
My first eight-week stint was in fact about five weeks because I had three weeks or so out for big events. Thereafter I kept off the starchy carbs but certainly didn’t stick to it strictly by any means. I’ve tried two of Verano’s challenges. The first one I flunked dreadfully; the second one I managed about OK. I was going to sign up for the latest one, but have decided not to. My best strategy for me isn’t four weeks, eight weeks or target weight in x months. What works for me is one day at a time. Today is the only deadline I work to now and that’s manageable for me. I plan my meals for today in the morning while I’m having a bit of five-minute extra lie-in. Sure things might go awry a bit, but the basic structure for the day is there. Other people might find having a longer-term view helpful, but I cope better doing this one day at a time.
The other thing I’ve found unhelpful is comparing myself with others as far as weight loss is concerned. Some people lose weight far faster than others, perhaps because they have a different metabolism, don’t work so they have more time to cook and exercise, etc. Perhaps they simply have more to lose in the first place. At first, I found it disheartening to see that even in the weeks I was being very strict, others showed a far greater weight loss than me. Now I look at the figure, have an inward groan that I haven’t achieved even 20% of what they have, and then focus back on me. Very egoistical, I agree. As a joke, more than anything, I blame my Neanderthal genes! So I only lost 0.5 kg? That’s better than not losing anything or putting weight on. I try to put a positive spin on my achievements. If I even put weight on, well, it would have been more if I hadn’t been careful some of the time.
I bought Dr MM’s book and the accompanying recipe book, but I don’t follow the recipes or the food plan. In fact, I think I’ve only made one recipe from the two books combined. I follow the general principles as best I can on days when life gets in the way (too much work, so OH cooks; invitations to eat out; days when there’s nothing sensible in the fridge). On days when I’m in more control, I follow the principles plus find things to eat that I like. So I can’t eat spaghetti carbonara? Well, I can have courgette with smoked salmon and creme fraiche instead. Much nicer! So I can’t have a pork chop? Well, I can have fish en papillotte instead. Much tastier. I don’t stick rigidly to 800 calories a day, but I usually come in at less than a thousand.
You say that in the past you’ve lost three stones. That is an enormous amount of weight to shed. So you know you can do it. You just have to find a way in which you can do it now. You had a target date before (wedding, holidays coming up, whatever). If that isn’t working now, you have to make yourself your target. That might seem very self-centred, but if you have enough self-interest in the outcome, you will achieve it. For some, that self-interest is getting diabetes figures under control and that is a tremendous incentive. For the rest of us, we have to find what that self-interest is.
