Mariet So sorry to hear about your dog. Even when you know it is the most loving thing to do, it is so hard to take that decision. My own dog is being adopted next week – long story – and our home will not be the same without her. You are doing so well not to head for the biccies – which would, of course, make everything worse. Wishing you lots of strength and will-power!

Mariet, I’m so sorry my post crossed yours and very sorry to hear about your sad goodbye to your lovely dog. You really did do the kindest thing, but that won’t mean there won’t be a big gap. Warm supportive wishes to you all. Well done on the bikkies and back in the 62s!

Mariet I’m so very sorry to hear your news. It is very sad to lose a family pet and you will need some time to grieve.
Well done not resorting to old habits.
Big hugs

Mariet, can I please add my condolences as well. Went through a similar experience 3 years ago with a very (very very very) beloved cat. I still tear up when I think of him (quite the character…my BFF for 17 years).

Hoping for you that the pain lasts only briefly and the happy memories last forever. LTC

Adding my condolences too, Mariet, it’s an awful loss so sending much love and hugs xxx

Morning all,

today -1.2lb 😱 (that’s a ‘I don’t quite believe it’ face)
to goal : 4.6lb

We had lots of people over for pancakes last night. I made some low carb ones with almond flour, had them with a bit of greek yoghurt and some blueberries. Under no illusion that they tasted as nice as the regular pancakes but they did the trick, that of giving me an alternative.

Busy bee -well done on the loss, here’s hoping you can continue with it, even with a glass and fork in hand.
marie123 – glad you had a better day and big congrats on the positive exercise review. Would like to hear your results if you can track down the paper 😛

JackieM – I am inspired to watch that video now. I too don’t count carbs or calories but switching to the 16:8 (broadly) has been the thing that has got me into the 8’s. I also try to avoid snacking.

Shanshu – some great losses and so glad you are finding your way to keep up the good food choices through a tough time. Please don’t add to your stress or burden with feeling that you have to acknowledge everyone and post here. I love Marsie’s analogy of being the leaners/leaning post. We all know that life can get complicated. You sound so determined not to be derailed in this WOE, 👏 that’s the win right there. Echoing Marsie, come back when you can. No judgement only a welcome. xx p.s. if you read this, please don’t feel you have to reply. x

Mariet – so so sad to hear of the loss of your little dog 😢 but hugely impressed that you managed it biscuit-less. We lost our dog of 15years a little while ago and thinking of you now and the impact to your family. Keep going. xxx

Flick – can I whisper 62 with and for you? KOKO KOKO KOKO

X

Mariet, so sad about your dog, well done for looking after him so well and for looking after yourself too without the false comfort of the biscuits xx

Spent yesterday reading and watching about fasting. It’s a lot to get your head around if you’ve been brought up thinking 3 meals a day minimum is normal.

Have got used to skipping breakfast so Decided to see if I could stretch my fast today until dinner time. Ironically woke up hungry for first time in about 2 months. Clearly some headology going on here.

Have promised self do not have to fast but just see what happens. So am using the forum as a little note to self and will report back later. Need to fill my day somehow as otherwise will want to eat to fill it. Even saying that out loud sounds to me like I am being disfunctional about food, which I am uneasy about, so need to read some more to convince myself it isn’t weird not to eat. Like I say, so much in head not body.

Helps am on holiday with medical friend who agrees with all said about fasting when I discussed it with her, I thought she’d poo poo it as she’s very mainstream NHS medical.

I’m afraid I’ve fallen off the wagon yet again, 2018 not been a good year BSD wise so far. In spite of reaching my all time low of 9st 13 at beginning Jan I’ve bounced up and down in the 10s since with the same 4 or 5 pounds. Again at 10st 5 this morning after yet another week long sugar binge, cakes and biscuits, chocolate etc calling to me non stop, will power at zero. So have decided to try baking some low carb substitutes then if I binge at least damage limited. In the cupboard unopened I have ingredients bought ages ago and never got round to trying recipes.
Coconut flour
Almond flour
Gram flour
Dessicated coconut
Ground almonds
Baking powder (gluten free)
Coconut oil
I’m thinking biscuits, crackers, pancakes, cakes. Have various nuts, blueberries, raspberries to add. Will search for low carb recipes but does anyone have any tried and tested favourites they recommend?

Just letting you know I’m still here, even if I have been pants at keeping up with posts. Thank you to everyone who has made helpful suggestions. The general weight trend is downwards, very slowly downwards, with a bit of bouncing around. I’m a veggie with no health issues, doing this to get my waist in proportion to my height, and get weight down after years of yo-yo dieting and eating high fibre beans and rice etc. I have gone cold turkey on chocolate, desserts, alcohol and don’t have cravings. I seem to need to do 20/800 to lose anything at all, but then I realised that my protein level is way too low to be healthy. Thank you to people who have suggested upping the carbs if I’m not eating animal protein. I’m learning a lot in the process .. searching the UK for black soya beans .. experimenting with whey protein in cocoa (yuk!) .. and learning to like tofu. I’ve seen lovely recipes for seed crackers but don’t trust myself with having a tinful in the house. The first of three social occasions went ok:. it was a hot and cold buffet where I went only slightly off track. In order to avoid high carb quiche, rice etc I chose meat. A buffet is the worst for me as I get led astray! I didn’t weigh myself afterwards (in fear and apprehension) and then found I had lost 1 lb! I’m thinking of starting a thread for veggies so that it’s easier for us to get info and share learning.
Good luck everyone, and congratulations to those who are doing so well. Not much longer to go on this thread.

JulesP – try the Good Eats … the low carb way thread, lots of good stuff on there!

Thanks JackieM! I just discovered it after posting above like the sound of your parmesan crackers.

Happy Wednesday all
I hope it wasn’t an evening of too many pancakes last night – I’m on the hunt for a good low carb recipe to try at the weekend – so if anyone can point me in the right direction it would be very welcome.

This morning I had my first ever chia seed pudding – I was dubious about trying this – the look of it did put me off. Well I loved it! I mixed the seeds with almond milk and flavoured it with some vanilla and cinnamon. Left it in the fridge overnight and added some berries and chopped nuts this morning. I was missing my oats and this is a great alternative.

Mokovex – well done on your weight loss – those surprises are great.
Jules – when we fall off the wagon, we just have to pick ourselves up and climb back on. You can do this – you’ve done it before so you know you have the tools to achieve this. Keep going this is achievable. The low carb baking sounds like a good idea – let me know how you get on.
Good to hear from you Crazyquilter – A downward trend is good – speed is irrelevant. And well done navigating the social event – I know what you mean about buffets – I’m tempted to go for those calorific, carby options instead of the salads which I know are better for me. The veggie thread sounds like a good idea – I did a search and there have been a few started already but seem a bit out of date.

Hugs and warm wishes to everyone struggling at the moment.

Good luck everyone and keep up the good work.

Gattina I saw this recipe on Facebook – basically cream cheese and egg pancakes –
https://m.facebook.com/slimspirationalgrub/photos/a.250324221966172.1073741828.250311508634110/409564052708854/?type=3
I haven’t personally tried, but have successfully tried many of Lynette’s recipes (Lynette is the page owner).

SueBkie I think I love you! Have to wait to try them but yum!

Hugs, Mariet, sad time for you xx
JulesP, a feature of this forum is that when you fall off the wagon, you’re welcomed back on with warmth and no judging. After all, most of us have been there at least once. Good that you’re back.
Crazyquilter, good to know you’re still around and with downward momentum.

In my last post I was calling for ideas for the next challenge… managed to strangle part of the message so :
This challenge ends next Tuesday 20th Feb, next one due to end on Tues 20th March.
Can anyone come up with a catchy rhyming title?
One suggestion: autumn/spring, let low carbs sing! That’s pretty feeble, please somebody do better😌

MFODAAT

Cutting our sugar and starch as we head into March?

Bit long perhaps…

Shanshu: Cut sugar and starch as we head into March? Bit shorter?

3.30 here and no food yet, lots of water and not been doing much. Going to see if I can rustle up a cup of tea downstairs in hotel. Will not make full 24hrs cos of other people’s timings, but might make 23 if I’m not too bored/seducedcby what’s on offer earlier. Hungry and tummy rumbling a bit but not massively, desperately so.

Just been catching up on the posts as I have been away for an overnight hotel stay for work.

Monday weigh in at 12st 1lb – so 5 lbs lost in week one. The hotel stay and seminar day was an interesting challenge for me this week. Thankfully the hotel menu had plenty that could be BSD friendly by leaving off the chips / mash / rice / pasta, but being away from home I didn’t calorie / carb count. Morning coffee break for the seminar and croissants and other pastries, with extra raspberry jam if wanted were provided, and afternoon coffee break had chocolate brownies, victoria sponge cake and scones with cream on offer! At least the buffet lunch had plenty of green leaf salad and meat options.

So back to it today and starting to think about what I want to achieve for the March challenge.

KOKO.

New washing machine arrived today so just passing through, but how about

Cutting sugar and starch heading into March
…..or vice versa
Heading into March cutting sugar and starch

I also like

Step into spring letting low carbs sing – edited – just thought this leaves autumn out so wouldn’t be true for all of us

Will catch up later (after my third mixed wash). Want to be in Italy!

What about:
March into March without the starch
Drop the starch in March
Bad starch, not mad March

Sueblue – thanks for the recipe 🙂

How about CUT THE STARCH SUCCESS IN MARCH

Morning all,

I vote for Luvtcook’s Cut the Starch Success in March. Good and positive and short for when we are directing people to it!

My exciting news this morning is that the scales read 63.3! Not only does that get me a slightly safer distance from those very sticky 64s, it also signals exactly 15kg down since starting Round 1 on 14 November 2017 – 13.5 weeks ago. To say I am thrilled is a complete understatement. 🌟🌟🌟🎉🎉🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️💫💫💫💪🤩🎄

Hey JackieM well done on your fast. Hopefully it will nudge the whoosh fairy. Funny how not crazy hungry you get. Fung talks about how hunger hormones are released at whatever your normal meal times are but then don’t keep releasing. So if you ride each wave out you are fine again until the next mealtime wave. That’s consistent with my experience.

I’m off to find my least baggy outfit to wear to lunch with my bestie, who happens to be incredibly, effortlessly stylish. Despite best wfforts I usually end up looking dishevelled made worse now by ill-fitting clothes. Perhaps it is time to brave the shops.

Final note on fast. Lasted about 18hrs then ate a bit than normal and just had breakfast, which I don’t normally do but hopefully now will not be hungry until a lot later. Don’t know about fasting, definitely ok with about 15hrs, after that it’s not that I’m hungry it’s that I find stopping eating after I break the fast difficult. Though it was all the usual food so not worried about weight gain as such.

I am very engaged with the idea of giving my liver and pancreas a good rest, so will persevere gently with nudging the fasting hours up, I think.

Flick – wooo hooo! Down from the persistent 64s! Awesome! Do let us know how the fasting goes, I would like to get better at it. Maybe once I’m home and not in a hotel offering loads of nibbles I might find it easier (the not eating loads after I mean and also the lasting longer).

Success in March without the starch? To riff off LTC?

I failed to keep carbs at bay ON Valentines Day. Calorie counting went out the window but I had a starter that was calorific but low carb followed by a low carb and less than 550c main. Then there was dessert – which was already paid for. We got the sharing platter and I restricted myself to 2 small bites of 3 of the 4 puddings. How amazing they were.

Still a slightly lower weight this morning so hopefully I don’t suffer too much for this deviation later in the week.

I plan to be good and on diet for the rest of the week with no distractions. Really hoping to meet that magic 12lb drop in this challenge.

Mariet – so sorry to read about your dog – it’s a horrible decision to make. Best wishes to you and yours.

Well, some great weight losses being reported here at the moment which always helps keep me motivated.
treelady – 5lb lost in Week 1 – what a great start and brilliant motivation for staying on track this coming week.
Shanshu – well, I guess the title says nothing about On Valentine’s Day – and good going with the puds. 12lb – or even close to that – would be one brilliant weight loss result for this Challenge.
Flick – I do like a nice round number too – big congratulations on getting to the 15kgs total weight loss. Have a great weekend trekking.
Mokovex – what a lovely surprise for you just when you need it. Looking forward to when you reach goal – not as much as you are, though, I bet! I’m going to have another body scan type thing (technical term) at the gym next week so will let you know all my results altogether (basically means I haven’t quite found my piece of paper yet).
Crazyquilter – that’s a good idea about starting a thread for veggies – or refreshing an existing one.
Gattina – yes, definitely no more pork scratchings for me. I don’t even particularly like them. However, I do like a list and they were on my list of things to buy (recommended on a different forum) so bought them. Lesson learnt.
Marsie – hope you’re well over your leg cramps. It’s interesting what you say about eating chocolate and arthritis. I’ve never made that connection. My hands were so painful it’s been another good lesson for me. Not doing that again.
Jackie – like you I also like the idea of giving my liver and pancreas a rest. I’m going to start doing a 16:8 eating pattern – not been too far off that but did start sneaking in some yoghurt in the evening. Being able to keep a fast going that long while on holiday is really impressive!
After my weight gain last week I’m refocused and determined this week. – 2lb this morning.

Btw, I like Jackie’s version of LTC’s suggestion.

Me too

Hi all
hope everyone’s having a good day.

Shansu – well done holding back on the dessert and good luck reaching the 12lb target.
Flick – I’m so pleased there was a shift on the scales for you – good going. I know what you mean about ill fitting clothes – mine are now very loose on me and I’m not quite into my ‘slim’ clothes. I keep trying them on and telling myself I’ll be able to wear them next week – but I’ve been doing that for a month now!
Jackie – I’m really impressed with your fast. I’m intrigued but not sure it’s for me. At least not yet.
Marie – well done on the weight loss 🙂

I had a frustrating evening – no romance and roses for me – I went to my evening class and got very frustrated with the lecturer. It has been some time since I was in a class room and I am older than the other students (mostly in their 20s/30s – I’m pushing 50) but there seems to be so much time wasted rather than getting on with the actual teaching or even committing to a date for the essay.

Oh well – I’m looking forward to trying the cream cheese pancakes on Saturday.

KOKO

Good efforts with the next challenge, everyone, and looks like it’s yours Jackie. Nice and crisp. SUCCESS IN MARCH WITHOUT THE STARCH: 4wk challenge ending 20th March. Will you set it up for us for Tuesday?

I’ve had a good couple of days, am down a bit since Tuesday and hold some hope for the end of this challenge. Except that I face Friday and Saturday nights out, with Saturday being a Chinese Banquet for Chinese New Year. Problem there is that even if I only take a little bit from each plate, there are so many plates and so many sticky looking sauces! I intend to be as judicious in my selections as I possibly can be, so we’ll see. Why am I going, with all these hurdles? OH wants to go, I enjoy the company, have to trust myself to be selective and not just “blow it”. And I guess we are all going to face social situations or become hermits. Not a choice, really, is it?

MFODAAT

Good that you’re down a bit already Marsie, hopefully it will balance out against the Chinese buffet, which I have to say is making my mouth water as are the cream cheese pancakes, Gattina – must be time for tea.

For general info, meant to mention earlier about the discussion on leg cramps. Jason Fung suggests rather than taking magnesium tablets which some people do, you’re better off buying Epsom Salts and throwing a handful of these into your bathwater every now and again. He reckons quite a few people are low in magnesium. According to Dr Fung magnesium taken orally is often not absorbed but the magnesium is absorbed through your skin when you take an Epsom salts bath.

Yes, nice title for the next Challenge. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I’m going to end this Challenge pretty much where I began weight-wise, (although a ‘stayed the same’ is still do-able) so, like you, treelady, I’ve got my sight firmly set on my March goals.

Yikes that’s a lot of responsibility, setting up a thread. Ok (gulp!)

Have been v hungry today after extended not eating yesterday. Have been looking at cake with more interest and even had a small mouthful (didn’t like it). Not sure why, maybe I ate too many carbs by accident (I’m in a hotel and whilst I don’t eat obvious carbs those pesky things can get everywhere, or I forget they might be in for eg sauces until I’ve had some. Tricksy little buggers).

Or maybe I’m just not ready to embrace an extended fast? Had breakfast today and that’s hardly ever required these days. Still, it’s only a day so back to my new normal tomorrow I hope.

I was puzzled by so many BSDers talking about pancakes all of a sudden, not being of a religious background I had to look it up. So apparently on ‘shrove tuesday’ you eat all the stuff like pancakes that you won’t be allowed to eat during ‘lent’ until Easter. And the term Mardi Gras is related, it means Fat Tuesday because you gorge that day! Well, you learn something every day. So do all you (low carb) pancake eaters now give up food items for lent (not much left to give up, surely!) or has pancake day become a separate thing?

I think every time I plan to go on a diet I have a personal Fat Tuesday.

JackieM it sounds normal to me to be extra hungry after a fasting day! Maybe you get used to it.

Hi Natalie – it has religious beginnings but much like Christmas, Halloween and Easter – the meaning has been lost.

If I recall – it’s slightly related to Passover (in terms of preparation) but the Lent part is where you fast as part of a Christian rite.

Then it just became a thing completely separate and unto itself. Pancake Day. Which was a great commercial excuse to sell pancake mix and Nutella. And not in anyway connected to Lent in anything other than name. In fact, Lent became less about fasting and more about giving something up (usually an indulgence) for no defined reason other than ‘it’s Lent so I’m giving up chocolate/Costa coffees/cake’ – much like the way people make New Years Resolutions because you’re supposed to.

I think people only tend to do it if they are part of a church or have been part of a church as a child (even if they don’t worship or even believe now) but it’s just become a challenge they have set themselves rather than any real act of religious devotion. In fact, the actual Christians I know don’t tend to give up stuff for Lent but take stuff up for Lent e.g. #40ActsofKindness.

Whereas the non-practicing Christians I know post Facebook posts about the hardship of giving up garlic bread. However that probably sounds harsh and there are no doubt many Christians who do observe Lent by giving something up and do it in a way that is 100% connected to their faith. I’m just in a cynical mood today and should shut up before I offend anyone.

I stopped giving up things for Lent when I stopped believing in God. But I definitely celebrate pancake day. For many people (myself included) pancake day is the only time you have pancakes. At least at home.

Hi Natalie, I don’t think most people give anything up after Shrove Tuesday. My daughter gave up sugar for half a day, now has modified it to ‘no sugar at school’ which Is pretty easy during the holidays.

Can relate to Fat Tuesdays 😂

Hungry again today, just haven’t been hungry since I started BSD so it’s strange. Also stuff I’ve read suggested hunger goes during fasting, so either I didn’t do it long enough or triggered my insulin levels by eating something. Can’t weigh in to see if it had an effect, certainly have impression I have more ribs now but only very subtly.

Mostly have been left with giant spot on my face and a determination to try again – we have 14hr car journey tomorrow which seems ideal to drink lots of water and not eat. Though family will think I’m weird.

Meanwhile, had early breakfast again, just so I could have plain yoghurt and bring my chia seeds down to breakfast and get a good dose of them. Yum yum yum but not eating to hunger at the moment, which bothers me. No meals planned until they get back from skiing at about 3pm, unless I pop out to buy some 90% Lindt in a bit.

Hi Natalie,

I think pancake day came from the practical idea of using up supplies before lent which couldn’t be stored for use after lent.

Where I come from there was not just the traditional pancake races, where you have races carrying and frying pan and having to keep on tossing a pancake but also the shrove tuesday football match between two villages. All of the village got involved in a ball game which covered the miles between the two villages (which sort of usually turns into a cross between football and rugby rather than just kicking the ball) and has become popular enough that young men from all around the county join in.

Lent it supposed to commemorate (and emulate) Christ going into the wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights. During this time, Christians are not supposed to indulge in things like eggs, butter, flour etc and pancakes were a way of using everything up which was still sitting in the larder, on Shrove Tuesday (day before the start of Lent) It’s called Shrove Tuesday because Christians used to go to confession on that day to be “shriven” (absolved) of their sins before embarking upon Lent.

I have always given up alcohol for Lent (since I was an adult anyway) but as I don’t drink much since embarking on BSD 13 months ago, my granddaughters tell me that I ought to find something more meaningful to give up now. They have always given up chocolate and sweets, have done since they were tiny (now 13 and 17) and always donate the money saved to charity, bless them.

Hi All – happy Friday
This has felt like a very long week so I’m glad it’s Saturday tomorrow.
Lots of discussion about Lent/Shrove Tuesday – Theodora has got it down and sadly so has Shansu. I still see these occasions as having a religious meaning but that has been lost over the years. The over-commercialisation of religious holidays is totally against the actual meaning of the celebration.

Well I’m still looking forward to my pancakes tomorrow morning – I will be stopping in the supermarket on my way home to buy the eggs and cream cheese. I will be so disappointed if I don’t like them.

It’s a beautiful day in London – sun is shining and the park is beckoning.
Keep well all

You’ll nail it, JackieM. And I don’t see it as “hosting” as such, more like throwing open the doors for everyone to come in to the party. And you could probably copy/paste the title as per my previous post, which is what I’ve previously done. BTW, your snow holiday sounds wonderful, enjoy😊

Thanks, Marie, I’ve just realised I haven’t had a bath since my new bathroom was finished late last year. I used to have a bath a couple of times a week (yes, yes, showers every other day, I promise😉), always with 1.5 cups of Epsom salts. Must revive that practice.
Also, others mentioned tonic water. I had a glass of tonic water every day for years. Supposedly it’s for the quinine but I think I would have needed much more than 1 glass for any effect and I can’t say I noticed any. Gave it up bec of so much sugar, then gave up the”diet” variety for too much gack in the ingredients. And before anyone asks about “gack”, say it with stress …. it sounds like I feel about the ingredients in diet drinks😝

Have a good weekend, everyone. MFODAAT xx

Am taking deep breaths, Marsie, I’ll be ready, especially now you’ve pointed out the cut and paste option! In meantime I’ll get the hoover out and Do a little light dusting for the party house – I love that analogy!

Have a good weekend, definitely see you Tuesday!

I shall be joining the next challenge on Tuesday. Great name as usual, Marsie. I didn’t join this challenge and I’ve stayed the same for 4 weeks. So it does certainly help me, to be part of the 4 week challenge. 😀

All the pancake stuff was very interesting! I assume it happens in Australia but I wasn’t really aware of it. Like all the other religious holidays, it means celebrating God to some, and celebrating Food to others! Another of those, Easter, coming up soon.

I’ll be glad of a fresh shiny new challenge, I haven’t done very well with this one!

Thanks, KazzUK, the title is a beauty isn’t it, and credit to JackieM this month. After suggestions and refinements from a few people Jackie came up with the punchiest👏👏.
I’m almost afraid to put this in writing for fear of jinxing the good place I’ve been in recently … this morning I broke through the 60kg barrier. Only a tad, 59.9kg and realistically, with Chinese banquet tonight, it may not stay there but I have hopes for our end-of-challenge weigh-in on Tuesday. I had said I’d like to get to 60kg. Fingers crossed xx

MFODAAT

So it’s the wee hours of Sat morning and I’ve just got home from A&E again where my OH was admitted at about 2.30 this morning. He was recovering fine when I left him (the doc wasn’t going to be round for at least 4 hrs so I wanted him to sleep until then) but still unclear what happened.

I’m exhausted physically, mentally and any other way it’s possible to be exhausted. To say I’m struggling to cope is an understatement. There was already so much change and stress in my life and my OH’s recent health ordeals are pushing me over the edge. I’m finding it so hard to cope.

I was just feeling a bit stronger earlier today (well yesterday I guess), which is why I posted earlier and went back to counting calories and now I’m lower than before. I’m just going to curl into a ball and cry for awhile.

Again sorry for venting here – no one else is up.

Shansu you vent as much as you want, that’s what we’re here for. I’m so sorry to hear about your difficulties. A&E is not a nice place especially overnight – why do these things always happen at night! I spent a few nights in A&E when my father was ill so I know how grim it can be.

You are doing amazingly well coping with this. I’m sending you a very big virtual bearhug. You are a strong woman and will get through this.
❤️

Shanshu so sorry to hear your OH is not well, I’m sending you a big virtual hug 🤗
I never know what to say in times like this. I have been there myself a few times. Try to remember that although this is happening now, and it’s hard, one day soon you’ll be on the other side of it, and this will all be in the past. Sometimes all we can do is to focus on getting through each hour, then each day.
Maybe you shouldn’t worry about counting calories while you are under so much stress, and just stick to the principles and eat nourishing, healthy food, so that you stay healthy. You can always go back to counting calories when things settle down again.
Take care of yourself and I hope your OH is on the mend soon x

Cream cheese pancakes are amazing 😋

Shanshu – Gattina and SueBlue have expressed my thoughts perfectly so will just send you a big hug from me, too. Take care. Marie xx

So sorry to hear about your OH being in hospital Shanshu, – another hug coming from this direction again. Please do vent as you need to on this forum, you have loads of shoulders available to cry on if you need it.