Hi everyone. I was so thrilled at doing this diet. I lost over 3 stone and was starting to feel normal again.Then I went on holiday and indulged, and it just continued when I returned and now I am fatter than when I started.
My problem is I cant handle what I feel is being deprived of chocolate, cakes etc. I am so good and can lose the weight, but as soon as I start to see a result, something switches off and I slip into my old habits, but even more so. I can never keep the weight off.
Could I have moderate carbs or sweets and still lose weight or do I have to go cold turkey?
I feel pathetic even writing this as I should be stronger but I just cant seem to keep it off.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks in advance from someone who feels ashamed weak and pathetic.

Oh dear Vieled1, you are not allowed to be so down on yourself here. Pull yourself back up and give yourself a pat on the back for coming back here. You have proved you can do it by losing 3 stone so you can do it again. You have an all or nothing approach to your diet. You are on a diet or you are not. You dont have any chocolate or you eat 3 bars then you think you have blown it so you give up completely.
Starting from the premise that you dont have any major health issues so are losing weight for your own reasons – feeling, looking better, and so on and not worried about a quick fix.
You have to change the way you think about eating and what you do when things go astray. I have just said this to my daughter when she recently bought the book and said she couldn’t bear the thought of giving up (in her case it is gin, lager, burgers and pizza or general takeaways when she comes home tired) but you have to think of all the nice things you can have. Think of being good 80% of the time and when you go off plan, forget about it, it is over. Try to remember you dont have to deprive yourself and if you feel like having a biscuit, have it. BUT only have a planned amount – one or two. Put them on a nice plate and sit down with a cup of tea or coffee and really enjoy them. Dont be tempted to have more or finish the packet. That is it, you have not been deprived, you have had your treat so you can carry on with the diet guilt free.
Another thing I do is try to remember all the good things that will come from sticking with the plan. Nice clothes, feeling great, being healthy. Stick some pictures of clothes you like in a notebook. Visualise where you want to be in say, 6 months or a year. Look upon the diet as something that is specially for you. I do that with exercise. Think of it as ‘me time’ and time that is going to benefit me. Dont be so hard on yourself and relax. I know people think mindfulness is a bit airy fairy but it can give you time to think about things.

Hello veiled1, and welcome to the community! You are neither weak or pathetic, but simply can’t process carbs
and sugar! Many of us here who used to be fat tend to be black and white, all or nothing thinkers. You will meet
many new friends who have been where you are today, and the BSD is the way out of yo yoing and freedom at
last from this situation. Since you have done this before with much success, you already are way ahead of the
game. I lost 145lbs, and have kept it off for @ 1 1/2 years. What made all the difference for me was to accept early
on that carbs and sugar were addictive substances, there was no eating them in moderation for me. My weight
loss took 10 months to accomplish, and at the end of it my tastes had changed so dramatically that I had no
desire to return to those things. The longer you can banish them, the easier it gets 🙂 This is a caring and
nurturing place, and there is no judgement here. Support is in the air, so just shout out if you’re having a wobble,
and one of us will come running. You can do this!

Allie

Thankyou so much sunshine-girl and alliecat. I am grateful that you didn’t tell me to get a grip. I do feel a bit like a carb or sugar addict. I tend to think that if I have had say one biscuit, oh well I have blown it now, and I continue then on a downward spiral. I know it is this behaviour that has turned me into a yo yo dieter. I am so bored of dieting. Spending 9 months getting thin, then 3 months getting fat again. I am bored with myself doing this. Each year I am doing this.I decided to really try this time and not think too much about it if I fall off the band wagon every once in a while. I will try and reset my mind to say that its over and carry on being good. I need to do this as I know how good it feels to fit into my clothes again.
I shall visit often to update on my progress if I may.
Thankyou

Oh yes, veiled1! Please stay in touch! It helps you and helps us too. We do this together, and that’s part of the
journey! Very best to you 🙂

Allie

Hi Vieled1 – I too would like to extend a warm welcome to you. Discarding the weight is a very different thing to continued maintenance and many find that much more challenging, so you are definitely not alone. And I think society has somehow convinced us that you DIET to loose weight and then can just return to NORMAL eating and everything will be okay. Unfortunately you have discovered what we all need to learn, which is that this is not true, if we want to maintain at a lower weight, we have to adjust both our approach to food and our mindset.
You have proved you can discard the pounds and you will do so again and we are happy to be part of that process, by offering support and encouragement, so please don’t limit yourself to just one thread on the forum, do join any that resonates with you.
We’ll be looking forward to reading about your progress and offering advice and congratulations as appropriate.

Hi, It is hard breaking away from the addictive pull of carbs. The one piece of advice I would give is to think of in terms of working out your WHY. You have to have a reason or aim which is stronger than the pull of picking up a piece of comfort food. – The reading on the scales is not necessarily going to be strong enough to overcome your craving for carbs, but there will be something from an activity you want to enjoy, to how you want to look that is.

Welcome Veiled1 — how brave of you to come back and try again! That is your “healthy self” moving you back to this way of eating — it is the same part of you that is finally going to rock this.
I have always said that we have to LEARN how to do the BSD — for most of us it is a whole different mind-set. You obviously have learned how to lose the weight, now you only need learn some tricks for maintaining the loss.
Allie mentioned above that you might be suffering from the black/white or good/bad mindset. The research on this is really fascinating — that “all or nothing” mindset is very common amongst overweight people and the research suggests that it derails us— we eat something that wasn’t on plan, that’s being “bad”, so we’ve already “blown” it so why not continue to eat.
The most helpful thing I discovered was UNDERSTANDING what was going on in my body — I had to understand the underlying PHYSICAL part of it to come to grips with the mental side of it.
Have you had a chance yet to look at Dr. Bikman’s and Dr. Fungs podcasts? (Just Google them, they are free). Both of these doctors are doing cutting edge research on how your hormones are driving your food selections (which can lead to overeating).
I particularly like the Bikman podcasts — I have listened to all of them at least five times.
The other recommendation that I have is to get a copy of Gary Taubes book, “Why we Get Fat and What To Do About It” — his research supports Bikman’s.
You are clearly good at the diet part, but you might just need a little mental ammunition to stay there mentally after achieving your goals.
Both of those have helped me keep to BSD-friendly foods in maintenance — because now I truly understand that I have to control my carbohydrate intake to control my appetite.
Don’t give up! Keep us posted!
You are going to amaze yourself!

So, I’m obviously not out on a hot date for Valentine’s Day… but these forums are so interesting! Today (Thurs) is my one day in an office (in case anyone is interested, I’m a lawyer – many years in very pressurised City practice, now I do one day a week in house in a manufacturing company and a couple of days from home on technical “black letter” law consultancy). My prior experience of “dieting” – and I have piled on weight post menopause – was the low fat, just a little bit of pasta etc variety (yes WW I’m looking at you…). “Just a little bit”just escalated to piles of the stuff in my case. The body and mind reset is really fascinating.

Hi Sixturkeys! Yup, I’m not out for Valentines either — we are eating swordfish at home tonight because Thursdays are my big day at the office, I’m a lawyer too! Only practicing part time now!
Yes — take the time to connect all the research out there and definitely check out the podcasts — the world of dieting has shifted under our feet but the stupid old WW and Slimming World (or whatever the equivalent) have not caught on to the new research.
I was like you, more and more weight after menopause and no solution in sight. Once I started to understand the research and how I needed to control my insulin levels, everything just fell into place (well, with some adjustments because I seem to be a slow learner on the BSD front) — but now, I am just reaching my third year in this plan and I still can’t believe how simple it is and how much of the wrong food I used to eat.
I actually feel bad for my body and brain, all that carby junk. Well, better late than never!