Don’t know why but I just want to cry. Everything is going so well, diet under control, contacted an old friend I’m going to meet up with next month, started up my French classes again next week, family all well. Then tonight I asked hubby if he would make dinner, skinny chilli then found I had forgotten to buy mushrooms after spending €45 on veg yesterday, forgotten to buy red kidney beans after spending €74 on other food stuff today. Poor lad had to compromise which he is not good at, found some dried morrels in the back of a cupboard (still in date) and ended up making a bolognaise but I felt so bad. I am always so organised and it puts me out of my comfort zone when I cock things up.

Maybe it is because I have had family around me and they have all gone home and the novelty of a quiet, tidy house has gone. I am so lucky and have a pool in my garden but I looked at it today and didn’t want to swim, but I did anyway, because I would feel guilty if I didn’t. I am finding this such hard work, so much planning and thinking, I want someone to do it all for me, but there is only me and it is for me that I am doing it.

I think I will go have a rather large vodka and tonic, but then I will feel guilty. What the hell, I’m going to have one anyway.

Sorry for being miserable, it is not like me.

ONLY a vodka and tonic, sunshine-girl – goodness me GO TO THE CORNER! You are SO SO BAD for not shopping properly. Call yourself a SHOPPER? Incompetent is what I call you. You are letting down all the perfect people on here who never make any mistakes. NEVER.

Your vodka could have been a chocolate bar, three doughnuts or a loaf!! We will forgive you the vodka BUT ONLY IF YOU FORGIVE YOURSELF!!!

When you’re down you’re down. Counting your blessings (though you’ve certainly got a few) doesn’t necessarily help, and can make you feel even more guilty.

LET THOSE KIDNEY BEANS GO!!!!!

I’d have a relaxing bath and a decent night’s sleep. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 [[virtual hug]]

Thanks Igor, I guess I need a kick up the bum. Notice Verano is feeling stressed too. Thank you for the hug. I think things can accumulate, like family going home, planning a trip, trying to keep to plan and it builds up. I guess I don’t like being out of control and I pride myself on getting things done.

I have been going through something for the past 4 years which has just come to a conclusion and moves me into a different chapter in my life, so maybe that has suddenly hit me. I’m sure after 1 or 2 (see how it has gone up) vodkas and a good nights sleep I will feel better in the morning.

You dont need a kick up the bum SUNSHINE….you just need some big hugs! And like IGOR said, you need a nice deep bubble bath and a deep sleep x
AND to not expect too much of yrself xx
You really put yrself under a lot of pressure trying to make everything perfect – my DD is the same.
But you know what? Life aint perfect and neither are we humans!

Whatever else has been going on the last 4 years has no doubt contributed to this too – even if its good change,it can still be very stressful.
AND youre missing the family but probably exhausted after spending time with them
Just cut yrself some slack..come here and have a rant whenever you need..i guess most of us here can empathise coz we all have tearful,overtired times that make us weepy and sad! So theres always somebody around to listen and cheer you on when things are going well,give a gentle cyber squeezey hug when not.

DITTO to VERANO XX hope youre ok xx hugs!
First week of BSD i felt so serene after the carbs had left my system..but I must admit ive felt kinda grizzly and grumpy today..bsd is great but i agree with you SSG there are times it gets tedious counting cals,carbs etc! X

sunshine-girl, so sorry to hear you’re feeling down. I’ve drawn real inspiration from posts on here that you have written, so feel I should give a cyber-hug back. Hope you feel better soon.

Morning sunshine girl – I hope that you’ve woken up to a sunnier day 🙂

Morning Sunshine Girl. Ditto to all the above; I hope things are looking brighter today.

Hope you’re having a better day today,don’t beat yourself up.Think of all the good things you’ve done ,we all forget things.

Like everyone else, I’m hoping things don’t look as gloomy today and you are feeling a bit sunnier and more positive. Just know positive thoughts are with you, whether you are posting or not. Have a great w/e.

Good evening, I had a few voddies last night and really didn’t feel any better for it (that guilt thing again). Got up this morning and decided to have a bit of a pamper. Epilated my legs, they really needed it as last time I was in a rush and shaved, lots of spiky regrowth. Plastered my hair in a hot oil treatment and left it on while I showered and gave myself a body scrub, then rinsed and washed my hair and put on nice clothes, nothing slobby. Yesterday I had been walking round in a pair of peddle pushers that looked more like plus fours (baggy around the arse). And a top that not long ago was waist length but now my bust and stomach are out of the way it was nearly to my knees. They are going in the recycle bag.

This afternoon I went to look for a jacket I had seen on line but they didn’t have any left, all the summer stuff has gone now. So I browsed the reduced (price not size) rail and found a mustard lace top and a pair of tight white trousers with a mustard, green and yellow op art pattern. €54 for both BUT I got them for €30. Although they are still a size 16 and I am now in a 14 they were in a shop similar to Top Shop where the sizes are 10 times smaller than a normal human takes so I am happy with my purchases and they will take me into Autumn before I get out the black jeans.

I am not going for a swim today, even though it is 27 degrees outside. I don’t have to if I don’t want to. And I bought myself an expensive bottle of white wine which I will enjoy without guilt, maybe tomorrow evening.

Thank you all for your good wishes and cheering me up. Just a blip, a bump in the road and if this eating plan is my life from now on I am going to enjoy it and not suffer just to lose another llb. I will get there at my own pace. I am going to stay off the site until Monday and stay off the scales as well.

Thanks again.

There is a P.S. to that, I went into the biggest fruit and veg store in France, Grand Frais, to buy some mushrooms for my Sunday brunch and they had sold out. I really had to laugh.

Now that is what I call retail therapy! Have a good weekend. See you Monday.

Hi sunshine-girl

Guess it must be Monday now!!! Hope you’re feeling a lot ‘lighter and brighter’ in yourself especially after you have enjoyed that lovely bottle of white!

I read this thread with tears in my eyes. Just seemed to hit home. I guess quite a few of us here are in out third quarter century! We all have baggage to carry and whilst we probably have lots of good things in our lives we also have burdens of various weights (no pun intended !)

My story is pretty short … 9 years ago I contracted septicaemia, lost my hip, was in a wheelchair for 18 months, had a hip replacement but can now only walk with crutches. Ok, so the good news is I survived, I have some mobility, even if it is vastly diminished, and I have a good life generally. But, as with the rest of us, l’m only human and do get really frustrated at times with being dependent on others, to a certain degree, and not being able to do all the things I want to.

Sunshine-girl we all beat ourselves up because we’re not perfect …. do you really know anyone that is!!!!

I think we should allow ourselves the odd ‘blue’ times because without them we can’t appreciate the good things in our lives .

Why are we here????

All of us want to lose weight. Lots of us want to improve our diabetes/pre diabetes and come off medication. It’s a chicken and egg situation …. we need to lose weight to improve our health but that involves a whole new way of thinking and doing. We are non of us perfect, even if we think we are, and so after a lifetime, for many of us, of yo-yo dieting trying every quick fix under the sun we have eventually arrived here !

We know this makes sense, we know it works but we will all fall by the wayside at times. I think the secret I’d to get back on the horse as quickly as possible when you fall off and no more beating ourselves up for the odd lapse …. after all we are only human.

Thank you all for being part of this great community and being there to listen when times get rough.

Sorry to ramble but I do feel much better now that I’ve ‘ put pen to paper’ and I hope you do to sunshine-girl!!

Hi Verano
Losing weight must be really tough when you have less mobility – and having the rest of us witter on about how many steps we’ve done must get really frustrating.
Not rambling – helping the rest of us see things in a more positive light!
Best wishes

Hi Frog

You know I’m used to my limitations so I know I can’t do 10000 steps …. Maybe in a week!!!!

My real frustration is not being able to run after my grandchildren!!!! But hey I still have them and we can always make Lego or do jigsaws!!!!

Thank you for reading/listening.

Hi sunshine-girl

Hope you had a good weekend and are feeling brighter this week.

New week new start !

Hi Sunshine-girl, Verano, and everyone.

Guilt sucks … ‘just indulge the food not the guilt and climb back onto the wagon!

Wishing you all a wonderful day. Hope Wayne Dyer is right … Believing is Seeing!! 🙂

I have a head of steam up right now so i’m going to ride it as long as possible … even though i’ve had minor speedbumps, headaches, sore legs and back … but on the whole it’s been worth sticking to it. I know there are more speedbumps ahead but i do love these forums for inspiration and encouragement.

Keep on keeping on!!

Sit back and take a breath. I find it helpful to sit quietly and repeat “Every day in every way I am getting better and better.” 25 times which is about 5-6 minutes. I relax and can face all the things to do. On a practical note, I keep a crock pot of vegetable lentil soup that can be warmed up any time and is always a filling dinner with few calories and lentils seem to lower blood sugar. Throw a little virgin olive oil in too. I even keep some frozen in the freezer for emergency dinners when really tired after the day. Hang in there you are succeeding.

Hi all, thanks for your good wishes, Verano, you put me to shame although I know you don’t mean to. Having something wrong with you sucks, I hate being a diabetic, I hate injecting every night but most of all I hate all the things that could happen to me in the future if I don’t take care now. My doctor always praises me for being the perfect patient (see, perfect) and I try my best in everything I do, nothing in half measures. I have realised that this is not a diet for me, it is my life and if I am going to enjoy it I will have to ease off now and then and let myself relax.

Although I was feeling better after my shopping trip I decided to chill through the weekend and not feel I had to eat or do anything. Funny, once the pressure was off I still kept to the diet and I swam Friday, Saturday and Sunday for longer than normal (40 mins each time) and did 2 sessions of HIIT although my HIIT is only 30 seconds long with 60 seconds rest each time.

I did drink the bottle of wine over Saturday and Sunday and didn’t feel guilty in the slightest. Got up this morning thinking must get weighed and face the damage. Well, hello, I have lost weight – only .2 of a kilo but still.

Plan B post first 8 weeks is to take it slow, keep my blood glucose down and slowly lose some weight. I set myself a goal of 3kg in the 2nd 8 weeks but I don’t need to. Yes I am overweight but not massively so.

I notice that people are using my catch phrase so I will live up to what I say and KEEP ON KEEPING ON.

that’s great Sunshine Girl – glad that you’re feeling better, and hope you find a post 8 week maintenance plan that works for you!
I must look into HIIT exercise – there was a thing on it in MM’s Trust me I’m a doctor last week.

Hi Frog, I’m still doing the 800 BSD not a maintenance plan, I still want to get blood glucose down to 6.0 on HBA1c and still want to keep losing weight. I am not so much in a hurry with the weight but it is bound to come off anyway if I am having 800 cal with 50 carbs. My plan is not to make it a competition with myself, if I lose I lose. I did an average on my morning b/g for the last 10 days and, even including the 131 days I am running at an average of 5.9 so that is looking promising.

The HIIT is really funny, I run on the spot as fast and I can with arms going like the clappers for 30 seconds. 30 seconds is a long time when you are not that fit, although I swim every day, it is a different exercise. I then walk on the spot for 60 seconds and repeat 3 times. I don’t even know what it is supposed to do except replace the daily slog, but I love my daily swim so will only give that up when the weather gets cooler and we have to close the pool. It is 36 degrees here today, too hot to get in just yet. Will swim later when the sun is off the water.

Sorry Sunshine Girl – I misunderstood the first bit – glad that your sticking with it!
It is very easy to try to be “too perfect”, or get frustrated because you aren’t losing as fast as someone else.

I must try the HIIT – there is a gym in the basement of the building, so I could go down there – like you, I enjoy (in my case walking rather than swimming), but it would be good to do that too, especially for days when there is more time pressure.
36 degrees – I’d be dripping! – and probably be in a pool rather than walking 🙂

I’ve probably been overthinking it – where can I find a trainer/buy a book – to do it perfectly of course
(I must get my BSD book back – after I’d read it I passed it on to someone else that was interested)

Frog, the book is not so good for HIIT advice, same with this site. If you go onto the web site for Trust Me Im A Doctor, they give the home version there but it is too hard for me. They want 3 reps of running, 3 reps of star jumps, 3 reps of something else. I will just stick to doing my bits and hopefully seeing an improvement in stamina and maybe increase the seconds over time. Again, no hurry.

36 degrees is hot but it is a dry heat so no dripping. I want to make the most of it as it will start to cool down next week and the pool temperature soon goes down. We will be going on holiday mid October so it will be closed up before then. In the meantime I will enjoy it.

Sunshine-girl

Good to see you back! No my intention certainly wasn’t to put you, of anyone else, to shame …. life is what it is for all of us.

I’m so pleased that you have come to the realisation that this is a plan for life and that it’s not a race to see who can lose the most in the shortest possible time! It is a ‘life’ plan and as such we do actually have to ‘live’ and that means fitting the eating plan into our lives and not vice versa, although that being said, we do have to stick to the main principles most of the time !

I’m going to start a new thread in the hope that others who are feeling less than ‘perfect’ can relax a little into their new life plan!

Good for you Verano, I look forward to your new thread. I am not going to cram my life into 8 week blocks, it is too much pressure. While I was ‘on my break’ I still ate to plan, yesterday had steak with pepper sauce (full fat creme fraiche of course) and served with cauli mash while hubby had boiled potatoes. Maybe we can put this thread to bed, no more feeling sorry for myself, it is what it is. Life.

Well said!!

Come over to ‘living the life on the plan’

Great to see that you are feeling more positive now sunshine-girl and that you have formulated a way that you can live with the BSD. It is definitely a lifestyle, not a diet and so we each have to formulate how we can make it work for us.
So glad you are feeling you can now put this tread to bed and move on now sunshine-girl – as someone else says, ‘onwards and downwards’.