DUCKIE's ADDITIONAL POSITIVE AMMUNITION

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  • posted by WoodDuckie
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    Well firstly . . . because I took a risk and just “did” the click on “New Topic” . . . not knowing where exactly it would lead or land . . . . . . – thank you if you have arrived here and are reding! πŸ™‚ I wrote elsewhere of terminology, and how it can change our inner energies. One was to do with “discard” our weight . . . rather than “lose” or “drop”. (Discard brings pictures of disposing of rather than dropping – (to be picked up sometime down the track!) – and losing – ( needing to be found again!) – !) “Diet” sounds restrictive, confining – even depriving! But when . . turned to “way of eating” . . . “choice of food” it becomes something of which we are in charge. We are making “the choices” – not someone dictating what we need or should be doing! Another today was about “admission” and following up with a “decision”. So I thought I take a shot at some more examples. Maybe they will help/make a difference to someone . . . maybe they wont. BUT . . . . . if I dont share, it just simply “cant!”
    OK! So . . . . here goes my first shot at changing vocabulary for more positive outlooks and gaining inner strength. CHORE and CHALLENGE. CHORE immediately conjures up a picture of something boring, mundane, difficult drudgery, repeated behaviour, our own necessity or someone else’s direction of a HAVE TO DO! . . . etc.. CHALLENGE on the other hand, immediately conjures up visions of a MUST DO or at least MUST HAVE A GO!. Change the terminology to “Ive chosen to take on this challenge” . . . and we empower ourselves to be in charge of the plan. We all like to be winners. WE can then OWN the results with feelings of achievement . . . while KNOWING we have gained the results or knowledge from the choices of our own volition. We KNOW with whatever small changes we witness, we now have the tools, to make further choices – to tweak and refine, or change tack – for further or better results. Not just MAKING but OWNING the results of our choices is empowering. Do hope someone gets my drift . . . (in the past Ive been accused of too much deep thinking and being outside the box but hey! I dont mind the view out here πŸ™‚ so . . . I’d appreciate whatever feedback is drawn by me taking this RISK to play with words πŸ™‚

  • posted by Verano
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    WoodDuckie I’m so pleased you have started this thread. It’s amazing how the choice of words we use can influence our behaviour so much. Chore v Challenge … very interesting.
    I suggested last week turning β€˜happy hour’ into β€˜wrecking hour’. After all what’s happy about it …. we wreck our way of eating, wreck our liver and wreck our resolve !
    Somewhere I was reading about β€˜just’ so it would be good if the writer could repeat the post here.

  • posted by SunnyB
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    Hi Woodie and Verano – nuero-linguistics is fascinating and there is no double that our internal dialogue and personal phrasing, can have hugely positive or negative impact on our wellbeing and our decision process.

    It was me who mentioned the ‘just’ as an excuse or permission to eat or drink something we know we shouldn’t. The mention was in connection with our eldest daughter who claims to be low carb (I think mainly as she no longer takes sugar in coffee now) but when talking about what she actually eats, it’s littered with ‘I just have ne slice of bread’, ‘just a couple of biscuits’,’just a few potatoes’ etc. etc.

    Somehow the ‘just’ excuses the transgression, or even gives us permission to transgress as in ‘well I’ll just have the ONE glass of wine’ or ‘I’ll just one chocolate biscuit with coffee’. As you say Woodie, it’s about choice, but it’s also about the vocabulary we are using in that decision process that has significance.

  • posted by Verano
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    Yes SunnyB your β€˜just’ post really resonated with me. β€˜Just’ really does seem to excuse a transgression!

  • posted by SunnyB
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    Yes, ‘just’ some how minimises or makes something less significant doesn’t it? A bit like ‘only’ – ‘it’s only one little cake’, or ‘I only have chips if I’m eating out’ – that kind of thing. I guess to some extent, we all fall foul of these excusers (was going to say ‘we are all guilty of …..’ there, but stopped to think about the negativity in that phrase!). Think you’ve really started something here Woodie!

  • posted by wendleg
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    Oooh I am so glad WoodDuckie started this post . It’s fascinating.I am a linguist and words have always resonated with me much more than numbers.
    I hate reading posts where people talk about being ‘good’ or ‘bad’ . We are not bad people for goodness sake. We’re not “bad” for making an off plan choice. I would love to tackle the issue of guilt too, that is so destructive. We are not on trial ! Another term I hate is the use of the word ‘failure ‘ as if we are somehow doing an exam which we can only pass or “fail.”
    You are absolutely right Sunny. Our choice of vocabulary and internal dialogue can have a massive impact on our self esteem and well being.
    Let’s banish the negative !

  • posted by SunnyB
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    Like you, words have always resonated with me too, wendleg – numbers are still a mystery! Yes, failure is one that bug me too and thinking about it, I believe a lot of the negative terminology has been fed to us over the years by slimming organisations, which I think many of us have had in our lives at some point along the way.

    I don’t like to read posts where someone says they have ‘failed’ because they let things get away from them for a day or so. I’m not sure there is a really good word to replace failure in this context though, but my preferred term is ‘transgressed’ which for me implies a recognition of poor decisions, but with full intent on getting on track and moving ahead in the right direction again.

    Hopefully we can influence the negative language used by our fellow posters.

  • posted by WoodDuckie
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    OK BSD’rs πŸ™‚ Today Im referring to us all as BS-WoE’ers! “Diet” is officially off limits. It will go with the other words we will all compile a list of . . . – (some obvious – others with very subtle but still negative energy) – attached. Like “failed” “failure” and “loss” – (which can also make us feel sad right?) – ALL are invited to compile a list! Maybe someone can create the file/thread which will have an appropriate heading for quick reference please πŸ™‚
    The word pairing for today is BELIEF/REALITY:
    Belief is what we have been led to believe!!! Or have been indoctrinated with through various means to believe something to be so. BUT . . . the REALITY may be/usually is – the complete opposite. Belief may be a variation of or only part of the reality. Either way if we “believe” a bogie man will get us, we arent going to relax for much of our lives are we? Highly negative driving/governing unseen constraining force. Imagine someone who BELIEVES they are inferior through being told they are – “ugly/fat/”four eyes” different/short/too tall/cant dance so arent fun/divorced/unmarried – the list goes on . . . and these comments and statements have been delivered during upbringing, schooling, friendships, bullying, brainwashing or chastising etc.. Reality may never come their way . . . how sad. Thats why that adage of “believe you can do it” is OK . . .and great !!! BUT we must first clear the underlying belief which had us doubting ourselves in the first place! Have a GREAT weekend!

  • posted by wendleg
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    I am with you 100% on this, WoodDuckie !

  • posted by WoodDuckie
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    Well Ive been reading posts for HOURS this morning . . . simply because the humidity after three thunderstorms yesterday is frightful – and the open window by my comp allowing the slight breeze which passes over the hideous perspiration which is just dripping from my person to give some relief . . . Maybe TMI but there it is!!! During the reading process, more words have come forward from the sharings . . . and these are . . . ACTION/REACTION.

    One counters the other obviously. For every ACTION there is a REACTION. If you touch a hot stove you jump . . . if one eats icecream . . .? (many of us either) balloon or raise BSL’s! ACTION is (usually) a chosen voluntary thing. Deliberate. Intended. (as opposed to involuntary thing like falling over! – we dont deliberately take that action unless in karate or jujitsu class maybe!) When someone else takes/makes an action . . . towards us . . . it is automatic for us to REACT. Its survival and resistant . . . protection from attack. If they are deliberately goading, judging, condemning or demeaning . . . obviously we are going to hurt or feel slighted . . . and in doing so we (seem to) absorb that negative energy being directed at a sore spot . . . and immediately go into *resistance/*defense/*protective or even *retaliation mode and REACT. Now imagine a tennis match . . . The server dishes up the ACTION . . . despite whatever form our *reactions take, we return the ball to the server!!! And give them another chance to take aim a second time. Now we can respond/return for another shot to be taken or . . . we can hit a clear winner and stop the action instigator . . . and quell our reaction. It may be a simple as advising the director of the serve “we wont play this game . . .(anymore if it has been going on for some time!) – tell them “I recognise how you “bait me” and it isnt happening anymore!” – or simply “when youre perfect then do your best to change me”. If the ball isnt returned there isnt a game. The controlling person has nothing to play with but his serve. And with no return for effort, the game soon turns boring. Reclaim of a measure of self-esteem is the gain here . . . and some reassurance we know we are worth standing up for. πŸ™‚ Have a great week everyone!

  • posted by WoodDuckie
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    Ive been thinking on my last post here and we also need to mindful that our REACTIONS can be VERY painful if what is being directed at us is truth which we have been denying, ignoring or avoiding. Ive loooed back over my life and found people who were needed just happened t turn up when that need arose . . . or were there to support me through something and the disappeared. Someone referred me to the poem a Reason a Season a Lifetime. May I suggest a google search, find it and read it in a quiet moment when it a be assessed from an individual perspective. Perhaps our reactions to someones action is because they have arrived in our lifetime to deliver an important message . . . and wake us up to something we need to do for ourselves. Sometimes the kick in the butt needs to come from a loved one to awaken us with a bigger impact than a stranger passing by who we would be more likely to ignore. Ive definitely had some very private instances, where Ive been awakened with vivid fleeting unexpected moments containing some very few and simple words or an action which were life-changing for the way I saw myself. Ever heard the phrase . . .”out of the blue . . . this or this happened/was said /was read/was seen . . .?” They are AWAKENING moments. Accept them as gifts . . . signposts . . . if they are resonating, then they are for you!! Food for thought πŸ™‚

  • posted by WoodDuckie
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    its 3am and Im unable to sleep . . . so my electronic companion is a last resort go to for draining my brain which might help. Ive done todays trivia puzzles, a crossword, finished my WWF turns and run out of “hearts/lives” in Candy Valley. Now its been catching up on postings before feeling maybe its time to direct the brain to uncovering more ammunition. Just two short things to ponder:
    I KNOW many have done clever things with acrostic poem principles. (I’m no supernerd or wordsmith . . . JUST discovered what this is called . . . ty Dr Google!!!) Here are two examples Im putting forward. . . because others may have shared some in the past πŸ™‚
    FEAR = Future Expectations Appearing Real. We can conjure up a fear of something before we are even confronted with the problem. (eg: a dentist visit. Thinking we are going for extractions, root canal therapy, etc and then only need a descaling and polish! The FEAR we created was unfounded and unwarranted. Sapped our energy and concentration for the time leading up to the visit . . . (I do believe this is where Im at now . . . last week I was hesitant-putting off going to have the necessary bloods drawn. The relief after it was done confirmed that. Now Im repeating the same behaviour with the pending endo visit a few days away. Lack of sleep can cause blips in the eating programme . . . weight stagnancy . . . distraction to tasks, fidgeting . . . lack of concentration. Hmm think Im my own therapist right now πŸ™‚ . . .

    and then there is my own acrostic poem created during my panic and confusion when first my HbA1c was checked. Doing my best to be helpful, I handed a copy to both the GP and Diabetic Nurse . . . . (both of whom received it with equal disinterest!!!) –
    DIABETES: Dont Ingest ANYTHING Before Examining The Elusive Sugars. Sugar by any other name is still a sugar – (of sorts!) Cant get way from that fact. Who would have thought oatmeal, onions, passionfruit, broccoli could be harboring culprits?
    More next time on TRYING!
    Well on that note – its now 3.20am . . . I going to make an effort to return to my bed, still my mind and rest πŸ™‚ HAGD!

  • posted by skittle
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    “nuero-linguistics is fascinating and there is no double that our internal dialogue and personal phrasing, can have hugely positive or negative impact on our wellbeing and our decision process.”

    This is so true – in the field of behaviour change, very small language changes can have a big impact.

    A friend of mine is a YouTube vlogger and also lost 4 stone on the Cambridge Weight Plan. She has lots of smart things to say about her weight loss – a phrase she used really resonates with me when my saboteur demons start getting noisy:

    “Set myself a self-love challenge and show up every day”.

    That’s how I’m seeing this WOE – a self-love challenge. It’s really helping me, hope it will help you too!

  • posted by WoodDuckie
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    Good morning from downunder skittle! I was so buoyed by your response when I opened my mail! And oh the fancy terminology !!!! Brain Gymnastics! And all this time I thought I wasnt doing any exercise!!!! Thank you for sharing your motto: Kinda like “Saddle up . . . show up and do your best”. If one does that we ALWAYS know we intentionally gave “it” our all – (whatever “it” may be!) Having knowingly done and accepted our best is always SO SATISFYING . . . – because it can cut out – (or at least erode) – the doubting, distracting grey area of doubt. . .”could I have done better” – or “what if’s . . .” , weakens the ties of comparison and judgement, while pushing EXPECTATION into the background – and in doing so builds self-esteem and trust. Woohoo! Have a great day :).

  • posted by WoodDuckie
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    Hi Everyone! Long time since I added something here so . . . I think I mentioned “TRYING” was next to be addressed. If we TRY to do something it actually takes more energy . . . a very good friend show me why. I was asked to TRY and pick a pen up from a tabletop. Of course I just reached forward and picked it up smugly reporting THAT WAS EASY!!! I was quickly told that what I had just done was NOT trying . . . I had simply JUST DONE IT. A very simple picture . . . trying was almost reaching, almost gripping, straining muscles to (kinda) AVOID . . . (picking up the pen . . .) when simply DOING it was so much easier than TRYING! . . .( to pick up the pen) πŸ™‚ So we put into a negative gear whatever we are about “to do”, by saying well Ill try. Or Ill give it a try. Give yourself a break and simply DO it. Whatever “it” is. And whatever the result it will be our best and a learning curve. There is no right or wrong result . . . only positive. Remember, we learn from experiences and results . . . with gaining knowledge . . . with which we also regain self-respect and self esteem by regaining a little of what we have for years previously been (maybe unwittingly) chipping and eroding ourselves . . or allowing others to have a share in πŸ™‚ Quack! Quack!!! xx

  • posted by Violinist
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    Well, it is 3 am and I have been up since 2 am! But have no fear! You guys are great company! I like your words skilltle and woodduckie!

  • posted by SunnyB
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    An interesting one Duckie. ‘Trying’, even has a feel of potential failure about it doesn’t it? ‘I’ll try ….’ somehow suggests ‘I probably won’t succeed’. You’re right that just ‘doing’ has a much more positive and natural feel about it. If we ‘do’, we take definite and decisive action. So for inner dialogue ‘I’m going to … ‘ or ‘I will do that.’ feels more dynamic than ‘I’ll try to …. ‘, Certainly one to bear in mind.

  • posted by WoodDuckie
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    Simple small words . . . BIG difference in energies πŸ™‚
    “CAN” and “DO”. Even used as a double act they are fraught with and smack of avoidance πŸ™‚ We have all no doubt heard of the woulda/shoulds/coulda trio and their cousin what if sometimes joins them πŸ™‚ (We woulda . . . but/if only . . . we shoulda but/if only . . . we coulda if only/ but . . .)! ALWAYS referring to someone or something else which “invisibly prevented” us from actioning something. What if is classic . . . we dont KNOW and will never learn if we constantly ask What IF? and never actually DO!!! “CAN” is similar. Yes we CAN do it – (we all know we CAN, its simply a matter of how well . . . but we wont now that either if we constantly stand on the corner of making a Decision Drive and Progession Parade with cousin What If!!) . . . but . . . do we actually WANT to do it . . . or NEED to do it is the next question? Oh I REALLY NEED to do this . . . but . . . CAN I? also go hand in hand down the doubt and procrastination pathway – or the avoidance avenue. As SunnyB says the positive is I WILL DO this (or that) – and we need to simply get on with whatever it is . . . without procrastination, or avoidance, or excuses. Lets not make it a chore remember. It is a choice of a challenge for the better πŸ™‚ Actually DOING is so much simpler than TRYING. And only when we proudly march down Progression Parade are we able to proclaim in a positive way . . .YES WE CAN DO THIS!!! WE JUST HAVE!!! TallyHO all and dont forget – in readiness for that proud day’s march . . . Cheerleader Duckie’s pom poms practice is 10am Monday πŸ™‚ Quack!!!

  • posted by WoodDuckie
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    Violinist πŸ™‚ So pleased to have been able to entertain and keep you company in the wee small hours πŸ™‚

  • posted by sixturkeys
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    I wonder if pom pom practice might do as a gentle introduction to (some form of) HIIT? And would tea towels do as stand-ins for pom poms? I can feel some marching on spot/twirling coming on. Don’t know what the dogs will make of it….

  • posted by WoodDuckie
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    Yes six-(or is that 5 by now?) – turkeys πŸ™‚ As I am hampered re exercise . . . I consider every time I walk to the fridge, dance, twist or wiggle to GOOD MUSIC!!! and or march or mark time . . . thats “so many” steps – (which I never keep track of :)) After all if we can accept OUNCES or GRAMS as discards . . . why not everytime we lift our foot off the ground to mark time as adding to our steps? Teatowels are fine – as practice gear, though when we actually do parades, one must have the real things please πŸ™‚ (Acting the fool certificates are available on application πŸ™‚ !! Quack xx

  • posted by nifer1922
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    This is a great thread! Today is D4 for me and I have discarded 😁 4.5 pounds. It is not “just” 4.5 pounds either haha. It is so easy to simplify success by using the word JUST isn’t it? Thanks for an uplifting post today!! It’s so great to know we are all in this together. β™₯️

  • posted by WoodDuckie
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    Oh nifer1922! Glad you like it! and if it helps anyone in any way then . . . win win!!! Great progress report! AND recognition of what that 4.5lbs discard represents!!! IT IS success and proof – reward for effort πŸ™‚ . . . not “just” a commodity, mundane or insignificant πŸ™‚ In line with our obvious similarities, as well as considering individuality, it is something of which we are all capable with the end results . . . while similar . . . (as there are so many layers to our complexities and reasons for change) . . . so individually different. And yes, truly, . . . we are all in this together. Collectively . . ? yes we “CAN” . . . though more importantly, actually “ARE” . . . DOING!!! Quack!

  • posted by sixturkeys
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    I think there may be something in kitchen pom pom practice…..I did stand well away from windows so neighbours did not misinterpret as some crazed SOS semaphoring. I think it would also be suited to gentle stretching/balletic movement to classical music. Think Isadora Duncan -type dancing but with teatowels. Was it Wendleg who mentioned her husband’s secret Spring garden? Sounds magical. I planted some creamy white hellebores a couple of years ago, which have come up with a mass of flowers this year. And some tulips are just emerging from the earth. I have a feeling that this week will be a zero loss one, but will reveal all on Tuesday (not helped by seeing a decimal point in cracker carb count where there was none…).

  • posted by SunnyB
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    5turkeys – I’m liking the idea of pom-pom and ‘Isadora’ dancing with tea towels!! Quite tempted to join in too! Don’t worry if this week doesn’t show a downward result on the scales – just keep up the tea towels dancing.
    Oh … and hellibores are lovely aren’t they? I have a deep pink one that bloomed for the first time this year, but only three or four flowers. Your’s sounds so beautiful.

  • posted by WoodDuckie
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    HI everyone! Been a while since I added ammunition to our daily battles but on ready many posts here . . . and personal issues presenting for addressing . . . I refreshed my memory from my many years old “book draft” where I have several dozen linguistical acrobatics listed and explainations from my own perspectives and experiences as my life has unfolded. (I knew that description was incorrect! Skittle wrote earlier these are neuro linguistics! Much more eloquent language Thank you!!!) SO here is COMPROMISE/NEGOTIATION . . .
    Imagine when two people join together for the purpose of solving/deciding on an issue – it might be colour of curtains, lounges, housepaint . . . new car, marriage or relationship direction . . . (I think you now get the idea . . ) How many times have we seen, heard or been in a scenario, and how often has one party “conceded”/given in to the other’s idea, choice or demand . . .? and for whatever reason . . .? The negative concede or compromise leaves a feeling of deflation, defeat, unjust, denied etc etc etc . . . AND therefore – if the exercise is repeated over and over again, even in the SMALLEST of ways – such can lead to the (lets call them) the conceders . . . losing themselves, their identity – (or part thereof bit by bit . . ) – . . . by not receiving any joy, fun or “choice” to build thir self confidence, education, experiences . . . for them to then go on to believing they must not be/arent worth the battle/deserving of very much . . . (unworthy) – AND . . . therefore begin asking for less and less from life and/or others for themselves. On the other side of the table . . . the one GETTING their way, their demand, their choice . . . begins to realise they can have whatever they want! when they want! and can also begin to do just what they want – without consultation! The positive outcome of NEGOTIATION, sees both receive something they NEED or desire – (as opposed to WANT!!!) Maybe as a example point of negotiation . . . if someone has a need/desire to say . . . take out a gym membership . . . and $$$s have previously been too tight to stretch to such a luxury. A point has been reached where the gym membership request can now financially be managed while . . .perhaps the (long postponed much desired) craft class for the other party can also maybe be accommodated – with a little tweaking. This is not intended to appear as a “you have so I want” example situation . . . (the craft class may not exist and the other party may be quite happy to allow the gym membership to go ahead . . . BUT to concede/agree to the gym membership fees when one has been biding time on something to add a little joy, pleasure or diversion had to be put on hold . . .? its time for Negotiation! Maybe the gym membership attendance can be shared . . .? Who knows? . . . but like was said . . . Its time for Negotiation πŸ™‚ Hope this helps someone πŸ™‚ It helped me to write it! Dont forget POM POM practice 10am each morning in the kitchen πŸ™‚ Tomorrows music . . . ? choose something meaningful to you . . . play it loud . . . sing or cry along . . . get angry – pretend youre on stage at a concert recital and go all out . . . release whatever it is thats locked away and then go take a shower to wash it away πŸ™‚ Guaranteed refreshing and cleansing! Quack! Quack!

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