lalala loses 30+

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posted by lalala
on 22 Mar 2018 at 01:49

Retrospectively documenting my stats here to keep myself accountable.

R1W1D1 – weighing in at 92 kgs, which at 169 kgs tall puts me firmly in the obese range at 32.2. At 32, I was pretty horrified to find myself here.

R1W2D1 – first weigh in – weight 87.5 – 4.5 kgs lost
This week hasn’t been as challenging as I anticipated. The fact that the weight has come off has made it easy. Day 1 was challenging, but have kept the water up ever since and I’m going ok… Sunday I had high carb intake despite otherwise good – exercise, eating – and had only 0.1 loss, so will make an effort to keep carbs low in future. Best thing has been the fact that this should have been my bad week from a mood point of view (PMDD is a bitch) and I’ve been great! I didn’t even take my usual extra medication. That in itself has been fantastic and incentive enough to keep going. Tempted today to already throw out some of the clothes I want to get rid of when I’m skinny but don’t want to get ahead of myself so I’m just leaving them in a pile to remind myself of how far I’m getting already. Maybe a good ritual for when I hit 80 kgs. Keeping my fingers crossed for another good week and aiming for 3-4 kgs losses again – and definitely hoping to be out of the “obese” range by next Sunday (85 or under). Loving the forums on BSD, but have just been lurking. Such good advice, success stories and empathetic and welcoming people. Serves as good inspiration. Going to focus on plenty of sleep and morning yoga this week to see if I can get that part sorted.

R1W3D1 – weight 88.5 – 1 kg gain this week (3.5 kgs lost in total)
This week has been a bit of a mess. For the first 3 days I didn’t see any weight loss on the scale, and therefore got frustrated and lost focus, snacking on corn chips for two evenings in a row. Though I kept my calories relatively low (although not at 800), the carbs were high and the weight started tracking up with weigh ins of 87.9 and 88.8 two days in a row. This second one was a bit of a shock and kicked me back into gear somewhat, but that didn’t even last long – and I treated the end of the week as a bit of a write off, even eating bread. I tried to make mostly on plan choices for most of the week, but weighed in finally at 88.5 this morning. Really it could have been much worse. Going to get back on track today and aim to be under 85 by this time next week.
Also, exercise this week was quite minimal. Some days with higher steps but really only exercise was teaching a yoga class. Really need to fix up this routine if I’m to make progress over the long term. I need to actually remind myself that this is for the long term, and that not seeing progress for a couple of days doesn’t mean I just chuck it in. I need to work out how to keep myself focused on this. And I need to find an alternative low calorie lunch to a protein shake.
Positives – I did fit into a couple of pairs of pants that I wasn’t fitting into. This week has given me the kick up the bum I needed to get me under that magical 85 kg threshold by end of next week. Fingers crossed.

R1W4D1 – weight 86.1 kgs – 2.4 kgs this week (5.9 kgs in total)
And I’m back on the wagon. This week was disciplined and surprise, surprise, I saw progress as a result. Didn’t hit the magical 85 kgs but may have something to do with the bloating that delightfully joins me at this time of the month. Aiming for a 3 kgs + loss next week to get me on target for my 12 kg loss in 5 weeks. When it works this diet really is easy. When progress on the scales stalls I really lose interest pretty quickly, so I need to make sure I’m creating opportunities for other non-scale victories – measurements, clothes, weights, distance / fitness. OR that I’m prepared to try out other options for hitting my targets – super low carb, fasts, etc.
Speaking off, really need to get on the exercise thing. I barely did anything this week besides a yoga class (albeit a very challenging one) and a walk. Think I’ll start at the local weight lifting gym for next 15 weeks – mostly to build up some more lean muscle. Thinking I’ll do 2 nights and intersperse them with runs around the lake and teaching the odd yoga class, and then will hopefully jump on the 12 week body transformation at the other gym from July on as a I reverse diet to lift the calories back to maintenance. A bit wary of next week as this is when the hormones tend to strike, but will see how I go. Anyway, trying not to plan too far ahead and keep focused.
posted by lalala
on 27 Mar 2018 at 06:25

R1W5D1 – weight 85.3 – 0.8 kgs lost this week (6.7 kgs in total)
Slightly devastated at my first 3 weigh ins this week with 86.1, 86.6 and 87 on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday despite keeping the cals in check and adding in a little exercise. Really need to be conscious of the carbs and keep adding in the exercise I think. Also suspect hormones might have something to do with it – the weight retention and low mood has appeared so feeling bloated and a little flat. Funny that on Sunday I was thinking I could be scaling down on my meds. Worth sticking with it a bit longer I think! I’m mostly annoyed because it is looking extremely unlikely I’ll hit my first 5 weeks target of getting under 80 kgs. Although in reality it was week 2 that did that, so a good lesson for me.
Positives – I was at uni in Melbs this past weekend so was happy that I managed to stay on plan and not buckle to peer pressure when meeting new people.
(Unrealistic) GOAL for Week 5 under 80 kgs (12 kgs lost) – hoping to get as close to this as I can without being irresponsible. Playing the long game…
posted by lalala
on 28 Mar 2018 at 01:17

In an effort to make myself feel a bit better about the fact that I’m still a little way off my target of 80 kgs after 5 weeks, I went home and tried on all the clothing I’d put on too much weigh to wear. I fit into EVERYTHING, even the stuff I thought I wouldn’t fit into yet. Non scale victories for the WIN! Sticking to my goals of 80 kgs by the end of the week, although in reality if I hit 82 I should be pretty happy with that. 10 kgs in 5 weeks is a good start! Keeping my eyes on that 55
Had a gym session last night and feeling much better than after my sessions last week. Hardly sore at all, and nice to start seeing some progress with lifts, especially my bench press. I think it might take a while longer to see improvement with my squats – my tight hips will be the death of me! Need to be getting in some more yoga!
posted by SunnyB
on 29 Mar 2018 at 18:29

lalala – well done on those great results, you must bee feeling very pleased to have such a brilliant non-scales victory – a fab endorsement of how well you are doing. Weight loss is not linear and there will be unexpected blips upwards on the scales that defy explanation and whilst these are frustrating and can be disheartening, they are not the end of the world. The secret is no to allow it to derail you and to just stick with it, watch the carbs, keep the hydration high and it will all come right in the end. You’re doing really well and there’s no reason for this not continuing.
posted by lalala
on 30 Mar 2018 at 05:41

Thanks so much SunnyB. I’ve had a huge drink of water to remind myself, and just measured up so that I’m documenting something other than weight. Staying positive! Thinking of the long game… 🙂
posted by lalala
on 2 Apr 2018 at 09:54

R1W6D1 – weight 83.8 – 1.5 kgs lost this week (8.2 kgs in total)
Relieved to see a shift on the scales this week after hovering around and above 85 for most of the week, but reserving that relief (officially) until I weigh in tomorrow morning because I’m wondering if there’s a discrepancy between my scales at home and at my folks’ place where I spent the weekend. Either way, feeling ok after a bit of a shift in perspective thanks to many pearls of wisdom on the forums. It really is an amazing resource with people who have already been through the challenges and people in similar situations all sharing information and experiences.
On recommendation from Alliecat, I’ve just finish Gary Taubes’ How We Get Fat and found it interesting and reassuring (though I must admit to having zoned out through periods – it is easy to do that with an audio book). The main message I took from it was that carbohydrates are the culprit when it comes to obesity and other “lifestyle diseases” and the only way to solve the problem is to limit them. How much or how little is completely down to your hormonal and physical make up, your historical behaviours, and genetics, and finding out where that balance is really just comes down to experimenting. Found it interesting to observe how hard it was for me to process the fact that the “calories in, calories out” message we’re sold just doesn’t stack up. Amazing how we really internalise these messages and struggle to let go of them even when faced with incontrovertible evidence to the contrary… Cognitive dissonance and dieting. Who wants to write the thesis? That said, it does give me a level of comfort with the process, particularly with maintenance phase when calories don’t have too much of an impact if carbohydrates continue to stay low. I also liked his thinking around trade offs between eating carbs at a level that is sustainable for you, and deciding how much weight you’re ok with as a result. Practical thinking for the win!
So trying not to be too disappointed with not having hit my first 5 weeks’ target of 80 kgs and using some of this knowledge to plan my next 13 week period which will take me to the end of June. I feel much more in control and empowered to look after myself, although I don’t want to fall into the trap of thinking that weight loss is predictable. More so reminding myself to stick to the process and trust that my body will do what it does and keep trending down.
—- Goals for Q2 —-
Monday April 30 – Aiming for 75 kgs (8.8 kgs in 4 weeks)
Monday May 28 – Aiming for 68 (7 kgs in 4 weeks)
Monday July 2 – Aiming for under 65 (3+ kgs in 5 weeks)
Aiming for a 18.8 kg loss for the next 13 weeks to take me to 65 kgs, which is about the same weekly rate of weight loss the last 5 weeks (on average). Conscious that the majority of my weight loss came in week 1, and also that I had a pretty slack week 2, but also have sat about the 1.5 kg average loss per week now that I’m in a rhythm.
Trying to set up systems to keep myself on track. These include:
> aiming for 20 – 30 gms of carbs daily and staying within 10% of the 800 calorie daily target
> picking up on the physical activity side of things – morning yoga, lunch time walk, evening gym / yoga / run or walk
> staying consistent with apple cider vinegar, psyllium husk, vitamins and green team morning routine to look after gut and liver health
> picking up my evening meditation and sleep routine to make sure cortisol and other hormones are being looked after
> drinking 3-4 litres of water each day, and getting in fermented food or kombucha most days
> experimenting with IF occasionally if I’m struggling to meet my weekly target of approx 1.5 – 2 kgs.
Fingers crossed for a 2kg plus weigh in this time next week so that I’m on track!
posted by lalala
on 2 Apr 2018 at 09:58

Whoa, that ended up being a long post! Just another thought worth documenting. Caught up with a good friend today who has recently had a breast reduction to give her tiny frame some relief from her F-cup breasts. She mentioned that she’d also lost 9 or so kilos over a 20 week period with the help of weight watchers in anticipation of her surgery. It reminded me that a) it must be hard for a vegetarian like her to lose weight given everything is inevitably higher carb, and b) I should be grateful for 8+ kgs in 5 weeks. God knows I wouldn’t have the patience if I was looking at 9 kgs over a 20 week period!
posted by JGwen
on 2 Apr 2018 at 10:16

I felt from reading you long post that I needed to comment on your assumption that weight loss will be linear over the next few months. It won’t. You will have stall periods, you will have times when inches are changing but scales aren’t.
It can get disheartening if you make assumptions that you will loose weight at the same rate each week and it doesn’t happen. My advice would be to set targets, but set a range of targets from fitness levels to inch loss but don’t get so hung up on them you risk stepping off the wagon if you don’t achieve them.
posted by lalala
on 2 Apr 2018 at 10:43

Wise advice again JGwen. I’ve got my measurements which I’ll start tracking weekly as I weigh in, and I’m also aiming to be able to run a 10km at the end of this quarter so that’s another good non-scale target. Hoping I’ll see progress in distance and speed over the 13 weeks before I get to that big hurdle. I’ve also started back at the gym so will be tracking improvement in my lifts. A funny positive – I’m already fitting into the clothes I thought would take quite a bit longer to get into, so might have to make a few more aspirational purchases to use as a bench mark for other non-scale victories. (Not that I wouldn’t notice improvements in fit in the ones I’ve got mind you… but a few new fancy items as extra incentive might help too… 😉 )
posted by lalala
on 8 Apr 2018 at 23:35

R1W7D1 – weight 83 kgs – 0.8 kgs lost this week (9 kgs lost in total)
Oddly, I don’t have strong feelings about this week’s result. I was hoping to be closer to 80kgs (of course), but happy to see the fat still coming off with what feels like minimal effort on my part. I’m on auto-program a bit now which is good. I also took my second lot of measurements and so far have lost 6 cms (all over). I do take it with a bit of a grain of salt because I’m not too sure my measuring is super consistent / accurate. Non scale victories though – I dug up two extra pairs of jeans from quite some time ago and they both fit too! I’m also amassing quite a pile of things that are really too big for me.
I started back with some running last week – not too serious, just trying to progress towards my goal of running 10 kms by the end of June. It did leave me feeling a little worn out though so the weekend was very quiet.
My biggest challenge is that my hormones seem to be all over the place. I’ve had strange period pain, spotting and strange digestion for probably 2 weeks now, and it doesn’t seem to sync in with where I am with my oral contraceptive. The worst part is the moodddssss. I have been crying at ads on tv, feeling like an emotional mess thanks to some stuff going on at work, and quite snappy at my poor husband. I’ve given up my antidepressants for the PMDD so normal might take some getting used to. I think I’ve decided I’m going to give up my oral contraceptive after this week too (end of active pills) and let my body sort itself out a little. I’ll do some reading this week on what else I can be doing to help my liver clear whatever hormones need to be cleared.
I had a quick look at my calorie and carb intake averages over the past 6 weeks, and I’ve noticed that both have come up slightly this past week, so need to work to keep that in check to ensure the losses stay consistent as much as possible. Also preparing for a day of IF this week. The downside of being on auto-program is that I can probably get a bit slack and need to lift my game a little…
So all in all, not a terrible week considering. Aiming for under 80 kgs again this week, and keeping a closer eye on my calories and carbs to help me get there.
posted by lalala
on 11 Apr 2018 at 03:02

I’ve been reflecting this week on how I’m feeling close to the end of the initial 8 weeks, though I’m planning on continuing for some time yet. It feels like I’m settling into a bit of a rhythm now, and I’ve got the hang of low carb. I’m hoping by the end of this week I might have lost 12 kgs in 8 weeks, which would be amazing. Then just 20-25 kgs still to go…
I’ve thought about my week 2 a lot – the stage when in other “health kicks” my resolve would fail and I’d stuff my face with bread or salty crunchy things or carby sugary things. This time around, I relaxed and helped myself to some bread with my avocado and general laziness like this. Having crashed and burned almost every other time I’ve started a diet, it really could have been much worse. Of course, rather than my weight trending down, I gained a kilo. I’ve mulled on this for a bit. That week is an interesting little blip on the radar.Perhaps if I hadn’t had this little lapse in week 2 I would have already lost the 12 kgs I was (very optimistically) hoping to lose in 5 weeks. But it also serves as a handy little reminder that a lapse isn’t worth it – especially given how much of an impact it has had on my overall ability to meet my goals. This is a new and interesting experience for me – coming from a place of curiosity and intrigue rather than self admonishment and regret.
I have some questions about training (running and lifting weights) during the BSD. I know the diet really recommends sticking to low intensity cardio, but much like Gary Taubes has opened my diet to what the science actually says with regards to diet, I’ve had my eyes opened to the science behind HIIT and lifting heaving so wondering if I can combine these with BSD for better long term results. I’ll keep experimenting, and sticking to what I can manage. Feeling a bit worn out since I’ve started running, and also not getting quite as much sleep as I need so hoping I can rectify that so that I’m feeling tip top! Wondering if anyone has had success with magnesium supplements to help with poor sleep quality… Will have a hunt on the forums.
posted by lalala
on 16 Apr 2018 at 23:56

R1W8D2 – weight 82.2 kgs (0.8 kgs lost this week) 9.8 kg lost in total
Pretty thrilled with my measurements going down pretty dramatically (12 cms this week) – and my clothes that a couple of weeks ago JUST fit me are now verging on too small. Plus I had people telling me how great I look on the weekend. 10 kgs really does make a difference! Seeing some good gains in my weights at the gym too so happy about that. Really should be making more of an effort with my running, even if short ones.
On Thursday I had peak hormonal day and had a bit of a blow out. Although not like it used to be – the worst was a nut muesli bar and some popcorn. Despite this, the scales went down. Have done some reading on the forums and think I need to get comfortable with the prospect of a “recovery / maintenance” day during my peak PMS period. Better than falling off the wagon entirely! I’m also wondering whether this might subside somewhat once I’m off Diane35. Seeing conflicting reports of weight gain / weight loss coming on and coming off Diane35 so we’ll see what happens with my crazy body!
I’ve also reviewed my goals this week, and scaled them back a little. I realised that I have NEVER been below 60 kgs so it doesn’t make sense for that to be my initial goal. I’m also conscious of a pending move and the fact that I may not have access to a crossfit style gym so I probably need to be satisfied with a slower rate of weight loss to get me down into the numbers I’d like.
Hoping to get to my 80 kgs goal finally for the end of my first 8 week cycle and hopefully a few more cms. Wish I’d taken everyone’s advice and taken starting measurements and photos!
posted by lalala
on 30 Apr 2018 at 11:01

R1W9D1 – weight 81.2 kgs (1 kgs lost this week) 10.8 kg lost in total

Week 10 – Week off (accidental) – weight 83 kgs (1.8 kgs gained this week) 9 kg lost in total
8.5 cm gained in week 9 – 9.5 cm lost in total

I’ve fallen off the radar and off the bandwagon a little over the last 10 days. We spent a few days up at our new farm last week (Sun-Wed). I tried to stick pretty tight to low carb even while going above cals, but got a bit thrown and went quite off program for 4 days when we got home. Weighed myself today to find I’m back up to 83 kgs from a low of 81.2 kg, but really it could have been much worse. Still feeling quite stressed with some work stuff, but committed to Sprint #2 (9 weeks to lose 12 kgs) kicking off today. I feel like the work stuff is turning a corner given I’ll be resigning tomorrow and my husband and I both have opportunities emerging where we’re moving to, so keen to make sure my health and routine are keeping up with these positive changes.
My first ebay delivery was a pleasant surprise in that I fitted into and liked each of my purchases. It really does make such a difference having lost those last 10 kgs which really pushed me well over my comfortable weight. Here’s to hitting 70kgs and getting back into the healthy weight range this sprint! I received a few things today, and it looks like I’ve already purchased quite a few things that might have to wait until I’m a few more kgs down the track so they’ll serve as good incentive!
posted by lalala
on 7 May 2018 at 23:29

R2W1D1 – weight 82.5 (0.5 lost this week) 9.5 kgs in total
5 cm lost this week – 14.5 cms lost in total
Had a really positive week and kicked back into ketosis easily with fasting and low carb / low cal. Was losing about 400gms a day but then had a big stumble for book club on Thursday evening (off plan crunchy salty corn chips and definitely too much on plan food) which put me back 3 days – which isn’t much in the scheme of things but I was so keen to try and undo my mistakes of the past couple of weeks so I’m disappointed in myself for my lack of control. That said, I realised I’m at peak hormonal point, so that is definitely a factor so trying not to beat myself up too much. I just really want to get under my goal of 80 kgs, I seem to be self sabotaging somewhat, while simultaneously making ebay purchases which just don’t quite fit me yet. What’s up with that??! Oh hormones my old friend, you really are a massive pain.
It makes me a little worried about maintenance because I’m really bad at moderating myself in “nibbles” type situations, and then I can fall off the wagon if I give myself even the slightest permission. Probably the smart thing to do would have been to take a plate, eat enough and stop. And maybe have some of my own protein handy, or eat beforehand and not have any snacks. All learning I guess, but you can’t help but feel sometimes that even with the best techniques, in place your body will do what it wants – and sometimes that is EAT!

So I’ve decided I’m drawing a line under the past 2 weeks when I’ve been a bit wayward and calling today the start of a new 8 week sprint with renewed focus and discipline.
Hoping to still get under 80 by the end of this week, and maybe reach 77 by the end of this 4 week challenge – optimistic and ambitious but possible… I’m also adding in some running goals for this sprint – aiming to get a 10 km under my belt, so starting out slowly with a 3 km non stop run on Sunday and adding 1 km to my distance each week to meet my 10 km goal.
In happier news, I’ve resigned from my job and will be finishing at the end of June. The move will coincide with the end of this sprint so really hoping I’ll reach my 70 kgs target – back in the healthy weight range. Sticking to the positives, looking forward. 8 weeks to a new house, new life, new me!
posted by lalala
on 7 May 2018 at 23:47

Looking back at my stats I’ve realised I haven’t really lost any weight for a month or so, but that is definitely down to lack of discipline. Frustrating to realise, because I could have lost 5+ kgs in that time. Back on the wagon now. Here’s to hitting the 70kgs goal by end of June.
posted by lalala
on 10 May 2018 at 05:18

Mid-week check in. I’m back in the game! It is only Thursday and I’ve already lost more than 1 kg since my Tuesday weigh in. All of a sudden things feel effortless again – I feel lighter, my cravings have lifted, my stress has subsided. I’ve put the change down to 2 things – stage of my cycle and seeing my kinesiologist last night. I don’t know if I even believe in whatever kinesology is, but I believe in the power of the mind and that is clearly having an effect. Also, I lifted a PD deadlift at the gym on Tuesday, submitted an assessment for uni and a tender for work, as well as a few more tasks I’ve been putting off. Progress. Just goes to show yet again that hormones do have a real impact and change is sometimes just around the corner so take it easy on yourself when you need to. Now focusing on getting through a weekend of socialising / celebrations for my husband’s birthday.
posted by lalala
on 15 May 2018 at 00:18

R2W2D1 – weight 80.6 kgs (1.9 kgs lost this week) 11.4 kgs lost overall
13.5 lost this week – 28 cm lost in total
Thrilled to see this result after quite a few wayward or lacklustre weeks. Even after an indulgent weekend with my husband’s birthday dinner at a beautiful french restaurant on Saturday and a 7 course tasting menu for Mother’s Day lunch on the Sunday. Quite happy too with seeing my measurements drop so much this week, given I’d been gaining in this department in my couple of lazy weeks prior.
I go through waves of being disappointed in myself for not having pushed myself as hard as I should – I should be running more, I should be walking more, I shouldn’t be having my morning coffee, I should be getting in my morning yoga, I should have lost more weight by now – but really if I can continue losing at 1 kg per week (approx average over the past 12 weeks) then I’ll hit my goal of 30 kgs by the end of September. And really, I’m doing it without a great deal of effort – and I pretty much gave myself 2 weeks off, and I’ve still lost 12 kgs! I am aware though that the rate of weight loss for these next 12 weeks will likely be slower. The closer I get to a healthy weight presumably the harder it will get to lose? But really that’s why I’m lifting weights (building lean muscle to passively burn more fat). And hopefully as I continue losing weight the exercise will get easier and easier. If only I could say the same for the cold weather!
I know the next 3 weeks are going to be CRAZY at work as it gets closer to my leaving date. Thrilled to think I can leave my toxic workplace soon, reduce my stress levels, hopefully find a better sense of work-life balance.
Setting myself a couple of June 4 mini goals – which is my mid-way point of this 8 week sprint.
– getting to 75 kgs (over half way to my total weight loss target)
– running 6 kms
– getting to 60 cms lost (over half way to my total cms lost target)
Looking forward to the next 3 weeks.
posted by lalala
on 22 May 2018 at 02:48

R2W2D1 – weight 80.6 kgs (1.9 kgs lost this week) 11.4 kgs lost overall
2.5 cm lost this week – 30.5 cm lost in total
Some good insights this week in terms of how much I am slacking off on the weekends. On Friday I was thinking I was going to be heading towards 78-79 kgs after getting down to 79.6 on Saturday, but on Monday and today I weighed in back over 80 kgs (granted, having some transit issues). I do really need to stick closer to my calorie goals over the weekend, otherwise I’m largely undoing my whole week’s progress in 2 days. I’m also probably taking in a little more grains (gluten) than I should be and feeling bloated as a result.
Finding I’m feeling very blah this weekend. Not depressed, not unmotivated as such, just over it – flat. I did go for a run yesterday and was impressed that I knocked out a 3 km pretty easily (albeit slowly) after no runs for over a month. Hoping to build up from there to get to my 5 / 10 / 21 / 42 kms goals, and will work on getting faster as I go.
I wonder if it comes from feeling quite happy with where I’m at in terms of weight / body. I fit into my clothes now for the most part and I’m not constantly uncomfortable. Sure, I’d love to lose some more weight around my middle and get fitter and lose some more fat and build more definition, and I’m still not even in the health weight range so that’s definitely something I should be aiming for. I think I’m just a bit apathetic this week. Maybe it is hormones (I have been craving more food and definitely some sweetness so that could be it), or maybe it is something else. I’m feeling unsettled and frustrated that I haven’t heard about the job I want up in the high country so maybe it is just the waiting that is making me feel… something… Ready for a change I think.
posted by Californiagirl
on 22 May 2018 at 14:44

HI Lalala! I know that funny, weird “flat” feeling you describe — not depressed but just not that interested in anything either. I tend to get it when I have been too busy or have had too many things to do for several weeks — or maybe it is hormonal or moon-struck or who knows….
For BSD purposes, when I felt that way, I let myself go on “automatic” for a while and not count calories or carbs, but just stick with the foods I knew worked and in proportions that “felt” right. I also tried to do more gentle (not really active) exercise at that time, like yoga where I didn’t try very hard, or Zumba where I just wiggled,, or TRX where I made a half effort. Or slow, wandering walks.
I stopped weighing and stopped measuring. I stopped even thinking about it — I just took a mental time-out.
When I let myself do that and just “flow” for a bit, I always found that I wanted to get back to a more strict BSD after a week or two.
And the kicker was that I had almost always lost (significant) weight during that “flow” period when I finally went back to measuring!
Maybe that approach can help you, as you wait to hear about the new job or just get back feeling more dedicated to it all. Take care.
posted by lalala
on 23 May 2018 at 06:34

Thanks so much for this Californiagirl.
I think you’re right. The workplace I’m leaving is giving me plenty of stress so I wonder if that’s enough for me to be craving a little bit of soothing through food (carbs, sugar), but the fact that I don’t yet know where I’m going next is also leaving me unsettled. I guess i haven’t yet developed my new coping mechanisms enough that I am looking to options other than food. I also think I still have subconscious confusion about whether food is just functional (fuel) or emotional support (soothing). I haven’t left the old way of thinking behind yet (soothing) and properly understood that any emotional support I need should be coming from somewhere else so that food is just fuel. Maybe you’re right and what I need is just a timeout – less thinking about optimising every bit of it and just going with the flow for a while.
Happily, after I left work yesterday I got an email about a follow up interview, and also lifted a new PB deadlift at the gym. When I got home I made myself a mood lifter Spotify playlist and had a bit of a dance. I think I just need to disengage from the stress at work and focus on the good stuff outside of work and the future stuff.
Great to hear that this has worked for you. Hoping a little mental break will have be back and feeling more inspired. 🙂
posted by marie123
on 24 May 2018 at 13:49

Hi lalala and Californiagirl

I just wanted to say how helpful I’ve found reading your reflections, lalala, and your advice, Californiagirl.

I’ve also been feeling a bit ‘flat’ recently. Not unhappy just ‘blah’. I’ve reached both my original goal to get my bgls back into the normal range and recently got to 9st. I know I need to lose more weight (my waist size is still bigger than it should be for my height) and more importantly I need to maintain this woe to keep my diabetes in remission, but I’ve been feeling really ‘unsettled’. (Interestingly, I’ve also been extremely busy the last couple of months). I’ve been trying to work out should I keep pushing downward with the weight, should I just stabilise for a while, I’m looking at incorporating fasting , widening my BSD menu etc.
I was just telling myself I need to relax about it all when I read your post, lalala, describing perfectly how I’m feeling and what I’m doing ‘over-optimising’ – and yours, Californiagirl, offering what I feel instinctively is the right advice for me too. I’m definitely going to go with the flow for a while.

Thanks both xx

lalala – love the idea of the Spotify playlist! Dancing and singing out loud (very loudly & very badly) are 2 of my go-to things to do!
posted by Californiagirl
on 24 May 2018 at 16:40

I do hope that helps Marie123 and lalala— stay in touch!
posted by lalala
on 29 May 2018 at 03:30

R2W4D1 – 83 kgs (9 kgs lost in total)
Hi ladies, Sorry for my delayed response to your posts. I feel for you Marie123 – it is so strange, isn’t it? Somewhere between anxious and blah – unsettled, but not sure why… Most uncomfortable. I know I probably need to be better at sitting in the discomfort rather than trying to self soothe my way out of it with food. Yoga, walking and meditation are the only other tools I know of, but maybe I’m not giving enough credit to the spotify playlist idea!
So the way I’ve reacted to it this past week was to have a full on blow out. It’s kind of like I’m a kid who has been told not to misbehave and I’ve reacted by doing exactly what I know I shouldn’t. Part of me thinks it has to do with the WHY not being front of mind (ie, reminding myself of all the reasons I started in the first place), but it is hard to care about that stuff when I’m feeling so very over it.
The result is that I’ve brought myself back to the weight I was after 5 weeks on BSD (I’m now in week 14). I get so demoralised when I realise that. If only I’d just kept losing, even slowly! A good reason not to discount every day when you feel unsatisfied by small losses. At least they’re losses! The other thing is that I feel very average as a result of all that food! Wheat and excessive amounts of dairy sure do mess me up! That in itself is a good reminder to stay on track. Happily I find the weight tends to come off again quite quickly when I course correct, but I wish I was further losing rather than just recovering…
Using this as an opportunity to really reset and hopefully get myself back under 80 kgs by the end of the week – aiming for 77 kgs (halfway point) by the time we move. I think the stress of my current job and the uncertainty of not knowing with my next job has really thrown me. The good news is that I’ve got an interview tomorrow, so feeling optimistic and really trying to emotionally divest from this job. 5 weeks until we move now, so hoping I can come home strong to hit my half way point target of 77 kgs. Will need to do some spotify playlists to keep my sanity in the meantime!
R2W4D1 – 83 kgs (9 kgs lost in total)
posted by marie123
on 30 May 2018 at 15:39

Hi lalala
Gosh, there are so many things in what you’ve written that I recognise. Self-sabotage is something I completely recognise, and your description of reacting like a kid who has been told not to misbehave and doing exactly what you know you shouldn’t – yes, me too. I remember a major blow-out where I ate way too many ‘treats’ while sitting staring down my OH and son, daring them to say something – of course they didn’t dare!
At points I’ve also suddenly found myself feeling strangely emotional (sometimes explainable, sometimes not) – and have had to learn to ‘sit in the discomfort’ as you say (btw, what a great description) – or walk it out – walking being another new activity for me!
I’ve come to think these things are just a natural part of what you have to go through on your way to succeeding at this.

You’ve got so many changes going on at the moment so do treat yourself gently. Hope the rest of the week goes well (including today’s interview).

Marie xx