Panda Bear's BSD diary

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  • posted by Panda Bear
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    Hi all. It has been an age since I have been on here. The upside is I haven’t regained my weight I lost (10kgs) back in the day but my sugars are rampant (average of 14 first thing in the morning), my eating is out of control and I am scared my body is on the brink of seeing undeniable damage. I HAVE to do the BSD again! I know it works! I just can’t seem to get committed… My life is so demanding I don’t seem to be able to get my head in the right headspace to get started. Any support and encouragement would be greatly appreciated. My goal today is to just eat 800 calories and only have 1 glass of wine. I am not an alcoholic but with the stress of life lately I find myself drinking a little more than usual and I know it is not ideal to say the least. I wish I could sound more excited and up beat about the whole ‘jumping in and doing it thingy’ but this is just where I am at at the moment. With little or no support or encouragement in this area from my inner circle on this one, I am hoping this forum will remember my BSD success of the past and accept me as is. 😀 By stating my goal here for today I am hoping it will give me focus and accountability.

  • posted by SunnyB
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    Panda Bear, sorry you are struggling to find motivation to revisit the BSD, but welcome back nonetheless.
    As someone who has returned to basics, to head off possible long term impact of a more relaxed approach, I can empathise with the issue of motivation. I don’t have an answer to this issue, other than identifying what your ‘whys’ are for returning to basics.
    Anyway, what I will say is that you’ll find all the support and encouragement you might need on the weekly thread …. the current one has 13th July in the title. There are several returners on the thread, some of whom you might already know, either way you’ll get a warm welcome there if you choose to join us. Whatever you decide on that front, I wish you success on your new quest.

  • posted by sunshine-girl
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    Hi Panda Bear, you have already succeeded just by coming back here. That shows courage and determination. You also havent gained the weight so you are starting out from a better place than last time. You will know that the weight loss is secondary to a diabetic plan and it is the carbs that do the damage. Reading back on my 5 year BSD Blog I am reminded that I got my BG down from 157 and the odd 180 or 190, down to 120 in just a couple of weeks. No one can force you, push you, gee you up and, heaven forbid say come on you can do it. You are the one to get this back on track and baby steps are okay – wine included. No lectures here.

    I would ask just one thing, stay with us and let us know how you are doing – good or bad – and dont worry about those around you that dont support you, this is for you, no-one else.

  • posted by Panda Bear
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    Hi again. Thanks SunnyB and Sunshine-girl for your comments. They are much appreciated. I think SunnyB you make a valid point that I need to find my ‘why’ and I do think that is what is making this whole thing so difficult, I honestly have trouble finding one. This needs to be addressed, I know. I have made a telehealth appointment with my doctor to discuss a means of dealing with depression and the need for psycologist’s appointment. I am hoping if I can improve these areas of my health it will energise and motivate my desire to take control of my diabetes. I find I cope with life by relying on outside stimulus and food (and a nice glass of red) is one of those. I have come to believe that I may have some sort of eating disorder as I can fast without difficulty, especially if I am distracted with activity (like work) but at other times I will see food, (especially snack foods) and even though I am not hungry, the image will bug me’til I go eat some and then sometimes I can’t stop until it is all gone and yet all the time my brain is saying, you don’t need this or you don’t want this. I have seen others at social gatherings react by removing a bowl of chips out of my reach. I find my behaviour embarrassing but I have little control of over it.

    Yesterday, I did well up until dinner time. 😟 We ate out which always poses its own difficulties. The meal portion was too large even though I halved the amount and put the left over portion in the fridge. I had a G&T at five o’clock, followed by three small glasses of red over the next five hours while watching the footy. Snacks. Yes. 😬 But not without some control (some🥺). I am not going to beat myself up over this. I feel I have made progress even though it may only be a little. I logged my calories but only until I busted my goal. This was a mistake I know and something I must work on.

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