Oh my goodness Lauren that sounds horrendous on many levels.
i used to teach 11 to 15 year olds with all their angst and hormones but my days were never as intense as yours . It’s too much to be expected to function normally after a day like that even if you were super woman !!! You MUST rest and recharge, sleep and evacuate all that stress .
I agree with Clare I would be saying very clearly that I was not up to a visit and stressful lunch right now . You are already anticipating it is going to be challenging and the interactions are going to be very very difficult . I think there are times when you should not be afraid to say NO . There again I have no stress about being over 60 and have no hesitation about thinking what would be good for me , or very damaging .
I realise it is not simple but be very careful Tto think of yourself and Craig . Could you maybe postpone the family meeting until everyone can cope with it ??? You have been through a lot already .