Mixnmatch, I have my little combinations, too! Sometimes it’s a combination of a tsp. of raw cacao nibs with some
unsweetened dried coconut chips or 1 brazil nut, or if I’m feeling REALLY decadent or have carbs to spare, it’s a
half of a dried apricot 🙂 Tastes do definitely change, don’t they? This is my idea of a treat 22 months in! What
freedom 🙂 🙂 🙂

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Hi Hummingbird,
I fell off the wagon on the second week I was on BSD as well, doing that really brought it home to me how much carb intake was a form of addiction. Particularly, the difference on how I felt after even just a short time without carbs, compared to when I did eat carbs. So it gave me even more incentive to focus on the levels of carbs which has paid off in the long run. Just dust yourself off, learn from it, and get back on the wagon. – Remember the only person who never makes a mistake is the person who never does anything.

Hummingbird, I’m seldom at a loss for words, but I’m having a hard time trying to understand how you went so
far afield in 4 days. Do you think it was the alcohol? I’m very invested in your success, so I hope that you will
take stock, and more importantly, let us know how we can support you through this this period of not being focused.
I thought you had given a lot of thought to your first holiday weekend, so I’m sorry to hear that it went off the rails.
Always in your corner 🙂
Allie

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A lot of pain going on. And I fear commenting will lead me to say the wrong thing here but I hope not. Please see that below is said with love and the best of intentions and is not meant to flame or upset anyone but be supportive of all. Please read none of the below as aggressive or full of judgement – it’s really not.

Hummingbird1 – I don’t think that is the meaning of Allie’s post at all. I believe she is someone who has been where you have been before, suffered what you have and found a way through that and as such, she wants to be there for those who are now where she was.

I believe she was writing from a place of experience and compassion. I don’t want to put words in her own head but I imagine she’ll be devastated to read your response, have had no intention to upset you and will explain the meaning behind her own word choices but at a guess I think she was saying that 4 days isn’t that long and to not be so hard on yourself. Maybe she was trying to suggest that ‘off the rails’ was more suited for a longer (and more harmful departure away from the diet) but you were back in 4 days ready to start again which is a positive thing so she was at a loss for words why you felt you had strayed so badly when you were back so quickly. I (for example) strayed for nearly six months.

You posted a lot of coping strategies for the weekend which were very positive. They didn’t work. We’ve all been there I’m sure. This forum
is not about judging others – but helping them, as well as being supportive. We don’t just say ‘there, there’ – we also say ‘what went wrong, how did it go wrong?’ so that the many people here with similar experiences to yours can offer advice of how they dealt with it. So that you can refine the strategies you had before so that they DO work for you.

That is how I read Allie’s post. Now I could be very wrong but the way I read your post lead me to guess that you feel you have always been judged and most importantly you are judging yourself and you’re reflecting the way you feel about yourself and saw that in what Allie said. But that’s not what she meant and I doubt that is what she feels. You’re angry with yourself and your post suggests you were looking to push some of the anger elsewhere. We’ve all done it. I do it to my OH the most – poor thing. I get so angry at myself over my own failings and then get angry with him for the slightest thing because I need to let that anger out at someone and I can’t very well shout at myself. I recognise it more now and that means it’s decreased massively but Im still human. I still lash out and hurt him when the person I really want to hurt is myself.

But in defending Allie, I’m not attacking you Hummingbird. I don’t think you were right in your analysis of the post but there can be no doubt that you’re in a lot of pain right now and I want to be there for you for that (supportive) and help you (offer guidance).

Firstly – don’t disappear. That might be a temptation after being upset over the post but the support and help you want and need might still be in this thread. Put it behind you, stay and see if you can find what you need here.

Secondly, I understand exactly the feeling of being constantly judged, of eating in secret – I’m no stranger to that. Yes it is very much like an addiction but on this forum are the very people that might be able to help you with that – to suggest coping strategies or different ways to view things.

Thirdly – I only stopped judging myself after reading the book that Allie has recommended – Why We Get Fat by Gary Taubes. Once I understood what carbs do and how they work – I no longer felt weak and helpless. I no longer saw myself as being lazy and ‘a pig’ and all the other horrible ways people judge me (and the way I judge myself).

Hummingbird – please know that a lot of people here are large (*puts hand up) or were large or larger (*also me). No one is judging anyone for the challenges or intermittent failures they are facing when trying this new undertaking. For example, this is my second attempt, lost 3 stone, took 6 months off and have had to lose 2 of that Stone all over again.

We want to be supportive but we also want to help. We want to empower.

For what it’s worth, I agree that Allie’s meaning was more towards the ‘4 days is NOT off the rails, just a little wobble’ side of the coin, but again I don’t want to put words into her mouth. Honestly, during my weight loss, if more rarely after I discovered how much I loved this WOE, I had many periods hanging off the wagon by my fingertips or running along behind, but 8 stone in 2 years still came off and nearly 18 months later is mostly still off.

Hummingbird – I’m responding to your first post and ignoring what’s been said since, I hope that’s ok! I too have fallen off the wagon the past weekend, but for me it was a pre-planned fall, and the weekend extended into a full week. I didn’t eat as badly as I’ve done in the past, and I take pride in that too!
Like you, I’m dusting myself off and getting back on it. I think I’ve put on around 5lbs too, but will weigh myself properly tomorrow (so far I’ve only weighed myself clothed in the middle of the day with/without my puppy to get her weight!)
Sounds like you know where you wobbled a bit and what you need to do to get back on it, and I’m right with you 🙂

Hi Hummingbird – I was in the depths of despair 7 months ago when I stumbled upon this way of eating. I had feelings of self loathing and helplessness. I read MM’s book, read The Obesity Code – Jason Fung, bought Gary Taubes which was recommended and with all the marvelous support and knowledge from our more experienced folk here, I’ve never looked back! it is now my forever way of life and it feels marvelous and such a relief!. I have had and will continue to have no doubt, many bumps along this road to wellness but that’s fine by me. The other wonderful thing, after awhile, I began to see individual personalities shine through each person’s unique writings. Allie, in particular, has an extremely enthusiastic and exuberant writing style. 🙂 We’ve also skyped a few times now and she is extremely passionate because this WOE has literally saved hers and her husband’s lives. 🙂 I am so glad you are here, Hummingbird. It takes awhile but we will all get there, particularly with our friends here routing for us. 🙂
Kazzeexx

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Hi Hummingbird1 – my post was not meant to make you feel attacked or isolated, quite the opposite. And I don’t think you were overreacting – just possibly misreading the intention of Allie’s post so again sorry if my words did not express this.

Starting again is what a lot of us are doing most days – in this life and with the diet 😉 I hope you have a good one and get to enjoy the dry weather if it persists.

Hi Hummingbird,

I am sorry to hear that you were so upset by Allie’s post, she is not based in the UK so probably will see your post later today. I wonder if phrases have slightly different connotations on different continents? I am sure that she didn’t intend to make you feel as distressed as you obviously do.

Just so that you understand, I am an Aspie, so I don’t always get the nuances that neurotypical’s pick up on. Hopefully you will continue on the lists for a long time, so if at any time in the future I use a phrase which upsets you please do remember that I probably mean it literally and there will not be a hidden meaning. –

I understand how hard it can be coping with people like the ‘helpful’ leaders of slimming clubs who try to motivate people through criticism, it was my mothers default behaviour pattern.

Lets look for something positive to come out of this experience. There are lots of us who fall off the wagon by comfort eating when stressed. I don’t think over the last few months there has been a discussion of alternative ideas for the times stress overtakes us on food choices. Personally, I am switching out my settee to have some different chairs in the lounge. One is a rocking chair, and the other is a big chair I can curl in under a blanket, with a packet of walnuts and a package of radishes to nibble on.

What do others do to dial down on carbs as part of trying to break away from comfort eating?

JGwen – it’s a good question. I’m not sure it’s one that I have really mapped an answer for myself and perhaps I should given the stressful period I seem to be in my life.

The biggest thing I need to do is keep my brain occupied and/or empty. I know I should give mindfulness another go. I can lie in bed for hours worrying about stuff. I hate it. So I should try mindfulness but also I just try to engage my brain.

That could mean watching something really engrossing or going birdwatching. At night I put on documentaries.

There are some beautiful and caring posts to wake up to this morning! Thank you all. Before I sign off on this thread,
I’d like to add some context to my own journey….I didn’t find these forums until 10 months in and a loss of 140lbs.
Imagine my surprise to discover that I had been doing the BSD all along 🙂 I arrived with maintenance in mind, and
recognized almost immediately that something very special was happening here. Not only do we share our weight
loss challenges, but forge intimate friendships in the process. Kazzi is already my friend for life, and we met here
on this wonderful forum! I believe my posting history speaks to who I am, so I’m not going to address any of
hummingbirds remarks, because they are the antithesis of the spirit of this forum as I have known it to be. It
saddens me to read what as been attributed to me, but has in no way diminished my enthusiasm for this community.
I hope to see you all out and about 🙂 🙂 🙂

Allie

Allie, I am not part of this challenge as I have a lot on at the moment. For that reason I have taken some time away and it is amazing how much less pressure I feel not to have to log in and confess or otherwise every day. However, I am still quite nosey so I know you have recently had a misunderstanding which will be on your mind but I hope that is not going to deter you from taking part in other ‘events’ on here. Knowing you I can agree with others that you would not of meant any harm and sometimes the message you meant to convey can get lost in the written word as there is no emotion, no humour comes across, no winking or tongue in cheek – I have upset many people because they read something quite differently to what I thought I had said. Move on, take a breather and come back soon. And dont forget – keep on keeping on…

Hummingbird
I will respect your wishes and only respond to your first post – I’ve read your account on the other thread.

I think it’s very brave of you to state your gain – I had a gain over the weekend but wasn’t brave enough to admit to the numbers… so here goes… I weighed 15 st 6 before the weekend. On Tuesday I weighed 15 st 12 – that’s a 6lb gain over 4 days – or maybe 5, I’ve lost track…
Today I weigh 15 st 7 – that’s a 5lb loss over 2 days – scales are not always the best indicator of how well you’re doing. Holidays are difficult for lots of people so I admire the fact that you are back on track and determined to do this. I am inspired by your determination and am trying to do the same myself. Thank you for sharing your stats – it has helped me be a bit braver and admit mine.

I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life – a fat child and then an obese adult. I’m now 49 years old and still struggling with the same problem – or maybe my weight is just a reflection of other problems? I too am dealing with these issues with a therapist. I’ve spent years blaming other people for my unhappiness and it has been a hard struggle to accept that I am responsible for my own life – I choose what I put in my mouth – and I choose how I respond to taunts from others. Society is very cruel towards fat people, in particular the very obese. I could be in tears daily, or choose to lie in bed and never leave the house – but I don’t. I go out into the world – hey world – look at me! I’m super obese and I’m here – deal with it. I cover my struggle with a smile on my face and then eat in private to assuage my feelings. Reading between the lines, I get the feeling you do the same. Your post to JGwen is very amusing – you have a lovely writing style – but it’s also OK not to hide your feelings with humour.

I’ve lost 2.5 stones in total and I have another 6.5 stones to go. Let’s do this together … back on the straight and narrow – this woe does work and we can do this together.

There is a lot of support here for those of us who struggle – let’s grab hold of it together. Can I make a pact with you – we both lose 4lbs by next Tuesday – weigh-in day?

I will just make one reference to your post to Allie – we often see our own feelings about ourselves reflected in others and I think you realise that because you tried to retract your post. Please do remember this forum is very positive and people are here to receive as well as give support.

All the best
x

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I can only speak for myself and say that this thread is important to me and I hope it is not taken down.

Hummingbird – you have been on my mind all day and I had to think very carefully about how I responded to you. Please take some time to think about why this matters to you so much. There has been a lot of support for you on this thread – please focus on that. You do not need Allie’s forgiveness to move on and you are not an outsider. There are a lot of us here. Is it really her comments which are making you angry or the way you feel about yourself? I wish I knew how I could help you…

On an entirely different note – I won’t be measuring myself this week but next week so hope to report a small decrease then. I’ve had a bit of a different week so thought I’d measure when it was all balanced back again.

Shansu – I don’t want this thread taken down either – it’s important to me too and I value the support I get on here.

JGwen, dialing the carbs down in stressful times is an ongoing struggle for me. Last night I took a fork to the jar of really good kimchi in my fridge. Only a small forkful, but it gave some crunch and a lot of heat in my mouth which meant I would lose the flavour of anything sweet I might otherwise have had as a snack (left over Easter eggs here – they were the “just in case anyone else called in during the grandies’ E.E hunt. I’m ignoring them. I am…I am…)

Oh, dear, some calmness needed here. For by far the majority of people this thread, and its’ antecedents over many months, has been the opposite of hurtful and non-productive. It has been the vehicle for much kindness and support and does not need to be taken down. My opinion, as one who has been on the receiving end of such kindness and support, even as recently as this month.

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Maidtomeasure – thank you for changing the mood. I look forward to hearing your update next week.
JGwen – I’ve started eating cheese and nuts in the evenings – when the urge to snack attacks. I’ve found a nice sheep’s milk cheese in my local supermarket and have that with walnuts or almonds. I have been overdoing it though and eating too much of it, so have to start measuring my snacks – low carb does not mean low calorie.
Allie – I discovered raw cacao nibs a while back. I don’t find them so nice on their own but quite like them mixed in with yogurt or a chia pudding. I like the crunch they add.
Marsie – yes, I agree.
On a totally different subject – the sun is shining and lots of people coming and going in the park outside my window. Sadly I’m stuck in the office, but I hope to escape a bit early and enjoy some of the sunshine before it completely disappears.
KOKO everyone
X

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Oh this is awful to wake up to this thread today — Allie, I know you wrote from your warm heart and Hummingbird, I’m sorry you have been hurt.
It is a clear example of how hard and complicated it is to communicate by text.

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It is sad to see the level of pain revelled today.

Hummingbird, you mentioned in an early post that you are working with a therapist, I know from my early days of lurking that anyone can read all posts, you just have to register as a member to post. – It sounds to me that rather than deleting posts, it may be helpful for you to consider the posts on this thread with the assistance of your therapist rather than us responding any further given the communication difficulties of texts compared to talking in person.

Regarding deleting this thread – Every month there is one thread where all that want to set themselves a challenge for that week and then report in on a tuesday. – It would not be appropriate to delete this thread.

Allie, you have been an inspiration to me and many others on this forum and I believe that all of us taking part in this months challenge would be a little poorer / less successful, if we could not benefit from your experience and support. Please remain on this forum.

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While I remember I would like to thank the person who mentioned about energy levels and B vitamins/ iron the other week.
I have been enjoying my extra energy levels over the last few days but at the same time puzzling why it had happened at this point. I suddenly realised today that it was probably due to the multivitamins plus iron supplements I started taking after seeing that post.
Sorry I can’t remember who it was, but thank you anyway.

JGwen – your post was just what I needed to read this morning. I’ve had really bad fatigue this week, hardly had the energy to cook dinner last night. I have a bottle of B vitamins in the cupboard so going to try them 🙂
Also I agree with your thoughts on Allie. Allie, please don’t go! I’ve always found your posts supportive and insightful. Our 4 week challenges wouldn’t be the same without you x

Hi SueBlue,
I understand low iron levels can also cause fatigue, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3414597/
Because I am a vegetarian and have cut out most pulses while I have been keeping carbs right down my iron intake from my diet will have dropped through the floor.

JGwen, so great that your energy levels have picked up and I’m glad to have helped trigger you to take the steps to start feeling better. I am 3 weeks in on the iron and B12 supplements and have noticed a slight increase in my energy level. I had a bit of spring to my step today when I was walking home with my groceries, and that hasn’t happened for a while! Hoping that gets even better as the weeks pass. I think my rate of hair loss has slowed and the pins and needles I was getting in my hands and feet has definitely lessened, so that should mean that at least my B12 levels have improved. I went back and looked at my micronutrient tallies for when I was on 800-1000 cal per day and I was only getting about 8mg of iron per day, so in hindsight, not surprising that I ended up being low. With a lot of effort, I managed to have one day this week with 19mg of iron from food.
A big NSV for this week is that the sugar/starch cravings have now disappeared completely. I think it really is a form of pica. Some people eat pure starch when they have pica due to low in iron, like cornstarch or even laundry starch, but it seems for me it is starch mixed with sugar (usually in the form of an insatiable appetite for cake) or chocolate. I’m now enjoying sauerkraut and kimchi again. I think that the lesson learned for me is that I need to consider my micronutrient levels in any long term woe otherwise it simply won’t be sustainable.

JGwen, SueBlue, ArcticFox – I also just wanted to say that I’ve noticed improvements in my energy levels since taking vitamin B complex tablet each day. Here’s to gambolling around like spring lambs this weekend! 🙂
Kazzeex

Oh, w-e-ll, I LIKE radish chat …. hello to any other happy radish chatterers out there xx😀

Morning All,
Rather surprisingly to me, I’ve found myself mulling over and pondering JGwen’s post from the 2nd April time and time again this week – the one about struggling to achieve what you want in life because you don’t know what you want or why you want it.

My thoughts have kept returning to this – the ‘what I want’ should be obvious – to lose weight, but then how much? The ‘why’ is proving to be much more slippery to pin down – to be healthier? to feel better? to look sexier? to get into smaller clothes? But they seem like such soundbite answers to the little voice in my head that nothing is really resonating with me.

I’ve tried visualisation (normally just before going to sleep at night) of the me now becoming the thinner / lighter me of the future, but again my little devil voice in my head just ends up rolling around the floor laughing hysterically and the vision fades.

Hopefully some more reading over the weekend, and continued self reflection on the above will help my mind progress further to me being able to pin down a couple of ‘concrete’ goals that I can really focus on, instead of drifting along thinking ‘well, I’ve lost the weight before, one more square of chocolate (or 2 or 5) won’t matter’.

Hmmm, what I really need is a very warm and sunny weekend so I can spend all of it in the garden digging and weeding and planting and letting my thoughts drift.

Good ness, you’ve all been busy.

Here I am back at my 58.xkg weight – can’t really complain, it’s a heLthy BMI for me. Can’t explain how I went down to 57.1kg or how I went back. Up again. Still v low carb, still eating a lot, fallen off the 16:8 habit and using way too much cream as is my bad habit, I’ve found lots of cafes will give it you if you ask for it with an Americano.

Anyhow, thought I would just say KOKO as it clearly does work and at the other end you get to eat lots and stay thin (in my case as long as you pack carbs and all but the really occasional glass of champagne or gin and soda). Interested to read about thinking about refecting on motivation – until I got terrified I was going to get diabetes (was pre-diabetic) I couldn’t get motivated,. Now I am normal weight, I am motivated more by wearing size 8 jeans, though this was definitely a by-product of the original motivation I find I am very pleased with it.

More or less binned the idea of losing more this challenge,. Maybe see you in a while next time, this forum was so key to helping me lose weight, I think more even than the book. Hope you guys get to where you want to be xxx

I think you have hit the nail on the head treelady with your post about the why. – Having a goal which is months away but means more than the chocolate in hand is such a powerful thing. –
I would be the same as you if my only aim on loosing weight was changing dress sizes, looks just are not that important to me. The key for me is having something I want to do that isn’t possible at a heavier weight.

Is there something you have always wanted to do but there is a weight limit?

You talk a lot about your garden, Is there a goal related to your garden – something which would be easier if more slender, would it be easier to bend, reach areas, would you like to be fit enough to take on a bigger project?

Are there gardens or plant based trips you would love to do but it involves spending days walking to reach a remote location so you need to keep the amount of weight down to make the journey easier/more enjoyable? Even maybe a trip to a rain forest which would be uncomfortable combining sweat with chaffing?

Thinking about it treelady, maybe I shouldn’t have focused so much on gardening/plant examples. – How about looking at it from this angle.

On your deathbed what’s going to be the thing(s) that you would regret the most about never having done, where the reason you couldn’t do them is your weight/fitness level. That’s your WHY.

Readings on the scales, dress size labels in clothes are never going to be as powerful as that WHY when it comes to sticking to one bite of chocolate or one spoonful of peanut butter instead of the whole jar.

Personally, I am going to start a scrap book, with cuttings and pictures of things I want to do in life. When things get too much rather than reaching for the chocolate I am going to pick up the scrap book to flick through and project planner to work on plans to achieve them.

JGwen some wise words there 🙂
I read this quote on Facebook this week and it really resonated with me. Please excuse the capital letters, I’m not shouting! Just I can’t underline or bold them on here to be able to highlight.
“A DREAM written down with a date becomes a GOAL.
A GOAL broken down into STEPS becomes a PLAN.
A PLAN backed by ACTION becomes a REALITY.”
So let’s all work on our dreams 🙂

Hi JGwen and SueBlue,
thanks for replying – I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. I need to find something that overpowers my ‘right this minute’ urge for that extra piece of chocolate, or whatever, so that I can replace it with the ‘this is what I will attain’ thought instead. The gardening examples were fab because I hadn’t really thought about reaching goals in those terms. What with the rubbish weather, gloomy winter and now just feeling like I am emerging from hibernation, I know my thoughts will turn more positive the more I can get outside and do things. I think I shall repeat SueBlues quote to myself as I fall asleep over the next few nights, and see what my subconscious comes up with.
: )

Jackie – It’s lovely to hear from you. I’ve been wondering how you are. I’ve just read your positives – what a thrill to be invited to audition for something. I’ve always had a sneaky admiration for people who have the…. what is it? courage, nerve, je ne sais quoi? (front, my lovely mum would have called it!) to perform – and I bet it’s great fun, too.

SueBlue – I love that quote

JGwen – I really like the idea of the scrap book – and using it instead of reaching for the chocolate. I think I might start one too. Mine would be full of my travel plans and it would motivate me to stick to this woe.

treelady – I know what you mean. I’ve tried to lose weight over many years and failed – and in part I think it’s been because my goals were ‘to lose weight’, ‘to get healthy’ etc. Good goals – but just not enough to keep me motivated. It was the diabetes diagnosis that did it for me. Or rather what that disease could stop me doing. I’m 62 and realised if I really want to travel to far flung places now and as I get older I seriously need to be healthy – to be able to walk more easily, to not be prone to illnesses while abroad etc. I want to avoid the complications of diabetes as long as I can, definitely, but what motivates me are the things I want to still achieve. Hope you find yours.

Btw, I know the lovely people on here have congratulated me on losing 5 stone – thanks everyone, and I’m definitely pleased and proud of doing it, but as I’ve said before I’ve personally found it much easier to lose weight and keep going because of the diabetes diagnosis than I ever did without it.

Anyway, talking of diabetes, my great news for me this week; I went for my second follow-up Hba1c test last Thursday. My Hba1c shows my blood sugar has gone up 1 point from 35mmol/mol (Nov 17) to 36 mmol/mol (April 18) but it’s still well within the normal range i.e. below 41.9 mmol/mol. For those who don’t know my history, my original Hba1c on Type II diagnosis in August 17 was 106 mmol/mol.

Although it’s gone up a point I’m delighted. I’ve been experimenting with what I’ve been eating, (though all still BSD and <20g carbs) and reduced significantly the number of times I’ve been testing my bgls, so was prepared for a rise in Hba1c – so only 1 point is brilliant. I saw a practice nurse yesterday – a different practice nurse from the one I saw in November – and she was equally amazed at the effect the BSD woe had on my blood sugars. She has suggested my next Hba1c should be in six months not three, and that if at that point my bloods are still in the normal range that I should only have an Hba1c annually. Wow.

The slight downside is my total cholesterol has gone up. I won’t go into it here as I’ve posted about it separately, but I’m onto it.

As part of my Christmas present my husband bought me a 2 night weekend trip over to the Lake District and it’s this weekend. I’m going on my own – bliss – so will catch up with everyone on Monday. Have a good weekend everyone. xxx

N.B. I am soooo looking forward to the Breakfast in Bed & Breakfast!

Marie – fantastic news on the BGs 🙂 and also on the 5 stone loss. Look forward to hearing about your solo trip. 🙂

Marie123, just popping on to say a huge congratulations your recent achievements. Your Doctors Practice must be so pleased with you.
Take care,
Nonna Mary
xxx

This was a double entry so I deleted it. lol

Hi Marie
That is great news on your bg results – really fantastic. But I’m also really I’m impressed that your GP surgery has been monitoring you every 3 months – not the usual – here’s some tablets and don’t come back for another year. I’m due my annual test but I’m putting it off… Enjoy your weekend at the lake district, but wrap up warm, I’m bet it’s cold there at this time of year.

Treelady – JGwen’s two points really struck a nerve with me too. Somehow wanting to wear nicer clothes seems a bit frivolous when doing something so life changing. I want reducing my bg to be my motivation – and it is to some degree – but maybe not enough. Certainly something to think about. I’m glad you’re finding yours.

SueBlue – really good quotes – thanks. I’ve started putting some of these quotes around me – on my fridge and at work to try and keep myself surrounded by positive thoughts.
KOKO everyone and have a lovely weekend.
X

I’m loving the conversation about motivation, and why we want to change. It’s something I really struggle with, it didn’t take many pounds loss to take me to a ‘healthy’ weight, so for me my goal isn’t that far off, but at the moment feels out of reach. I took a week off this WOE after 6 weeks on it. I wanted to treat myself for my hard work, and to have a reward in sight during those 6 weeks. I realise now that I was looking at it all wrong. I am addicted to carbs. I know that because I sat in my car yesterday, and ate a whole pack of jam doughnuts and then hid the evidence. I was almost too ashamed to tell my boyfriend, but I’m glad that I did. I felt physically and emotionally awful last night, and maybe those feelings will help motivate me to make better choices.

I wonder whether I am sabotaging myself, that my self-esteem hasn’t yet recovered from the hit it took when I put on 3 stone. I wonder whether I don’t feel worthy of being the slim and active person I want to be, or that I fear that I’ll get to my goals and still not be happy with who I am.

Sorry if this is all a bit much, I guess I’m just doing a bit of soul searching! Sadly I don’t have the answer yet, but reading the posts over the last couple of days has made me take a big look at myself, what I’m doing and why, and I’m really grateful to this forum for pushing me in that direction ☺️

Nicki, Nick.Nicki! Of course your thoughts are never a “bit much”! JGwen always comes up with
thought provoking comments, and we are all a little better for it 🙂 Thanks, Gwen! You tweaked a
memory for me this morning, Nicki..and I wonder if you or anyone else might relate. About 15 years
ago I was being treated for depression, and had to see a neuropsychopathologist for meds. After
hearing my 6 month long history, she asked me this astounding question; “Is the reason you’ve
taken so long to seek treatment is because you don’t believe you deserve to feel well?” How’s
that for a conversation starter 🙂 I’ve certainly never forgotten it, although it has no application
in my life today. I know there is a group of very special, thoughtful and sensitive women on this
thread, and you will lift each other up and become stronger in the bonds of friendship that you
establish here.
I’m very much a spiritual rather than a religious person, but I’m going to add this poem for Gattina
or anyone else who may not be familiar with the “Serenity Prayer”:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.
(Alcoholics Anonymous)

Good day, all !!

Allie