I apologize in advance for this very, very long post. I get a tad obsessive about recording the precise details of how I made something, because I spent the first 30 years of my life making stuff and forgetting how I did it. Add the calories and carbs counting and the details wind up a tad long-winded. It’s worth the read if you make the dish, though, I swear!
I made a version of my favorite Chinese takeaway, Shrimp Lo Mein, last week and while it doesn’t taste exactly like the standard because I could not use sugary oyster sauce or lo mein noodles, I was shocked at how delicious it was. It’s also one of the lowest calorie dinners I’ve made despite being very filling. You can literally eat half of it for 250 calories, and usually I end up eating no more than a third of it (a quarter for lunch). Oh, and also, like the original takeaway, it’s even better cold out of the fridge the next day.
Shrimp Faux Mein
8 oz crimini mushrooms, trimmed and sliced
2 oz snow peas, sliced thinly lengthwise
1 clove garlic (5 grams), minced
1 medium green onion (16 grams), white part minced and green tops chopped
1/2 lb medium or large cooked shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 tblsp fresh lime juice
1 package (12 oz) kelp noodles
3 tsp toasted sesame oil
3 tblsp soy sauce
1 tblsp hot chili garlic sauce
First a word about kelp noodles. A lot of people don’t like them because they say they taste plasticky or fishy and the crunchy, translucent noodles are hardly nonna’s hand-made fettucine. I love them. If you put a little effort into the prep, they come out great. They taste like nothing, absorbing everything you put on them, and can be twirled like spaghetti no problem. The entire 12 oz bag is 24 calories and 4 grams of fiber, so zero net carbs, which gave me very, very good incentive to figure out how to use these guys right. What follows is my system established by trial and error.
Drain and rinse the kelp noodles in a colander. Thread your fingers through the noodle mat as you run it under hot water, separating out the strands as much as possible so it looks more like a bird’s nest than a brick. Squeeze the lime juice in a large bowl. Add a tea kettle full of boiling water. Put the drained noodles in the lime water and let sit for an hour. When the hour is up, strain again and let them sit in the colander until they’re called for.
Next up is the dressing. Combine soy sauce, two teaspoons of the toasted sesame oil, the chili garlic sauce and the minced white part of the scallion in a small bowl. Whisk. Set aside. If you have a low carb thickener (I use a combination of plant gums that is shockingly effective and leaves zero trace of itself in taste and color), you can add no more than a half teaspoon and whisk until the dressing clings to the whisk. It’s totally optional, though. You don’t need to thicken it for it to be awesome.
Put the last teaspoon of sesame oil in a large pan, heat on medium and sautee the mushrooms. Lightly salt and pepper to help them release their juices. Once they’ve softened a little, add the snow peas and sautee for a couple of minutes. I like them still crunchy with a bit of that delicious raw peapod taste. If you prefer them softer, cook an extra minute or two. Add the garlic and sautee for a minute until fragrant.
Add the shrimp. I buy them already boiled, but you could use raw. You just have to cook them first and readd once you’ve sauteed the veggies. You only sautee them with the veg for a minute or so to heat up.
Add the kelp noodles. Add the dressing. Mix everything together in the pan. I use one of those spaghetti claw thingies because it’s the best at distributing wet material through long noodles. The noodles will change color to the brownish red of the dressing wherever it’s mixed in thoroughly, it’s easy to tell when the sauce is well-distributed.
Serve topped with chopped green parts of the scallion. Or pack it all up and have it for lunches and dinners starting the next day.
Counting this as a feast for two (and it really could easily serve four), it’s 250 calories, 6 grams net carbs, 4 fiber per serving. It’s even lower in calories made with chicken rather than shrimp. Other veggies also work in this. It’s very versatile and adjustable to personal tastes.