Random mindfulness hints and tips

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  • posted by Mixnmatch
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    I have been meaning for some time to try to increase the traffic in the Mindfulness section. It seems to be easily the quietest ‘room’ and, certainly in my opinion, is one of the most important, if not the most important reason behind the success of this way of eating for me when I’d almost given up hope of ever getting to the end of the yo-yo dieting rollercoaster and I was getting bigger every time.

    This thread is therefore intended for anyone to put hints and tips in, ways they have found of thinking their way past the carb monster when he/she rampages, or of battling emotional eating habits, or even just reporting how much more you enjoy a treat when it is approached mindfully and with your full attention.

    I have recently bought a copy of the ‘Headspace diet’ book, and may use a few quotes and suggestions from that as well, all duly acknowledged of course.

    The most important mindful hint I can pass on from my personal experience is that you don’t have to be perfect. If you miss a couple of days targets when life gets in the way, just get back to your new normal when you can and don’t feel guilty. You won’t break the diet, or your willpower so easily provided you always remember why you started down this road. The mind is the most important tool we have when it comes to taking charge of our health.

  • posted by Bissell
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    Good morning Mixnmatch and thank you for starting this thread.

    Yes, I do agree that the ‘mental stuff’ is by far the most important element of this WOE for me. I speak as a lifelong yo yo dieter, for whom losing weight was always the easy part; keeping it off was the key. Maintainance is always the boring bit for me. I like the achievement of losing weight, jumping out of bed to see the scales, hearing other people’s comments on my improving shape, buying clothes in a smaller size etc etc.

    But this time I really am beginning to feel it will be different. I’ve maintained my weight loss for nearly 10 months now, which feels like quite an achievement. So what’s different this time?

    I’m an all or nothing’ sort of a person. I don’t enjoy moderation (I nearly wrote ‘can’t do’ moderation, but that’s just not true) but I’ do enjoy eating, planning meals, shopping for food, cooking. In fact, the eating is almost the least important bit, I have just realised. One can’t stop eating, like one can stop smoking, for instance. But I have stopped eating ‘obvious’ carbs. I don’t have to think about it now, I just don’t eat them. I eat loads of fat ( my favourite food group!) and I try and remember to eat enough veg. I don’t particularly restrict more carby veg like carrots anymore and that seems fine. I have the odd lentil ( I know, what hedonism) and I pinch at least 2 chips a week. But I’m so much happier with my new lifestyle, how I feel and how I look that a cream bun, once my object of desire, just doesn’t compete. I also try and find other ways of ‘rewarding’ myself. A long soak in the bath, some new nail varnish, a potter in the garden. And I remind myself that it takes me literally 2 minutes to eat said cream bun, which would lead to a whole day of regret. It’s just not that appealing.

    Sorry for the long ramble!

  • posted by SunnyB
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    You are both right, the BSD is not just about losing the weight, or even about keeping it off once lost, but is about recalibrating our mind set when it comes to what, how and when we eat and drink. I am so much more conscious of what I consume now, but like you Bissel, paradoxically the process is becoming more and more an instinctive second nature.

    The initial problem – and still is for me on occasion – maintaining motivation and positivity when things get tough. And you’re right of course Mixnmatch, a day ‘off-piste’ doesn’t break the diet and mean you have failed, it just means your willpower was temporarily a bit shaky. It in no way negates your achievements to date and often doesn’t even register on the scales. The important bit is to find the motivation to get back to basics and continue the journey.

    Like many, for me the mindfulness is the least attended to aspect of the BSD and something I only really think about when things get tough. Keeping a positivity mind set helps I think, so my tip would be reflecting at the end of each day, on anything positive that has happened – write it down even. In every day no matter how bad it’s been, there is a small ray of light, even if it’s just a smile from a stranger or someone holding a door open for you. Some find mindfulness in activity – people often find they can use exercise to focus the mind for a period of reflection.

    It will be interesting to read what others use and suggest for increasing mindfulness. Think this has the potential to become a fascinating thread.

  • posted by Mixnmatch
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    Ramble away, Bissett, the more the merrier. I am hoping that this will become part of the process of fixing the good habits for me so now I have reached my target the mental side doesn’t let me down, so any advice and tips are welcome. It is interesting what you were saying about mindfulness in activity, SunnyB, I used to do regular Tai Chi sessions at a local gym, and at times that was almost like a moving meditation. Maybe I need to look out a class again, and try to get back to that place with it, badminton is great, but not quite so meditative..

  • posted by ddraig_goch
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    I read somewhere recently that will power is a muscle and needs to be trained just like any other muscle. Since mine must be very flabby and near death,, this seems a very good idea to me. So I have bought a pack of each of the foods I most crave before I restarted the diet last week and have aimed not touch them for 100 days. These include berries, 90% chocolate, nuts, butter and cream. I have labelled each item with the start date and the date when my 100 days is up and have put them away in the freezer or all together in a cupboard drawer as appropriate. They are there for me to eat, but I know that overindulgence of these things has gained me 2 of the 4 stone I lost when I originally quit sugar and carbs 4 years ago last week. I also know that sticking to my new regime of 800cals and 10000 steps with a 16/8 daily fast can rid me of those 2 stone and hopefully more besides. So when my inner self begins to whisper in my ear that I really DO NEED a little something I don’t want to have, I open the drawer or freezer and look at the item concerned. Then I coax my flabby willpower muscle out to play and tell my inner self that yes, these things are in my grasp, but look how much fitter my new friend is getting and how much of a shame it would be if he got all flabby again. So I shut the drawer or freezer and walk away.
    Only another 91 days to go!

  • posted by Mixnmatch
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    I never did the cupboard clear out, so mine were full of things like never eaten Easter eggs, chocolate boxes, shortbread etc. (I was on a diet for a long time before i discovered BSD). I still have some of them, although I must admit some went in December, and a little more in January. I think it must have been a willpower exercise at first when I would open the cupboard door, look at them and close the door again. Lately though I haven’t even been doing that, and don’t really fancy most of it anymore. Keep that willpower exercise going and eventually it does get easier.

  • posted by SunnyB
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    I too keep ‘tempting’ foods around, with the thought that it’s there is I want it, but reading the nutrition panel and carb content is enough to boost my resolve not to go there – works in the supermarket too.

  • posted by Esnecca
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    Y’all are reminding me of that scene in Raging Bull where DeNiro gets his girlfriend to do below-the-belt things to him. Then just before the crucial moment he stops her and pours a pitcher of ice water down his shorts.

  • posted by Doodledootoo
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    Could planning ahead be considered part of mindfulness? I find success on this plan has involved really thinking about what I choose to decide to eat (or not eat). Even if what I choose to eat is off plan I have made the concious decision. Also I feel in the early days I was worrying about being potentially awkward when ordering, but you know people order off menu regularly for a variety of reasons, it really is little hassle to the restaurant. Sometimes they get it wrong but hey I can eat around the random pile of rice or potato on my plate. Also most people don’t care what I am eating! Lastly I feel being able to say no confidently without offending is a big one. To people who know me well I laugh it off…. to those who don’t and are insistent I just say “oh I can’t”, hold my stomach, make a weird face and leave them wondering😄

  • posted by ddraig_goch
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    When I first stopped eating sugar (i.e. No packaged food I had not read the label of first) and grains, all I ever seemed to do was say no. Eventually people got the message but it took a while. NO is a small word but a very powerful one and every time you say it, it gets easier to stay true to yourself no matter what so called good intentions others are trying to throw at you.

  • posted by Mixnmatch
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    I definitely think planning ahead is part of mindfulness, whether it is day to day menu planning or the longer term holiday planning where you know certain things may be relaxed, but know your boundaries. This is part of why I am so convinced this is why this way of eating is so successful. It really makes you think!

  • posted by ddraig_goch
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    I definitely need to take this on board. Because I am working to a daily average over the week my wk begins unplanned then the last 3days is few cals and many steps (very much planned!). Maybe that’s the reason for my stall this week.
    Next week I shall aim to even them out over the week. Will be interesting to see if it makes a difference

  • posted by SunnyB
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    Think averaging over the week in the way you have been doing it, is not a good way to go, ddraig_goch. Much safer to work to the 800 mark, even if you are slightly over or under, on a daily basis and then do a daily average when you get to the end of the week to see how it balances out. Alternatively, do averages on a daily basis – which is what I do. I keep track throughout each day and log cal and carb in take and then as the days tick by, work out what my average calorie intake is running at over the week. I’m much stricter about carbs, which I ALWAYS keep under 30g per day and usually on or below 20g, so I don’t average these.

  • posted by ddraig_goch
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    Hi SunnyB my carb count is usually under 10g, 15g max so not bothered about carbs. I have taken your advice on board and am loosely planning my daily cals based on what the first meal of the day is. So if I have 500cals for meal 1 then I adjust meal 2 to be 300cals. So the days cals are now coming in a lot closer to the 800 mark than before (1050 has been my max since I started so I was never that far out anyway). I’m no good at sticking to a planned week so this way seems to work best for me.
    The hardest part has always been evening snacking for me but strangely, since practising mindfulness, I have been eating meal 1 approx. 10am and meal 2 has been getting closer and closer rather than the original planned 6pm. After that I seem to be forgetting about food and am no longer bothered about it.
    Strange how the mind works. I have been sitting here with todays meal one in front of me since 09:50 and its now 11:26 and I’m not in the least bit interested in eating it despite having last eaten approx. 2pm yesterday.
    Because of the constant evening snacking I was doing before which led me to put the weight back on, I have decided to use mindfulness to only eat when I am hungry and it seems to be working. I don’t think its a question of willpower (that come into play if I go to the fridge for someone else near bedtime and have to remind myself that I don’t want to break my 16hr fast), I think its just retraining the mind to listen to the body properly and not be detracted by all the other information it is being fed like TV adverts and the bar of chocolate shouting at me occasionally when I open the cupboard door.

  • posted by SunnyB
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    Seems like you really have things sussed now, ddraig_goch. I am working to a 16:8 at the moment too and also find that waiting until noon and gone to eat my first meal is fine. Have to eat the evening meal latter than you though, to save having to do two meals separately – mine and for OH. I try to split my calories to have the bulk of them for evening meal, but it depends what is going on.

    Mind set is so important on the BSD and being able to approach food with consciousness, is I think something we can definitely train ourselves to do. Certainly developing the habit of checking if you actually need to eat, or if the desire is being driven by something other than hunger, is a very useful thing to do.

    Keep going everyone!

  • posted by ddraig_goch
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    This morning I was struck by how the mind can sink you to the depths of despair or the heights of anticipation depending on how you view an event.

    When I weighed this morning I am the same lb weight as I have been for the last 2 days, despite treadmilling/cycling my cal intake daily. This made me despair of ever moving down to the next elusive lb. (Yes I know its only been 3 days and I have been lucking with big weight losses up to now, but that’s the mind for you.)

    Then I charted my weight and now, instead of looking at the whole lb part only, this action made me look at the decimal part as well. I have lost 0.4lb daily over the last 3 days. From this I realized 2 things, first the decimal part was now zero so, unless I have a gain, I must fall into the next lb tomorrow, and secondly, I worked out that if I carried on losing 0.4lb/day I would reach my ultimate, probably no lower, goal by mid July. These thoughts elated me to a real high.

    Now I know that the chances of me losing 0.4lb every day for the next 3 months is highly unlikely, but this has reminded me that it is always possible to find a positive in a negative. You just have to look for it by viewing the wider picture.

  • posted by Mixnmatch
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    Great idea, there is always a silver lining if you look hard enough, and it is often in the big picture, not the details.

  • posted by Haylie
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    @ddraig_goch: Your thoughts sound really encouraging! I will keep that in mind the next time I weigh myself, because I usually feel discouraged when the weight stands still. But no change is also better than gaining weight!

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