Hi all first time posting on the forum but to be honest have been coming on here for a long time. Have done the BSD on two occasions first time lost 38 Lb put it all back on again second time lost 54lb again put it on again plus more. I find the problem is not my motivation but those around me,my family constantly undermine my lifestyle choices and especially this way of eating and generally feel like they sabotage my attempts as soon as I have the weight off they do the old oh you don’t look healthy oh you don’t eat at all and will push their food choices on me. The big problem is they like myself are all over weight but don’t recognise it they think they are fine because is always someone bigger than them. Anyone have similar experience
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Hi 40andgoingon80, Welcome to the site. First of all you dont mention if there are medical reasons for wanting to lose weight. There doesnt have to be but good to know for both what advice you get and how much you are motivated. You can obviously motivate yourself and know you can do this. I’m sorry about all the negative people around you. As you say they are all overweight it might just be a case of jealousy because I bet they have all tried to lose at some time. You have to make them understand how important it is to you and that you just want to be fit and healthy. Another reason is that people dont want to lose the person they know now. You have to reassure them that changing on the outside doesnt mean you are a different person, just a happier healthier person. Talk to them about what they think of the diet and try to encourage them to give some parts of it a try, especially as they see it working for you. I dont believe in overweight and happy or overrweight and healthy. Even if someone is overweight and healthy today there will be consequences in the future. I’m sure you know the perils as you say you want to be healthy, heart disease, diabetes just to name two but also mobility issues and self esteem issues.
Dont just hang around, join in conversations where you feel you can. Keep coming back for a burst of motivational kick up the proverbial. Always someone here to keep you on track and drown out those other voices.
I can really empathise.
People are generally positive about the change in the way I look. However, although *everyone* knows what I’m trying to achieve and how I’m going about it, I often feel there is little support. There’s not a willingness to travel with me and I find temptations at every turn. At times, it gets confrontational – and your use of the word “sabotage” does resonant with me.
The author and TV guy Richard Osman documented his battles with “food addiction” and I’ll often cite his interviews, especially when people say, “That cake left on the worktop wasn’t for you – It’s your lack of self-control”.
I also think that men and women are treated differently. Women are more likely to receive comments like “Be careful not to lose too much weight” and “Losing too much weight can make you look unhealthy / unattractive / older / ….”. In the 4 cases where I’ve seen this happen, it was motivated by jealousy and the person who said it subsequently started eating more healthily and losing quite a bit of weight.
People lie; Numbers don’t. For me, it’s prick tests and HBA1C’s, scales and height to weight ratio and little things like riding my bike for the first time in 6 months and thinking “wow, this is so much easier”. Enjoy those positives and achievements, enjoy the nice comments and ignore the nasty ones….. Good luck!
My mum. For sure. Has it in her head that our family is predisposed to High Blood Pressure, T2 Diabetes (she has both) etc etc. Always makes a song and dance whenever I see her. She enjoys her cooking but and likes cooking for me… – “oh but you don’t eat this, don’t eat that etc”. Yes mum but I DO eat all this. I also think secretly deep down she’s jealous that I’ve lost that weight and kept it off, she has been yo yo dieting for as long as I can remember.
Additionally I am a 6ft+ ex rugger male so a lot of people think I didn’t need to lose weight. Oh yes I did.
I went to a 50th Birthday party the other week. A lot of my old Rugby team mates were there and it was the first proper gathering since Covid. A lot of people I haven’t seen since lockdown started, some I haven’t seen for a long time before that. We’re all around that 50 mark. Goodness me. A lot of people carrying excess weight around the waist. Not everyone but a lot of people.
Mindsets need to change. People consider that ‘well nourished’ look as healthy. It isn’t.
I would also say try and change your mindset. Rather than miss what your family is eating, enjoy your way of eating. This is the key to my (two and a half year) success.
@freester: There’s a whole sub topic on obesity in ex-rugby players.
When I was 15, I was 6’2 and 17st second row with very little fat on me.
By the time I was playing club rugby I was 18st but very fit and very strong.
It conditions your thinking on weight and BMI and what is normal…. and then you stop playing…. and stop training… and your muscle fads and the fat takes over.
History repeats : My son is 19 and was playing up to a bad shoulder dislocation this year. His friends and him have laughed about their BMIs
Hi sunshine girl, main reason behind the weight loss aim is i am currently pre diabetic hba1c of 46 with high BP and cholesterol aswell used to live a very active lifestyle in the past but all gone by the way side but today is a new day and day 1 again
posted by waveCrest
on 16 May 2022 at 15:24
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from today’s daily mail :
Exactly the reaction i get!!!!!!!
Basically, it boils down to :
Do you think you look better?
Do you believe you are healthier?
Would someone who never knew the unhealthy you meet you in the street, would they think you’ve lost too much weight?
There’s also a sexist thing at play.
My partner joined me when she saw the results that I was getting.
Whilst people are generally complimentary to me, they are much more likely to say negative stuff to her like, “You can lose too much weight” which is crushing. It’s almost always women. And in quite a few cases, they’ve gone on to their own health journey afterwards.
You’ve recognised their negative behaviours. Just ignore them and focus on you and what you want to achieve and what you want to be.
I’ve also had that experience although luckily it was with friends and wider family rather than those I live with. I did the BSD when I was diagnosed T2 and went very low carb. (I also lost 6st and got the weight comments too).
With me, I think some people (friends I didn’t see much) would just forget and offer me all sorts of carbs etc. Others, my older relatives (I’m 66 so I mean older older relatives) would find it upsetting and would push ‘normal’ food on me out of genuine concern. Then there were those who, like you say, just seemed annoyed at my food choices – as if I was rejecting them in some way, or maybe they thought I was making a comment/judgement about their way of eating – I never was. How I responded depended on which of the above it was.
The good thing is this time you can be prepared for those things, you know who is likely to be saying what, sabotaging how, and work out strategies for managing them.
I agree with the others. Keep tight hold of your reasons for doing this – you can reverse the pre-diabetes, you can get back to being active and fit again – it’s not gone forever. Really enjoy the food you can eat (find new treats) so you’re less tempted when they push their diet on you. You can change that name tag. Good luck and let us know how you go.
waveCrest – thanks for posting the article, it was an interesting read.