My husband is type 2 diabetic and has been told that he will be on insulin by Christmas if he doesn’t lose weight. He only pays lips service to this and whilst I do my best to cook healthily he has binge sessions which he thinks don’t matter really. I don’t nag I just try and carefully point out what is happening but he then gets very irratible. This I think is because his sugar levels go up. He has been known to just have a piece of cake for lunch if out! I know you can take a horse to water but can’t make it drink but I just see his health going downhill, he has problem feet, etc
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Hi GALLEYSLAVE this might sound harsh but you can’t force yr husband to do what you know would be best for him.
He has to take responsibility for his own health but it sounds like he just buries his head in the sand and continues to eat badly despite yr best efforts to cook healthily and encourage him to eat properly.
Some people never learn,some people only learn after a big wake up call,some people just one day click and start looking after themselves.
I feel youre doing as much as you can possibly do – you cook good meals but he binges. You try to gently point out he needs to change and he gets annoyed. Theres not a lot more you can do on top of what youre already doing, unless theres an underlying cause such as he is depressed or worried about something and is comfort eating.
I understand that you’re very concerned for him but unless you can have some long and open conversations to get to the bottom of it,without him getting irritated,i really feel you should just concentrate on yourself.
There’s a saying ” you can’t pour from an empty mug,so take care of yourself first” . Then at least if his health continues to deteriorate you’ll be in good shape for helping to look after him.
I really hope things improve for you very soon X
The challenge is that as his health deteriorates – and he will get some very hectic conditions over time – you will find yourself having to ‘look after him’ which can lead to a lot of resentment down the track as it is via something that could have been avoided or minimised if he took action. It also impacts your joint quality of life – ability to travel, socialise etc. My mother went through this with my father and a good 10 years of the last active years of her life were subordinate to taking care of my father for a condition he could have reduced/managed via diet and exercise. So it might be worth you also having a chat to him about the long term consequences of diabetes and it’s impact on you and the rest of the family. Maybe the ‘gentle persuasion’ is not necessarily the right way to go but consider some straight talking and shock tactics. I know some people tend to think “oh well I’ll just take insulin and it will be mangaged’ not really realising the reduction in life expectancy, mobility, vision impairment, amputations and other debilitating conditions that are the consequence of long term diabetes.
Will he watch this film which is about two sons and their father?
Can you speak to his doctor and get him/her to explain just what can happen with diabetes down the track? And give a really severe warning?
It’s true that people only change when they decide to, sadly.
I wish you all the best.
There is not much to add to comments already made, but I suspect that your husband might well be worried about his situation and is perhaps feeling a bit helpless and scared, in the face of what he probably feels is inevitable. Wonder if it would be possible for you to attend a visit to his doctor’s with him, so that the three of you can discuss the long term prognosis and what can be done to minimise impact? If between you, you and his doctor can make him feel he has some control, maybe he will get in the driver’s seat and make the changes which you know are necessary to improve his situation.
If he is a reader, perhaps you can encourage him to take a look at the BSD Fast 800 book, it might spark some light of hope for him.
Good luck and feel free to use us as a sounding board.
We have watched the film fixing dad and he said it was an eye opener and that no one had ever told him he could reverse his diabetes. He has been to slimming world and weight watchers and said he can’t stand them, all the happy clappy stuff! I went to slimming world, albeit not with him and although I understand what he means, it did enable me to lose 3stone! He just can’t seem to see past that. One day he is really good and then it is I feel like cheese and biscuits, a whisky or rum (a couple of large ones), or what can I have to nibble on!
Thank you, I have been with him to the doctors in the past! Doesn’t make a difference. He knows I will support him. I have just about finished reading the blood sugar diet book and hope to be able to persuade him to read it! I will even do it with him! Thanks for listening.
Good luck Galleyslave
OH has to take a lot of pills for various ailments. I bought the BSD book because I hoped he might do it with me to get off the Metformin for his Type 2 at least. I thought I’d do it, because although not Type 2, I was mildly carb addicted, and wanted to lose a stone.
So I started, and got a handle of what to do, and lo and behold, OH decided he’d do it with me. I had suggested that less carbs might help his blood sugar readings (he’d had very high bs recorded just ahead of a planned op, which had put the op at risk – and I think that was something he really wanted to avoid).
I started early May and fumbled my way through until I got hold of the fact that reducing the good carbs would help me within the 800 calories. He started at the end of May, and agreed to keep the overall carbs low, although he didn’t match the calories as he didn’t need or want to lose too much weight.
And I lost not a stone, but 2 stone! and he shed lots of fat round his middle and came down 2 clothes sizes. He’s now off Metformin, so that’s 4 pills less to take on a daily basis.
Could your OH read some of the threads here? Try Bill 1954’s thread ‘This Has to Work for Me’ which is totally inspiring (SEARCH box top right will find it for you). He’s posted a link to two pictures also, before and after, which is also totally inspiring. He looks at least 10 years younger. These experiences are good as they are from real people, doing the real thing, and proving that although it might be tricky from time to time, IT CAN BE DONE.
And I would suggest you decide to start the thing on your own, if you have a bit of weight you’d like to lose. Your husband may see you looking better and brighter (I can’t overemphasise the other health benefits in terms of ‘aliveness’ that we’ve experienced) and decide that he can join in…..
Very best wishes to you both 🙂
Igorasusual is right, if you can persuade your OH to check out some of the threads here – especially Bill1954’s and captainlynne’s – it might inspire him. I have to agree with your OH about the ‘happy clappy’ stuff at ‘slimming clubs’, I loathed it too and to be honest, their whole approach is now thrown into question by the BSD and similar approaches.
There is nothing like showing someone how things can change, so if you can make a start yourself, may be he will be willing to follow.
Hope it comes right for you both and that you will soon be posting results, instead of pleas for help.
Galleyslave, I guess from your name you do the cooking. If you are serious about going on the diet with him, how about going on it without him like Igorasusual did. Look at the recipes and make nourishing meal similar to what he might normally eat and (like with children) sneak in a few good carbs and slowly leave out the potatoes, pasta, rice etc. My daughter said our (grand)son would not eat chickpeas, I was eating the spanish chickpea and chorizo soup (in the book) and he asked if he could have some, he loved it. Try making stews using pumpkin or butternut squash (not the best carbs but better than potatoes). I think you might get the idea.
On a cheering note, my husband is not overweight, not diabetic and has nothing much wrong with him. He does have high blood pressure so has an annual MOT with blood tests and a cardiology visit. Since I have been on this diet he eats pretty much what I do and I add the devil carbs like some chips with the veggie fritata or rice with the stir fry. More and more he is saying, don’t bother, I’ll do without. So he is half on this diet AND he has lost half a stone (just to smooth out the podge) reduced his blood glucose, cholesterol, triglycerides and been told he shouldn’t really be on blood pressure tablets, which is to be reviewed soon. So just by dipping into my diet it has done him a world of good.
If he really doesn’t care or understand the implications of going on insulin ask him how he would manage sticking a needle in his stomach or thigh every day, sometimes more often and is that better than giving up certain foods. It is awful and it still makes me cry sometimes – not from the pain of doing it, from the hopelessness of it.
I do hope he comes around. I can guarantee if he goes on this diet for 1 week he will see improvements straight away and maybe that will be enough to convince him. Make a bet with him. I am running out of steam here but I feel so passionate about this.
Good luck and take care of yourself.
Does he like curry, I have a fab recipe for chickpea flour flat breads, will look them out tomorrow.
Here is the recipe for flat breads
100 gr (3.5 oz) chick pea flour
40 ml (2fl oz) olive oil
200 ml (7fl oz) water
add some herbs or lemon zest if you want or even paprika or chilli powder
Mix it to a medium thick batter, not too runny. Oil a pancake pan and make it into 4 pancakes or flatbreads.
WARNING this is 600 calories and 80 carbs for 4 but if you just give him one that is 150 cals and 20 carbs. Still too high for most of us but at least you can use this to replace the normal curry accompaniments of a naan bread and you will be giving him a better source of carbs. For those of you who are looking gob smacked, we are talking about a man who refuses to go ‘on a diet’. It is a step in the right direction. The batter can also be used to make your own onion or better still, spinach, bajhis.