Just back & restarting, after 3 month hiatus now motivated by fear.

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  • posted by EleanorMae
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    Hello everyone. I have restarted the BSD today after a break of 3 months. I only managed about 10 days sticking exactly to the diet last time (and I remember I did feel different and great even) but then (and I can’t recall why, life) I fell into a modified 5:2 mode (which in the past month has been the – minimise carbs mode). Despite this, I lost 6 kg early on and have kept it off this past 3 months. BUT now, I don’t feel well and I don’t look well. I’m at least 14 kg over my modest ideal weight. I don’t fit into most of my clothes comfortably due to carrying most of my weight round my middle. I’m 51 and notice I am getting aches and pains, greater inflexibility and have less strength. I’m tired a lot of the time and find I sleep poorly overall. I either don’t get enough hours or wake multiple times in a night (frequently due to it hurting somewhere to turn). Just moving throughout the day requires thought, if it’s not my lower back, it’s my mid back, or my feet, or any number of other parts of my body from my neck to my toes, protesting if I do anything a little different or excessive. My balance has become that of what I perceive to be of an older person. I remind myself of my parents in how I move and carry myself (and I swore I would never get like this). My mum had an active job but was overweight, she died of bowel cancer age 70. My dad underwent a transition from overweight to trim during the low fat revolution and became fit but he ate carbs galore and in his mid 60’s had a heart attack. My mood is ok but at times low and some of it, I notice regularly now has to do with the food I consume. I can no longer consume just anything without getting a reaction of some sort – in my gut, my stomach, my mood, my nervous system. My stress levels are high and I find it near impossible to relax. I felt I haven’t been me for about 13 years – child bearing related. Prior to this I was from early adulthood 14 kg lighter, ate many less carbs and did regular exercise but I was stressed, did have slightly raised cholesterol and always carried fat on my gut. I feel my body and mind have hit a very important cross road. Given the road to this moment in time has involved about 1.5 years of intermittent fasting, then the first go at the BSD, I believe this has made me highly conscious of what might be happening to me inside, as well as knowing and feeling all the not so good things going on listed above. I feel myself to be a slow ticking bomb with a 5-10 year fuse which has already been lit. I’m taking the road to better health and a different life motivated not so much by choice and thinking that it would be good for me, but by fear. This is a stronger motivation and I want to ride on it because I feel like I should be fearful. I feel lucky to have no medical issues apart from a borderline Cholestrol issue and I mean borderline one more click and I’d be in the high zone…. see time bomb. But I can feel it all to be just a matter of time … Started well today and happy to be back.

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