Miss Muffet, I weighed more than 300lbs at 5’2″. I avoided the scale for years so I don’t know what my highest weight was, at least 320lb, I have good reason to believe. Today I weigh 119lbs, less than I weighed in high school. That’s what? Fourteen+ stone? It took me a year and a half, 14 months of it on the Fast 800. Admitting that I was killing myself and had to confront a hideous reality unflinchingly was the most important step, and you’ve done that. I second Californiagirl. Cutting your carbs to below 20 grams while enjoying lovely healthy fats and proteins will break a very long-standing, entrenched pattern of pernicious dieting while giving you a feeling of true satiety that is simply impossible to achieve while eating bad carbs of any kind. In your case, it should also help drop that terrifying blood sugar figure as quickly as possible.
Sarahkeay, I’d never heard of Graze so I looked it up. It’s quite high in carbs thanks to ingredients like cashews (one of the worst of all nuts, carb-wise), rice flour and two different kinds of sugar (maltodextrin and sucrose). Given your history of gestational diabetes, you might need to be extra vigilant about hidden sugars and simple carbs. I understand women who have experienced GD are at great risk of developing diabetes even if it cleared up post-partum. I’m insulin resistant and it wasn’t until I found the BSD and started monitoring the ingredients and carb count of everything I ate, eliminating all sugars and white carbs, that I finally reversed 20 years of steady weight gain and went from moribdly obese to my high school weight in just over a year.
I know from bitter personal experience how denial can become like an old, comfy blanket we wrap ourselves in, and the pattern of gorging the night before “starting a diet” is just another form of avoidance. It’s also a deadly trap because carbs spike insulin which scrapes the glucose out of your blood which makes you crave more carbs and on and on it goes. Cutting them drastically (20 grams or fewer a day, none from wheat, cereals, grains, sugar, starchy veg) can break that pattern better than anything else.
Good luck! Don’t be afraid of the calorie restrictions and counting. It may feel unfamiliar and scary, but it is liberation.